Fear of awkward and creepy interactions

Xodio · 2020-08-09T10:09:52+00:00

I used to play RTS competitively online. I still remember the first competitive game I played. I was shaking at the keyboard, because these guys were good and this was real, not some AI. I was embarrassed at how bad I was. And I lost that match. Then I lost 7 more. I realized how bad I was and that I will probably lose more. But I learned from my mistakes and I started to recognize my opponents make mistakes. Then I played my 9th game, which I won. My opponent was such trash, that I realized I may be bad, but at least I am not that bad. After that I realized that my fear was just made up. I stopped fearing the game... I played and either I was good enough and won or I wasn't good enough and lost.

That's all it took. 9 games. Approaching is the same. Your 9th approach is gonna be a lot better than your 1st approach. Your 1st approach is also the hardest. So...

Prepare ~3 sentences. "Hi, I just wanted to say you have a lovely vibe about you. Have a nice day!" then leave. Memorize them, use body language, practice them with your most energetic friendly version of yourself.

Keep it small, its not about having conversation right now. That is for later. It's about approaching. With those sentences you have approached, left, and nothing is awkward about it. Go and do this 10 times. Take notes (on your phone or paper) what went well, what went bad, was it you, or was it her (NOTE: she may be uncooperative, but it's never her fault). Figure ways to improvise, adapt, and overcome.

After you have this down, go and take the step to make your approach interactions longer and make conversation.

norwegiandoggo · 2020-08-09T09:30:07+00:00

Why are you afraid of such interactions?

_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__ · 2020-08-09T10:48:48+00:00

This is a common fear. What matters most is your intentions. Women are very forgiving of mistakes if your intentions are good. You can say a nice thing in a creepy way if your intentions are bad. And you can say a creepy thing in a nice way if the context is right and your intentions are good. In fact, I’d say that the act of putting yourself out there and expressing sexual interest is itself a kinda creepy thing to attempt. BUT, it’s worth doing and learning from your mistakes.

Make mistakes. Learn. Get better

feedthekitty · 2020-08-09T09:57:53+00:00

Even the most successful people have awkward interactions. They key is you need to not be so invested in strangers. If it’s awkward, then no big deal. Move on to the next person.

2020-08-09T11:29:53+00:00

Don't worry,think of this as if you are educating the person(doesn't literally mean you start teaching them something) but assume they are dumb and take a deep breath and start talking about something which she can relate at the spur of the moment and doesn't need to think about too much,if you keep having awkward silences you could get screwed easily,so always keep the convo going, if it's too tough make it happend in a group(always works for me)

Tylermcd93 · 2020-08-09T11:02:06+00:00

Same. I was called creepy throughout late elementary school through high school. Because of this, I no longer am able to interact with women beyond specific reasons like work and such. If I even think about trying to socialize with a girl I find cute, I immediately remember those times and remember the hurt and anxiety, and I just decide, it’s not worth possibly experiencing that again.

TheArdentRake · 2020-08-09T11:45:43+00:00

I have the same exact problem. I used to be really shy, I was blushing even from a simple compliment received from a girl or whenever I felt slightly embarrassed. Luckily I managed to get over it(not completely but enough that I can feel comfortable having a conversation with a girl I like) but I still have some major issues, like not being able to ignore the feeling of awkwardness and just make a move on girls whenever the time is right. I realised that because of that I lost a lot of awesome opportunities and I think that you guys did too, because you never know what could have happened until you try it. It's a simple equation, either you don't make a move because you feel awkward and nothing will happen between the two of you or you make a move despite the awkwardness that you feel and have a even the slightest chance of going things further. The last one is always the best one cause obviously everything is better than nothing. And also, in time, you'll get so comfortable with the awkwardness that you won't even feel it anymore. There are more factors that you need to consider before making the bold approach, for example: if you know the person or if you know you're definitely going to see each other again then you might consider taking a more smooth approach, giving it more time and not going straight for the prize( wich in this case would be the girls phone number or her social media contacts). The point is that in most of the cases action must be taken immediately and awkwardness is inevitable so you might as well try as many times as you can so you can be more comfortable with the process. And also something very important, for whenever things don't go as planned, and you get rejected, do not take it personal. I would suggest reading "Rejection Proof" by Jia Jang, it would definitely give you a different view in approaching people. Good luck guys!

relentless_pma · 2020-08-09T14:00:11+00:00

I think approaching and dating have a lot of the times a little bit of awkwardness in them and thats totally fine.

