I just went on my first date ever and it was the most awkward thing ever

madwzdri · 2020-01-21T02:55:21+00:00

If she's already on a date with you that means she already decided she likes you as long as you escalate slowly she's not going to freaked out at you showing intent

justahappyidiot · 2020-01-21T04:34:03+00:00

You're going to friend zone yourself because you don't have the guts to escalate things to where SHE wants them to be.

I know this is hard for you to believe, but trust me when I say this: women want sex just as badly as men.

She was probably hoping that you'd do something and then wondering why you didn't.

She was probably giving you signs that you missed. Bumping into you, eye contact, biting her lip... Or maybe not. Maybe she is awkward and inexperienced too.

Or maybe she's not interested in you romantically.

The thing you need to understand is that trying to make things man to woman doesn't make you a creep or whatever. It makes you a confident man.

If you try to escalate and she's into you, you're good.

If you try to escalate and she's not into you, she might act awkward or whatever... But she isn't going to think you're a creep (as long as you don't put your dick in a popcorn bucket or something).

I sometimes think all of this theory and advice makes guys feel like if there's some secret knowledge that is required to get a girl to fuck you. There isn't. People have been fucking for a long time.

Have fun with her. Relax. Touch her. If you're scared to escalate slowly or don't have the opportunity just kiss her. But don't attack her. The process should take 3-4 seconds...

Grab her and move her into position.. (one thousand) Look her in the eyes, or stare at her lips (two thousand) Move in for the kiss, don't attack her but don't be expecting her to stop you. Assume she won't (three thousand)

She's going to know exactly what you're doing within the first second or two, if she doesn't want to kiss you this gives her time to duck or put her hands on your chest.

Sometimes I'll drag the process out because the tension is exciting for both people. Sometimes I'll even pull back just a little bit right before I kiss her, just to tease her, then proceed to kiss her.

I'm not telling you that as advice, but to point out that girls are fun for the very reason that they make so many men nervous. It's EXCITING. It's exciting for her too.

You aren't doing anything wrong, or bad. You like her and you want to be physical with her because that's a huge part of being human. If she's not interested in you like that, oh well. At least she won't think you're a little pussy that's afraid to make a move.

jakobolobo · 2020-01-21T09:13:20+00:00

Invite her over to cook dinner. Love this date idea, it gives excuse to get close, and make "innocent" touches. It also removes the awkwardness because you are doing something. So you there won't be awkward silences

jackkou623 · 2020-01-21T10:54:24+00:00

Oh Man It is just you say it is creepy, it is awkward, it is bad or something. It is just what you feel, unless you have clear signals from the lucky lady.

We all have difficulties reach out our comfort zone, don’t let fear blinds you, be yourself, don’t pretend. If she doesn’t like what you are, maybe you two are not that match. If you just want sex, just ask her for a night coffee.

Xazax310 · 2020-01-21T11:31:20+00:00

Honestly you not touching her, in this case, was the best thing you could of done. If you felt unconfident of reaching out/touching her/grabbing her etc, it would of shown and been even more awkward kind of weird.

The only thing I think is odd is that you've known her I guess socially for a year... and your not comfortable around her?

Kimdabrim · 2020-01-21T03:09:27+00:00

Sounds like you picked the wrong date. Do something you'll be more comfortable.

bemore_ · 2020-01-21T04:18:08+00:00

Go somewhere more relaxed

plasmatic9 · 2020-01-21T10:10:04+00:00

Its your first date which means you can get others- learn from this and move on

liko_osper · 2020-01-21T10:28:32+00:00

Calm yourself. Relax. Enjoy the moment. Proceed cautiously.

Harshal_Speaks · 2020-01-21T10:33:22+00:00

You can tell her that you’re nervous yourself and this would comfort her as she now will know that you guys are on the same page

beat-schmeat · 2020-01-21T14:15:38+00:00

It’s the first date. You don’t have to be physical on the first date. Maybe just some casual touching, but being too aggressive would’ve been definitely the wrong move. I think you were very respectful, and did what was suitable for the venue you picked

fazeplaze · 2020-01-21T14:49:44+00:00

Easy way to get her to touch you is by playing games which involve touch. Ask her for a friendly arm wrestling match or a thumb fight and she won't say a no as long as you don't look like a buffed beast. Notice how she acts around and if she's trying to touch you well mate there ya go casual touch isn't gonna be hard then. All the best for your next date. Ace that shit

Kvantemekanik · 2020-01-21T16:23:49+00:00

Don't do dates where you can't interact.

frengee · 2020-01-21T18:19:11+00:00

i've never had a date, but I imagine that it would be super awkward and cringey lol

I'm better just approaching girls completely from cold in bars when we're both drunk and can be silly, and when I can just eject when it gets awkward. I imagine a date being like a really weird job interview where we bore each other stupid!

omega_kush · 2020-01-21T21:03:30+00:00

Movie is a horrible date unless youve been dating awhile. Do something more interactive and competitive with her. If you are just going to be boring she may as well stay home. Im not hating on you, but pick something that isnt so cliche... Dinner and a movie is a horrible idea for the first few dates.

surfinfan21 · 2020-01-22T01:34:12+00:00

I get you’re younger but movies, concerts (sit down) and dinner are terrible dates no matter the age because they take your attention away from each other and leave no room for escalation. I’d scalp her up and say hey listen I actually can’t do the move. Can we bump our date back a little bit and do X. Then pick something fun like mini golf, a club, Dave and busters or another video arcade place ( my top pick for you). Then go into it and be fun a flirty. Tease her when she beats you or loses to you. Say your playing a shooting game. She picks up the gun and you say something like wow you look way to comfortable with that in your hand.

m0nd · 2020-01-22T13:53:57+00:00

Movies or situations where you'll be sitting side to side aren't really the best for getting touchy. Try a different idea for the next date. A bar, park, museum, physical activity, etc or invite her over to your place or you go to hers to do some kind of activity (cooking, watching a movie/show, colouring, playing a game, doing yoga, etc, etc)

2020-01-21T19:10:55+00:00

My recommendation would be:

Do not have high expetations, but be prepared. It means you need to plan what to do (cinema, dinner, walk in the park) and plan what to talk about, but you are cool about things you do not have influence on. Eg. movie is crappy, she wants to do different things than you have planned, the weather changes rapidly and ruins your plans.
Do not assume anything. Like that you need to kiss her on the second date no matter what. Do things like holding hands and kissing when you feel that it is a right thing to do. If she turns you down, joke slightly about it and try to challenge her, do not judge her. I am in a relationship, I kissed him on the 4th or 5th date, we had sex on 9th.
Flirt with her. Sometimes it takes time before you kiss, touch, have sex. But what makes a difference between friendship and a date (good date) is flirting. Remember that you are a guy and she is a girl. Treat her like she is a lady.

Good luck!

Raptordude11 · 2020-01-21T02:48:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2020-01-21T03:57:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I just went on my first date ever and it was the most awkward thing ever
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	27
Date	January 21, 2020 2:36 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ero4ya/i_just_went_on_my_first_date_ever_and_it_was_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-just-went-on-my-first-date-ever-and-it-was-the.1488895 https://theredarchive.com/post/1488895

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