Watching my niece and nephew and other kids being raised, I notice how much more supportive we all are of the girls ambitions and emotions. We expect the boy to suck it up while the girls get support. When these girls grow up they'll still feel that men had it easier when it's the opposite.

garbage_raccoon · 2024-05-04T19:06:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that. There's nothing more painful than having your suffering either ignored or used against you like that. Especially by those closest to you. It can honestly feel like like a whole new violation.

I'm right there with you. When I was 10, I was repeatedly molested by a 20 year-old roommate. On one such occasion, my older sister came home early, and walked in while it was happening. She looked us both over, said "you two are gross," and walked out of the house, leaving me alone with him. That did a number on me. When I finally told my mother, she just said "well, now you know how it feels to be a woman." Just zero empathy, from anyone. And people wonder why guys don't bother reporting SA...

When I was 18, he was caught touching a girl, and was immediately arrested. Suddenly, everyone cared. Suddenly, this guy was a big problem that needed to be dealt with at once.

volleyballbeach · 2024-05-04T16:45:11+00:00

It’s incredibly sad how the abuse of boys is not taken seriously enough even in 2024

No-Avocado-533 · 2024-05-04T23:12:38+00:00

There's a contradiction in kind about things these days:

The support that we are so accustomed to giving women WAS because their role in a healthy natalist society needed it. They would absolutely need support from the men in their lives because of what was being expected of them and because in a lot of ways, they were still dependent upon men.

Men were expected to learn to do for themselves and to be independent in a way that women weren't. They were given opportunity that they had to reach for, but this opportunity was reserved for men and men alone.

The issue that we have run into is that we are making men and women compete for the same things with that same mindset that existed in the past when we practiced sexual complementarianism. It's down right awful for men- because we are now expected to compete against women who will be naturally given an advantage over us. But then after it all, we're still supposed to outperform them?

It's dumb, we're setting boys up for failure then blaming them for their failure then acting surprised how resentful men are becoming.

Calm-Cry4094 · 2024-05-05T07:49:02+00:00

I was beaten up when I was a kid, no body helped me.

I should have reported that to teacher but one teacher just say if both fight both will be punished.

As a boy, I didn't understand what to do.

As a man, I know that it's my responsibility to protect my self. But at that time I didn't know.

Of course, in real life, government also do nothing when one guy hurt another. not the corrupt government in my country anyway.

codus571 · 2024-05-05T20:16:04+00:00

So where do you effect change for this? Right here and now. Every man in this sub needs to step up and teach their sons and nephews that they have support in you.

The first step has to start somewhere, and if we have time to come to this sub and post, we have time to teach the young boys in our lives that other men will support them.

I see a lot of bashing of women on this sub, and generally, I don't post or comment. I'm going through a case where my ex-girlfriend assaulted me and threatened to kill me, neglected our son, and was generally an abusive woman. The best support I've gotten during this time has not been from other men . It's been from women. The men in my life have been dismissive, one even said that I must have been a pussy if I didn't hit my ex back.

My therapist, a woman, is one of the strongest advocates in this area for men's mental health and domestic violence awareness. Male therapists and psychologists don't advocate anywhere near the level she does. Before her, several male therapists essentially told me that I needed to be tough and strong and that I was sitting a bad example for my son by being emotional. That is where our problems lie.

That's unacceptable. Men have to advocate for men, or the effect will never be enough. My son is learning what it means to be truly strong. And that means admitting when he needs help. It means knowing that he doesn't have to suffer in silence just because other men tell him to suck it up. Because that's who told me to suck it up when I was growing up. Other men, not the women in my life.

This isn't intended to bash on anyone here. Something needs to change as a whole for the next generations. That means education for boys and girls on how to co-exist and grow together and support each other as that is what we should do. Boys should know that it's okay to show their emotions and grow from the process. Girls should know that men have emotions as well, and those emotions don't make us weak.

pissed_off_elbonian · 2024-05-05T10:55:28+00:00

Yep. I have boys, I try my damn best to comfort when they are upset.

AwesomeBro_exe · 2024-05-05T16:20:54+00:00

The worst part is that if you were a girl or attractive, they would have saved you even if you did also do bad things. That's a part of the pain of it all.

Grand-Juggernaut6937 · 2024-05-08T01:04:10+00:00

The pygmalion effect is a tragically real thing. If you care about men’s rights look it up and learn how it works, and start treating your fellow men better.

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