Hello all,

Thanks for reading. Some context: I moved to the city I’m in now about a year and a half ago to be w my partner. I’ve never had problems making friends even tho I’m more of an introvert and don’t like seeing people more than once a week, but because of school or work I always attracted extroverts and in general always have a nice social life. Because I now work from home it’s been a lot harder to make friends and this past year I was so focused on work, adjusting to a new city, and my new relationship that it wasn’t a priority till I became p miserable.

My fiancé introduced me to his ex nutritionist in the hopes that we’d make friends. at first I was super excited. We started texting a lot (which I associated w simply getting to know ea other), and saw ea other a few times. She’s a nice girl but I feel like we are not very compatible. We come from different cultures and given her job she’s extremely health driven, and won’t even have a single drink and judges people who do. That’s fine, I don’t care, but w this I mean that she is that kind of judgemental person. For instance I like to take certain supplements for sleep, drink w gfs or w my fiancé sometimes, maybe get a little tan in the summer, idk dumb normal stuff like that and she’s just judgemental ental towards it all in general. Her boyfriend is the same.

What kills me most is that I’m quite busy on my life projects in general and just don’t wanna be texting all day or be on my phone, especially during the week (I’d much rather do better things w my free time, ie read a book, chill tf out, go on a walk etc), but I guess she has wayyy more free time and is ALWAYS on her phone, to the point that she texts me daily whether thru messages or sharing stuff on social media which I mostly ignore at this point. The messages are harder to ignore though. And worst of all, it’s such superficial things. I love beauty and taking of my looks and do a few cosmetic things here and there, but I 100% don’t want to be talking about these things all the time. It’s also terrible for your mental health and I already have a history of dysmorphia and just don’t want to think/talk about my looks more than I naturally do.

All she talks about is stuff like this. Oh you look like X celebrity, oh if you lose a little body fat you could look like this (I go to the gym and she gives unsolicited trainer/nutrionist advice), oh what plastic surgery should I do to my face, does this color look on me etc etc.It’s all she talks about. She’s not the most attractive girl and is clearly insecure, but she’s constantly like oh I’m so hot. Sure girl that’s why you need to text about it. I’m at rhe point where just getting a notification from her annoys me to no end. Sometimes I’ll go days or even a week without replying only to return to 30+ substance-less messages from her. What does this add to my life? Literally nothing.

However she is a good girl in general, is very RP oriented which is so hard to find and I’ve been burned by friends in the past because I didn’t think like them. Unlike the girls I go out w now who might not even live here in some years, I feel like she’s more of a reliable friend to have. However I don’t see why she needs to text me sm especially when we barely even see ea other. We also went on a trip together where I met one of her friends who lives in another country and you could tell she’s clearly annoyed by this girl for the same reasons.

On one side she seems like a good, like-minded friend to have (regarding relationships etc) on paper but in real life just seeing daily messages from her drives me insane, to the point that I just fantasize w blocking her. She does give good relationship advice and is a good ear to vent to when I very rarely wanna tell her something, as usually it’s just her coming to me at this point. Btw she has no other friends at this point (except that other girl in another country) and told me how she had one other friend who blocked her out of the blue, and I’m starting to understand why as mean as that is.

Is this worth keeping only bc shes “RP” even tho she drains my energy and I don’t even feel like we have that much in common in terms of fun/conversations to have? Bc part of me thinks life is too short to put up with this.

Thanks!

Edit: I have tried to drop hints that I don’t like to talk about certain things and w so much frequency by simply taking very long to respond to the point that she’ll text me again to “check in” w me, and she just doesn’t take the hints. She acts like it’s all the same to her and continues to Bombard me. So it really feels like it’s gonna require ne telling her this upfront somehow