How to handle being uncertain of one of your man's friends?

IWTTYAS · 2024-04-17T05:34:40+00:00

If your gut says "RED ALERT" you tell your boyfriend. There is something you see that he might not. We are built differently. That's fine. Share you concerns.

He may be in the lead but you're homefront... you see dangers he might not.

Just bring it up. If he chooses his Bro's bad decisions over you? he saves you some time.

countrylemon · 2024-04-17T13:39:46+00:00

How old are you?

CountTheBees · 2024-04-17T14:55:51+00:00

I'm not sure why it's a problem if he dislikes you and/or you dislike him. Can't expect to get along with everyone. He's probably lying to your boyfriend about getting along with you but that hardly makes any difference to anything. If your boyfriend asks you what your opinion of him is you can tell him but otherwise there's no point in mentioning it.

AutoModerator · 2024-04-17T05:26:36+00:00

Title: How to handle being uncertain of one of your man's friends?

Author Difficult-Health-498

Full text: My long term boyfriend has a male friend who I have an uncertain feeling about, and I am seeking some perspective.

For anonymity's sake I will be somewhat vague. The friend has some problematic habits that expose my boyfriend to a lifestyle I do not feel comfortable with. The thing is, some of his other friends / our mutual friends have similar habits but don't give me the same bad feelings that this guy does for some reason. This guy seems a bit pushy with this habit onto my boyfriend in a way I haven't witnessed other friends doing, and also is aware I disapprove of the particulars of this friend's tendencies with the habit.

Now, my boyfriend and this friend also have many shared interests and have gotten quite close in the last few years. I also don't doubt my boyfriends capabilities to stick to his principles and not be influenced into things he doesn't want to do at all. I just feel uncomfortable with this one friend and I also get the vague sense this friend doesn't like me, due to some strange interactions we have (I've been writing this off as just social awkwardness of men, but I cannot shake my uneasy feeling). Again, none of his other friends have ever given me the vibe they secretly dislike me. I've asked my boyfriend if this friend dislikes me, and he reassured me he doesn't and he actually quite likes me. I don't feel convinced and I can't shake this feeling.

What is the best way to handle this? I don't want to be naggy or make my boyfriend feel like I dou t his ability to vett or associate with people of good principle. Should I just keep quiet and wait and see? I obviously am not planning on asking my boyfriend to stop hanging out with this guy or anything like that. I hope I am just being paranoid.

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AnonTheGreat01 · 2024-04-17T13:07:23+00:00

I think you should ask yourself why this is so concerning to you, what is the worst that could happen?

or make my boyfriend feel like I dou t his ability to vett or associate with people of good principle

But you're literally saying you think he is bad at vetting. There's no way you can convey your concerns without implicitly saying he's bad at vetting. Be care/tactful.

You should be honest with your bf, but you should also be honest with yourself and why this guy in particular is such an issue for you, while you also mention he has other friends with similar habits. Could have to do something with him not liking you because you know he knows you don't like him.

I've broken off an LTR with a girl who was in your exact same situation and misjudged/misplayed the situation completely.

You want to avoid being responsible for creating a situation where he has to choose between either of you. Because even if he picks you, he will resent you on some level. Lose-lose.

Jenneapolis · 2024-04-17T14:56:19+00:00

I guess I feel differently than other people - I would say stay out of it. This is is on his paper unless and until it affects you directly.

It sounds like you have already talked to him about it so at this point continuing to bring it up is nagging. He knows where you stand, and again unless this friend does something particular to you, I would drop it.

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Artistic-Physics7598 · 2024-04-17T17:36:40+00:00

Are you getting the “he might be a serial killer and tortures animals in his spare time” vibe?

Or the “he doesn’t like me and might try to convince my boyfriend to leave me“ vibe?

Prudent-Quarter714 · 2024-04-17T11:01:34+00:00

Tell your boyfriend before things get ugly between you too If he truly loves you then he will take what you say into consideration Also it’s always best to just speak your mind specially with your boyfriend

_MarianaTrench · 2024-04-17T06:02:12+00:00

tell him that his friend is gay

Title	How to handle being uncertain of one of your man's friends?
Author	Difficult-Health-498
Upvotes	12
Comments	25
Date	April 17, 2024 5:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1c61wdy/how_to_handle_being_uncertain_of_one_of_your_mans/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-handle-being-uncertain-of-one-of-your-mans.1515398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515398

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