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Hello,

I need some advice. I’m 41m and my wife is also 41F. We have been together for 5 years and have been married 3 of them. I have three children from a previous marriage 15,13, and 10 who stay with us every other weekend. My wife was married before and she has a child from a previous relationship also who stays with us full-time and is 8.. We met as I was finalizing my last divorce.

We fell hard for each other and were at one point madly in love. I work from home and I have also been a family supporter. I cook, clean, do laundry, the full deal.

Merging the two families has been very difficult. But we both knew this going into it.

We have had our share of fights just silly things. In some of these fights, she would break my things, last year she threw all my Christmas presents she got me outside, sprayed perfume on all my clothes, broke two cell phones, tore up our photo albums, wiped dog feces on my work area, and the last major fight she attacked me. I was outside and she had come home from being gone all day and just let me have it. Hit me threw rocks at me and my truck, threw food at me, and over this 10 min attack, I have it on video she went in the house got a plate, and threw it cutting my leg badly. I have never touched her or any of her or are shared Property but I have restored to verbal attacks as I do not know how to process feelings. I'm not perfect have called her names like bitch, etc.

Throughout our marriage she wanted to have a child and had told me she was sad and wanted to have a child being a loving person trying to make my wife happy I said sure. We worked on it and she got pregnant and the baby had a complication and we had to do a DNR. It was hard for her and I. We tried again and this time twin boys came. During her pregnancy, she would just not talk to me and just ignored me and I then started doing the same we wouldn't talk for days. After the birth of the twins, it was nice we both helped out.

The boys are now 4 months old. Over the last two months, she has deserted me and the boys and would leave to take her child to school not coming home till 7-9 pm and then she would bathe the boys and retreat to another room. I work from home full time so I was working and taking care of the kids. For the first two months, she was helping out at night and somewhat doing the day, then just stopped. This of course made us fight. I was upset every time she came home and in the morning I was upset she was leaving and wouldn't tell me. I start to resort to you telling her to move out. Over the months I could have said it every day I was overwhelmed and hurting. I was the sole caregiver to these boys since birth.

Last week she took the boys for two days and I thought it was Weird that all a sudden she's now taking the boys out with her during the day. No big deal I needed a break. On Tuesday of last week, she came home early and had a soft tone of voice when talking to me. About an hour later 6 Sheriff officers showed up and served me with a restraining order for a 10-day temporary saying she felt threatened. I walked out of the house with just a bag with one pair of clothes. She has also filed for a Divorce and wants 90% and for e to see them once a week for 4hrs. The next day she came and took all her things and her daughters and cleaned out the house.

I still have feelings for her and want to make this work but it hurts.

Here is my response to the court on her temporary order. I am not too concerned about the order being extended as I have a video of her beating on me and I have no Criminal background.

My response I plan to read to the judge.

I come before this court as a full-time stay-at-home father who also works full-time from home, entrusted with the primary care of our children.

Regrettably, over the past two months, xxxx has exhibited a troubling pattern of desertion, frequently departing our home early and returning late into the evening. Upon her return, she showed scant regard for our infants' needs, retreating to seclusion in another room, leaving me to manage the responsibilities alone.

During this time, xxxx has engaged in various social activities, including hockey games, birthday parties, movies, lunch dates, and amusement parks, leaving me to care for our two 4-month-old infants without adequate support. She even went as far as removing the car seats, impeding my ability to leave the house with our children. On March 15th, a verbal altercation ensued, prompting me to urge xxxx to seek counseling for her behavior and physical aggression towards me or consider divorce. Subsequently, she sought legal counsel, leading to the filing of a police report.

It is with a heavy heart and profound embarrassment that I must disclose the abuse I have endured. As a man, it is deeply humiliating to acknowledge being a victim of domestic violence and witnessing the destruction of property. I have been subjected to physical assaults, with video evidence substantiating xxxx aggressive behavior towards me. Her actions betray any genuine fear for her safety or that of our children, displaying instead a troubling comfort violence against her husband.

When reviewing the evidence, one must question whether xxxx is truly acting out of concern for her safety and that of our children, or if she is simply comfortable in her actions knowing that there will be no repercussions. The incident that precipitated her violent outburst was water overspray on her car from washing a nearby vehicle.

Furthermore, I recount instances where I had to barricade myself in a room to avoid further harm from xxxx, who proceeded to vandalize our property and house. Her aggression extended to damaging my personal belongings, including two cell phones, in acts aimed at isolating me from communication. She has also wiped feces all over my desk and computer.

Additionally, xxxx previous incarceration for domestic violence against her former partner in Santa Barbara should raise concerns she also beat him up. He was man enough and had enough self-esteem to call the cops and press charges Despite my efforts to procure relevant records, administrative hurdles have impeded timely access to this critical information.

I harbor genuine fears for my safety, compounded by xxxx manipulation of facts to her advantage. While I possess further evidence of attacks against me, I am currently unable to access it. Moreover, she also failed to disclose the presence of our three other children who live with us and two additional dogs. The other children are ages 15, 13, and 10, all under 18 and old enough to report a crime to their other parent or teacher, or could have even called 911 from the phones they all have.

Her concern is not for the safety of the children; otherwise, she would have also feared for the other's safety, including them in the order. Out of three dogs, her concern was only for one dog, abandoning the other two who were not fed or given water for over a week until a neighbor informed me they looked sick. She did not arrange to feed and water the dogs, leaving them locked in a cage to die outside. I had to have my 65-year-old mother go see if the dogs were alive and feed them.

She also took this time to move everything out of the house.

Her failure to disclose the presence of our other three children and moving everything out of the house coupled with her neglectful treatment of these animals, demonstrates a callous disregard for familial well-being.

She also called me two times on 3/23/24 and I did not answer.

In light of these distressing circumstances, Your Honor, I implore this court to interve.