Self improvement tips for 33 year old Virgin

LimitlessHarmony · 2021-02-19T22:14:42+00:00

I was 23 and in a similar position as you - focused on my career, work, and just realized one day that I didn't focus at my dating life at all.

I told myself it was just something that didn't matter, but in reality, while I was ambitious and into my work it was also a good distraction from my weaknesses (longer version here)

The biggest jump in my success was a combination of 3 things:

Style - there's no 2nd chance to make a first impression. Most guys don't dress well. Figuring out how to do this gave me a huge advantage. There's a guide you can use here. After 1-2 years of practice, I actually got good enough to get into fashion shows and this really propelled me into higher levels of girls than before.
Behavior patterns - I love day game vs. night game bc it felt more authentic, but it's different and in some subtle ways, harder. It's hard to know what you're doing wrong if you're not already at auto-correcting status, so sometimes a coach or a wing can point things out. I carry a mic and record all my conversations, and listen to them afterward. It's so clear after that what I was doing wrong and I would fix one thing at at time. For example one time I realized I kept repeating what the girl said, "oh really that's interesting" I said that like 4 times in a row, repeating what she just told me.
Energy - the vibe and the energy projection into that interaction is key - it can really influence the flow of your words and body language. This is something that needs to be seen to really understand.

As for online dating, you really have to get your pictures right, before any results are seen. Think of it like a job interview funnel - first you have your resume, then the first call with HR, then the call with the manager, then interview the team.

The first 3 profile pics and your description (angle / brand), how you're quickly positioning yourself on the app is really important. If you want PM me I'll take a look.

Hope this helps!

HeavenPiercingMan · 2021-02-20T01:57:53+00:00

Now, sometime I have thoughts about buying sex which I have managed to control as I wanted to keep it natural and organic and don't want to do something I regret later in the life.

you speak like it's traumatic... it's just sex, a crash course without the pressure of risking rejection, and you're not gonna be judged for having no experience at age 33 since at least you'll have some. Many sex workers are used to having to bring some men outta their shells.

it comes down to whether you are horny or not and whether the pressure of your hormones and FOMO is hindering your ability to act cool and think straight. If not, you don't need to buy sex. Anyways, there's no "magical organic first time", all the first times are shitty and even worse if you're having judgement anxiety or performance anxiety. They only become "magical" when you're with someone you are just discovering you truly click. That could be any time - for me it was the 15th time with my former fwb, and the 2nd with the girl I'm kinda seeing now.

hanoijohn1995 · 2021-02-20T05:56:07+00:00

Escorts exist for reason. Get some exposure to real sex because you won't be able to lie about being an inexperienced virgin. Men have been buying sex for centuries. (Hint: you pay a lot more to have a girlfriend)

pussydownsyndorme · 2021-02-19T23:45:21+00:00

You said you're thin - maybe jack up those shoulders and arms with some pushups, build some muscle. Do you even lift, bruh? Wear stylish clothes. Do a breath check. You seem sweet though, you'll meet a chick eventually. You have lots of time. Dont go to a hoe, you may catch the gift that keeps on giving.

Therocksays2020 · 2021-02-19T19:08:50+00:00

Approach will get you further than dating apps. Apps are so saturated it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle.

You also seem fairly successful. I would consider your social circles a little further.

You can always go on r/bumble and r/hingeapp to post your profile and get advice on making it more appealing to others.

ProCatMasseuse · 2021-02-20T07:26:59+00:00

I would recommend dating multiple women at a time so you can get a feel for what you like in a woman and what you definitely don't like in a woman. They are people too and just like other people some of them are really shitty. The hard part is telling the good from the bad because women interact and socialize with the world differently than men. Dating multiple women at a time will not only get you familiar with women, but also save you from having too hurt of feelings if things dont work out. This is called having options and is something that comes naturally to women. You dont have to make things exclusive and I'd actually recommend you dont. Lying is not apart of healthy relationships.

Also know that sex is an important part to intimate relationships although to varying degrees depending on the person. That being the case I wouldn't jump into an exclusive relationship with someone BEFORE you've had sex with them because then that is going to be leveraged to your disadvantage. In other words it puts you in a very compromising position and being that you're a virgin at 33 you cant afford compromising yourself and your ambitions. With that I'll add

DO NOT DATE THE PERSON YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO.