ElLetdown · 2020-08-09T16:40:09+00:00

Awkwardness can't be avoided. Best to just accept that awkward moments are bound to happen. Hell, even laugh and call them out. Just don't be like this, learn to take rejection, know when a woman isn't interested and doesn't want to be bothered and you're fine.

Grizzlies5003 · 2020-08-09T19:04:36+00:00

Practice, sir. Talk to them as if nothing is going to happen anyways, hold a relaxed vibe.

oodieboodie · 2020-08-09T20:46:23+00:00

No one on this subreddit mentions their age which is fine. My best guess is that your might still be in your teens or early 20's. Trust when I say you just need experience talking to people. The best advice I can give is to try a job, where you are forced to interact with strangers. I work in retail and in bartending For many, many years. I can chat with pretty much anyone bc I've practiced so much. The easiest way to chat someone up is to notice something their wearing and compliment on it. Funny shirt, cool hat, even nice perfume! The ones I can't break through to are the ones who usually have a rude attitude. You can pick up on a vibe sometimes. I get shy customers also and usually go easy on them. It's pretty fun though to make them suffer a little. When I first started in retail, I hated having to greet people, but after awhile it was like riding a bicycle. When I came to manage in the bar, I made all the bartenders greet immediately all the customers. I could tell right away who was in their comfort zone and who needed pushing. After a while everyone got in the habit which made the customers feel more at ease. So how do you get to better? Practice, practice, practice!

Mangopokpok · 2020-08-10T00:15:29+00:00

Just don’t approach her where she’s in a potential dangerous place. I’ve been approached from a stranger guy once. At that time I was lost in the middle of the night, there’s really no one there and omg in my head it’s screaming he’s gonna kill me because I watch so many true crime documentaries.

mubeen9 · 2020-08-09T12:12:29+00:00

Hello it's ok to feel awkward when meeting people that's not big deal. It will usually go away after getting knowing each other. Just accept the way you are😀

shawarma13 · 2020-08-09T15:37:48+00:00

You have addressed this as 2 separate issues.

Awkward around women.
My past haunts me and I am unable to let it go.

Preface: not a girls/pick-up expert.

For 1. Always make awkward look funny. Being awkward in and itself is not a bad thing if you are able to play it off as this is part of a JOKE. For example: I remember a girl stepped on my foot once in the metro and my first instinct was "omg my personal space" and I pulled my leg out. When she apologized. I said: it's okay, if this wasn't a public space I'd let you hurt me all over with a smile and squinted eyes.

Understand that failing in being attractive in of itself is not bad and still salvageable, just embrace it and make it part of your persona. Learn the inner workings of sarcasm and Wit as they will help you embrace and laugh at your blunders and around women this is something highly cherished.

For 2. Your best bet is therapy if you could afford it as I can see you were bullied a little. But. The past is the past, look in the mirror and loudly tell yourself you are a new man who has moved on. And try to develop onwards to let go of the past.

Good luck, God speed.

socialanimal_us · 2020-08-09T23:24:18+00:00

Checkout this video about relationship to desires, you will find it interesting https://youtu.be/bZAgGiDf2lo

darthtank70 · 2020-08-10T03:35:50+00:00

Well I'm fucked lol. I'm stupid with girls and still have no idea how at 31 if it makes anyone here feel better. Unless the girl approaches me interested I'm screwed. I'm too boring or awkward but I'm not gonna act like I'm full of shit just to get them. Feels like I have to though just to get their attention, and if I have to do that then the girl isn't worth my time

STD_Tyler · 2020-08-09T10:50:47+00:00

When you creep 100s of girls you will become desensitised to this type of fear. And actually become less creepy. If you keep avoiding approaching you will stay creepy forever.

Title	Fear of awkward and creepy interactions
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	61
Comments	28
Date	August 9, 2020 9:06 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/i6gde0/fear_of_awkward_and_creepy_interactions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fear-of-awkward-and-creepy-interactions.1500116 https://theredarchive.com/post/1500116

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