Child - Step Parent

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-11T18:35:53+00:00

Step-mom is a social construct. The courts do not recognize paternal terms for anyone not legally the parent of the child. Instructing a child to call another adult a reserved paternal term is parental alienation. You need to communicate the following to your ex:

Dearest Daughter of Satan,

Our child is calling your new wife “mommy” which violates paternity reserved terms. Both of us need to reinforce the other’s relationship with our child. I will seek relief from the court to preserve paternity reserved terms if this continues.

Sincerely,

SuperDad

This is an attempt to invites the other parent to engage in a dialogue, which is why it informs rather than demands. It’s written from the perspective that the parent must be unaware of this behavior and would not endorse it. The reality is, you aren’t writing this letter to correct the other parent’s behavior today. If your ex was being reasonable, you wouldn’t be in this situation. The letter is for a judge to read later, which is why it’s so short. You likely won’t get a response from the other parent.

Your letter needs to demonstrate that you attempted to settle the matter on your own by opening a dialogue about the issue with the other parent. Your letter will be about one specific issue the court can remedy.The letter is only three sentence and includes the following:

Problem statement. What is the other parent doing wrong?
Remedy statement. What is the desired outcome?
Relief statement. What will be done if this is not addressed?The letter follows the BIFF format, which is effective when dealing with high conflict people:

Brief: Readable in 15-20 seconds. Because that's all the time the judge will give it.

Informative: Immediately get to the point.

Friendly: Be a concerned parent about a child.

Firm: This is not the place for hedging language.

If you use an online parenting site like Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard, then you send the message that way. And you do it every time it comes up with your child.

If you don't use a parenting site for comms, then send it via FedEx.

Successful_Love_9213 · 2024-04-11T16:56:29+00:00

Let it go, honestly it's your ex's battle if she doesn't like him saying two moms. Your kid knows who his parents are even if the language is different.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-11T16:37:36+00:00

He will always have one mom and dad. I personally think labels are overrated as long as the 'step' parent is taking care of the kid as you would. The more people that love and respect your child the better no matter what label you give them.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2024-04-11T16:01:23+00:00

It's not clear to me if your ex married a woman based on how you worded things. IMO, your ex's spouse is a step parent to your son. That is the common understanding of the term step parent. A marriage that puts them into a parental relationship with a child.

My ex has a bf and that person is not a step parent to my kid but if they got married, he would be my kids step dad. I may not like that, but that is the common understanding of the term

Title	Child - Step Parent
Author	Cheap_Baseball3609
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	April 11, 2024 3:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c1i3qw/child_step_parent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/child-step-parent.1514736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514736

Comments