How would a introverted Guy with autism and social anxiety be able to get laid?

grrinchas · 2020-01-12T01:06:30+00:00

Social anxiety can be dealt with by talking with lots of strangers until you don't feel it anymore.

Don't know much about autism. But I don't think it can prevent you to get laid.

You just have to put much more work than someone who doesn't have these problems.

TheHalfMonty · 2020-01-12T01:20:22+00:00

So, Autism is a complexifier here. You may need to rely on a more numbers based approach. Meeting new people all the time will statistically increase your chances of meeting a girl who naturally wants to sleep with you. I know that social anxiety and autism make it difficult to communicate (hence why I'm not advising traditional pickup) which makes meeting new people difficult. I assume you have at least one friend - they may just be an acquaintance at this point - hang out with them more. Meet their friends and become comfortable with them. And then hang out with them more and meet their friends and family. Expanding your social circle will also do wonders for your anxiety and confidence.

axe122 · 2020-01-12T02:44:02+00:00

I can’t speak for the autism part, read books on game and do your best to follow what they say about making sure to keep eye contact and all that. Practice in low pressure situations where your just getting used to talking to strangers. You can’t approach them from a place of small talk or ego like to up and brag about shit your good at as they will either be like yeah that’s cool.... or try to top your achievements with their own.

When I was working on overcoming social anxiety I would talk to someone different at the gym every day. Guys and girls just to work on getting them to engage in real authentic conversations. I would mostly talk with girls and cute ones as they were more of the problem for me but I practiced with anyone who was available. 8/10 people would walk on the treadmill and talk with me for an hour or so. I would literally tell a lot of them that I’m working on overcoming social anxiety and they are helping me out cuz I had a party I was going to that night where I didn’t know anyone. They would end up opening up to me about all kinds of shit you wouldn’t imagine they would tell a stranger and we’d end up talking for an hour or so while working out so I was killing two birds with one stone.

The key was to get them to engage with you and enjoy the conversation not just answer to be polite.

To be clear if your trying to approach a girl for a date do not tell her you have social anxiety or autism. I wouldn’t tell them the autism thing until you’ve slept with them.

They might be iffy about you from the beginning and hearing you have autism may scare them a little bit as they don’t know what that would mean for a relationship of any kind. People typically avoid the unknown.

Obviously you’d have to share with her at some point but don’t unload your baggage on the first date. I would never tell a virgin to tell a girl he’s a virgin as it opens up a whole can of worms with the girl. Just sleep with her when she’s ready and if it’s really all that bad that she asks you tell her or tell her you’ve only been with one other girl but now your not a virgin anymore so who cares.

You gotta start somewhere, I would personally tell her I had 1 other sexual partner if you wanna keep seeing her. Your technically lying to her but she’ll start wondering why no other girl ever wanted you cuz obviously you aren’t holding back for religion. Do what feels right to you personally in regards to that but know that preselection is important to women as they wanna feel like you chose them cuz other women wanted you to and they were special not they were the only girl you could get. They are also highly competitive over men and wanna feel like they won a stud over the other girls. A lot of guys and girls will tell you not to lie and just be honest about it but the decks already stacked against you having autism and still being a virgin. You really wanna get some experience just so when you meet the right girl your compatible with it’s you already know what your doing and can get her and keep her.

Buy and read or listen to the book how to be a 3% man by Cory Wayne. I prefer the audio version so I could listen to it while I’m working out. The book doesn’t have much info on picking women up but it does have a lot of great info on what girls actually respond to and how to keep their attention. It’s all about not being needy and overbearing. Basically if your current idea of a relationship is anything like what you see on tv, movies or from religion you wanna but this book cuz all the stuff you think you should do is probably wrong.

This stuff translated over to picking girls up very well to as it’s a very powerful feeling knowing you know exactly what behaviors to exhibit to get and keep them interested. Don’t change your personality and own the shit you like but change your behaviors and ideas of what you should be doing when you and a girl like each other. Good luck

grrinchas · 2020-01-12T01:31:45+00:00

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RedNewPlan · 2020-01-12T05:03:52+00:00

For me, the worst aspect of dating while autistic is that I can't read which women are interested. The NT guys I know who are successful with women can just walk into a bar or party, and figure out who would be into them, and who wouldn't. I can't tell until she is either actually fucking me, or punching me in the face. And I do not like to make people uncomfortable, so I try really hard to avoid pushing my luck, which greatly reduces my opportunities.

