I’m curious about where I’m at in the process. I know I can’t rush it, but I feel like I’ve gone backwards this week, but perhaps it’s just the circumstances.

6-7 months into it.

As far as the process goes, I thought I was doing really well. I slept with someone else for the first time in 23 years, it was weird and honestly hollow (as everyone here describes).

Now seeing all the families out for the weekend having a good time, I am in a pretty deep despair over what I don’t have anymore, my whole family might as well not exist. She has my kids, for lack of a better word, brainwashed to believe I’m a villain in all of this and I can’t talk to any of them. Can’t afford a lawyer so right now I’m in limbo till I save some money.

I don’t know, just a rant I guess. Really sad, and don’t have any one I feel like I can go to. I really wish I could just not give a shit.