You're 33 and this is going to feel like a really big deal to you. Youre going to have an emotional connection with that person and they will use that against you. A one night stand is your best option for losing your virginity. Go in town, talk to bitches until you click with one and yall bang then delete her number and any form of contact you have for her. Be aware of your feelings, accept them and allow yourself to feel them but DO NOT ACT ON THEM. YOU need to be in control not your emotions. If you dont control them, they will control you.

Good luck brother. You have your work cut out for you

wwwww9023 · 2021-02-19T21:05:23+00:00

Don’t pay for it, especially not for the the first time. Any hobbies to meet new people? It’s hard to tell what’s wrong, but a 2 out of 100 I would agree something needs to change. For now I would just keep it simple and when you approach have nothing else in mind other than being confident and finding some sort of connection/something in common and building from there. Then with time you’ll see what works and can build a routine

hakeem15 · 2021-02-20T10:24:44+00:00

I snooped on your profile man and saw your dating profile screenshot. u/LimitlessHarmony 's advice fits your situation best.

I'm not calling you ugly lol but I don't think you've maximized your style and physique potential. Your profile doesn't scream confidence or "this guy fucks".

Personally I wouldn't pay for that guys course though; I think a good bit of googling and looking at the male fashion advice & gainIt subreddit should put you on the right path.

Specifically, if you don't wanna take the time to do that, I suggest edging up your beard, ditch the hat or get something better, smile bigger/look happier in your photos, take some group photos with friends... maybe some photos doing something fun or exciting, add a nice watch or bracelet necklace or any accessories, and maybe get an undercut or something that fits your style that's also with the times.

madwitchchu44 · 2021-02-20T05:17:25+00:00

Some advice, maybe don’t pay for sex but pay a sex worker to go on a date?

You do not necessarily have sex with her, right? and let her know before hand that you are looking to learn what you need to work on? Maybe go more than once? Many sex workers are professionals who take their jobs seriously. Behave with respect, as a gentleman and pay for a few dates where your date is required to in essence “give direct advice on how you could be more appealing in general”.

Maybe see a few different people and get other advice. Taking the sex out of it will give you the space to focus on yourself with a person who is a professional in human intimacy.

Edit 1: also sex therapists Edit 2: good luck Edit 3: One can and many do pay sex workers for other interactions than sex, it’s unfortunate the name suggests otherwise

TheGoatLives24 · 2021-02-19T23:44:59+00:00

6ft tall man, work on your physique. Gain muscle mass, dress better, and learn how to seduce. Most importantly, no porn or masturbation. Improve these areas of your life and things will get only easier.

MajesticLaw4939 · 2021-02-20T04:44:07+00:00

You should really just try to get out there in the social scene of Stockholm, I'm sure it's loaded with things to do. Go to the bars, clubs, events, concerts, anything like that. Go out into the social scene and enjoy yourself, you're not trying to sleep with random girls so I wouldn't put of that kind of vibe. Be yourself and look to strike connections with people. Dating apps are good, I have less experience with those but I'm going to install them soon. It's an easy way to throw yourself in the dating pool so you should keep doing that. Do you have any male friends, or anyone you can go out with? Any people from your past that you can re connect with? Granted this is more difficult because of Covid, but put yourself out there man and have faith that you will have a good girl eventually. Congratulations on your career and other accomplishments you have a lot to build on! As for escorts, I would recommend against that dude. Find someone who wants to be with you for free. I know it's tempting, but restrain yourself.

Outrageous-Hand-7252 · 2021-02-20T10:57:08+00:00

I live in Stockholm to and can tell you that women here are extremly spoiled and entitled on tinder

Title	Self improvement tips for 33 year old Virgin
Author	qatesting72
Upvotes	25
Comments	16
Date	February 19, 2021 7:04 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lnnp10/self_improvement_tips_for_33_year_old_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/self-improvement-tips-for-33-year-old-virgin.1510073 https://theredarchive.com/post/1510073

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