I don't think there is a magic path to success, but you can do it, if you work at it. Things I suggest:

Work very hard to understand women (or men, whichever you are into), read about them, listen to what they say, observe them without being creepy, etc. NT people can do it without even thinking of it, but you can get by with analyzing.
Practice whenever you can. Get out around women, even though it is unpleasant, and force yourself to talk to them. Over time you will feel more comfortable, and get better at it.
There are some settings where you can proposition women, and they will likely not be offended, even if they are not interested, at least as long as you are polite. Places like strip clubs and swinger clubs. They are also good places to get laid, depending on how you feel about the setting.
Develop an NT wing-man you trust. This can also be hard if you are autistic, but it can be invaluable to have a buddy who can tell you who might be interested, signal when she has lost interest, etc.

Good luck.

2020-01-12T08:57:07+00:00

Is it really about getting laid bro?

You can pay for it, after all, and that's much easier than all the social stuff.

Is it really about getting laid?

Gargoylefoil · 2020-01-12T09:10:47+00:00

Yes company can be bought But yes I am a old man All these excuses men scared to ask for a date ? social media is destroying masculinity Step up and take what you want Screw feminism, Jordan Peel with his men crying In his movies scared of the girlfriends shrink momma all this girl power crap YoungMen (under the age of 30)seem to be pussies nowadays Pop culture is at fault as well

machobeefcake · 2020-01-12T23:39:13+00:00

Guy with Asperger's here. I was terrible with social situations until a few years ago when I decided to read into this more. I'm not the greatest at it, but I've had some results and have undergone a pretty big transformation.

I don't know much about your situation, but I've found that I do better at things I understand in a more analytical sense. You might find it helpful to read up on things like body language, psychology, sexual selection, cognitive biases, etc. Most importantly is to get out there yourself and note the patterns you find.

To answer your question directly, it's not so hard for an introverted/autistic guy to "get laid." Just play the numbers game and run routines on girls until you find one in the mood. Or just pay someone. But assuming you're looking for genuine connections with people, you'll have to do a little more. That requires internalizing many beliefs that may seem foreign to you at first.

I can help with questions you might have. This stuff is difficult for guys like us, but not impossible. And it's 100% worth it.

luisb1000 · 2020-01-13T14:33:33+00:00

If you have trouble starting the conversation you should make scripts in your head of what you’re going to say, this also can apply for meeting new people. This is a method I do because I’m in my head a lot of the times. Make the script tailored to that moment/situation in time. For example, if you see a pretty girl you like to talk to you can compliment her, get her name, and tell her your interested in her. (Being direct is best imo) So the interaction, could happen like this,

“Hey, I like the shirt that your wearing, it looks really nice.”

She says thank you.

“I have to say your really pretty.”

She’s says thank you again

“Can we grab coffee some time or meetup.”

She then says yes or rejects you or says I have a boyfriend. If she questions and says why, be honest and say your find her attractive.

I’m pretty sure 1 of the 3 will happen.

If she says, sure then exchange phone numbers/details.

Don’t treat this as a numbers game. Every girl is an individual like you and I, you should respect them and acknowledge them as one and they will give you respect in return.

Your goal should be getting to know her and her getting to know you. Your main goal shouldn’t be just to get laid.

Talk to girls that you are interested in/find attracted. Don’t just talk to every girl that passes you hoping to have sex.

Be authentic and you should really want to know about her more.

I hope this helps, this method can also like I said help you meet new people.

You will get better and better when you talk with more people.

Title	How would a introverted Guy with autism and social anxiety be able to get laid?
Author	windows-entrance45
Upvotes	2
Comments	19
Date	January 12, 2020 12:58 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/engehe/how_would_a_introverted_guy_with_autism_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-would-a-introverted-guy-with-autism-and-social.1488292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1488292

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