Partner considering your male advocacy the opposite side / opinion

Sydnaktik · 2024-04-13T14:05:38+00:00

I have as a core requirement that my relationship partner must be capable of rational thought and empathy towards me. And yes I had been single for a very long time before I met my, now, girlfriend.

But in my experience and belief, for someone in your situation the key word is empathy. She's likely been pummeled with rhetoric and ideology that has desensitized her to men's perspective and issues on an emotional level.

When talking about this, you need to pay attention primarily to how she feels and find out what to say that will get her to feel empathy for you and for men.

You can't reason somebody out of a belief that they didn't reason themselves into.

Skirt_Douglas · 2024-04-13T15:07:57+00:00

No, I’m thankful to have a partner who isn’t possessed by an internet hivemind. She isn’t saying this because she is young and rebellious, she is saying it because she Indoctrinated. Women who aren’t already bought in to feminism don’t say shit like “because patriarchy” just because they are when in their early twenties. If your partner cannot hear you out with empathy, at the very least because it’s you who’s speaking, think carefully about if a future with this person is really what you want.

Educational_Mud_9062 · 2024-04-13T01:30:42+00:00

No, but only because I don't bring this stuff up because I figure the responses you're giving as examples here are about the best I could expect

eli_ashe · 2024-04-13T14:42:31+00:00

no, but I have dealt with related phenomenon where my lover just can't really get what I'm talking bout bc they're not really listening and responding, they are reacting and trying to 'win' an argument. It can be quite frustrating.

I've found some success in discussing the meta points with them over the years. That is, like discussing how to listen and respond to each other, pointing out that I am not the caricature of the people they're responding to online, our relationship is more important than these disagreements, and similar kinds of good communication skillz talk. This bc it avoids the argument, and focuses on the relationship and communication.

I've also found it helpful to regularly refocus their attention to whatever it is I am talking bout, when I am trying to talk to them bout something. As in 'I'm not talking bout women's issues atm, talking bout men's issues rn'.

It is maybe important to recognize that folks may be learning to argue, and treating everything like an argument they are trying to win, rather than a discussion that is being had with a mutual aim of Truth.

CeleryMan20 · 2024-04-13T21:32:46+00:00

I wouldn't even try to have a conversation like that with my wife. Not because she’s an indoctrinated feminist but because she’s a selfish person who uses fem-generalisations as part of her arsenal to maintain the upper hand disguised like she's the martyr. And because our relationship has degenerated to the point that I don’t even want to discuss big-picture issues with her any more.

Is this just a single thing that you will have to “agree-to-disagree” on, or a symptom of a broader imbalance in the relationship?

If you can't have a stimulating discussion about meaningful issues now, or if you can’t get support and empathy from your partner now, what will it be like when you’re married with children?

CeleryMan20 · 2024-04-13T21:06:59+00:00

What is this “grifting” that people (mostly Americans AFAICT) keep saying? I thought I knew what it meant but OP has used it in a different sense.

AdFun5641 · 2024-04-14T20:13:10+00:00

You are not alone.

I had a partner break up with me because I think all people deserve human rights, even men. She was also upset because wage discrimination isn't a current problem. The current problem for workplace equality is "Mommy Tracking" young women. I wasn't willing to ignore how excluding fathers from parenting roles affects the workplace. This made her very mad.

The two sides for "Gender Equality" are "Hate men" or "Hate women" and if you aren't a bigot both sides are going to label you a bigot on the other side.

How do I deal with it? Hobbies. I spent today brewing beer and working on converting my van to be a camper van.

You don't need a relationship to be a complete person. You are not defined by your partner. A man needs a woman like a bicycle needs a fish.

Title	Partner considering your male advocacy the opposite side / opinion
Author	Gonalex
Upvotes	25
Comments	22
Date	April 12, 2024 3:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1c2c21u/partner_considering_your_male_advocacy_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/partner-considering-your-male-advocacy-the.1514899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514899

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