Why is it wrong to want to be a chad?

HelenHavok · 2024-05-29T01:27:44+00:00

I think it’s fine to be ethically promiscuous or to want to be desired by a lot of people. Making it your whole personality or using it as a cover/excuse for mental health issues is bad news though. And I would strongly suggest never using the term Chad, the same way I would suggest never using alpha/beta male. These terms are major red flags to people that you’ve been pilled and will pretty much immediately hinder your efforts.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-05-29T01:42:21+00:00

Why is it wrong to want to be a chad?
I know people here will say that chads don't exist but I have seen it with my own eyes and it feels more like people say that to try to talk guys here off a ledge.
I see people say it's misogynistic to want to have options and the ability to date around and I don't get it. I don't get why it's wrong to be able to get the romantic/sexual interactions you desire.

Are there people here saying this stuff I'm confused? Obviously there are people who are attractive to women who you'd call chads. Obviously it isn't necessarily bad to want to be one of these people. And its okay to want to do the casual dating thing as long as you are being ethical but maybe more conservative people might disagree.

It's not like chads are forcing women into things, the ones doing that are incels.

I don't see any evidence incels are sexually assaulting women at a higher rate than the general population. Most of them have very little contact with women.

When you're 23 and you've realized no matter what you've done, no woman has ever seen you as enough to date and no matter what you do it doesn't ever happen.

So there are two cognitive distortions here. The first is fortune telling where you are predicting you will never be able to date no matter what you do without sufficient evidence. I strongly doubt they have actually tried everything. The second is generalization where you assume no women would want to date you and making a universal assumption about an entire gender.

I don't think it's a normal experience to have one like this and not want change and I feel like people here demonize having any negative feeling about it and not being satisified being ugly and alone.

Its normal and healthy to feel bad about struggling with dating. The problem is when these feelings are so extreme that they are actually causing mental health issues, social issues, and often causing people to prematurely give up instead of going to therapy. And I see so many people hating on themselves or feeling terrible about things they can't change like their height but how is this helping them? There are good strategies for handling negative emotions and to do better in dating instead of sitting around moping about being a helpless victim.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2024-05-29T01:22:34+00:00

I see people say it's misogynistic to want to have options and the ability to date around and I don't get it.

I haven’t seen anyone here say this. Who is saying this?

treatment-resistant- · 2024-05-29T02:02:35+00:00

You're deep in the hole man. There's a big gap between demonising any negative feelings and accepting the hopeless death cult hatred of incels.

I think most people would like to be attractive and have options and be romantically and sexually successful, but only a few people get so hung up not having this they fall down an incel/blackpill hole.

It might be helpful to explain a bit what you mean about most women being sexually desirable. This idea that only a small percentage of men are desirable and there's a significant gender split is not evident in data like the census, sexual experience studies etc.

WWhiMM · 2024-05-29T01:46:43+00:00

To me, you are describing two separate things.
There's nothing wrong with being likable, attractive, sociable, etc. I will even say it's good to be like that, it can bring happiness to other people's lives and to your own life.
But it's a problem if someone is beating themself up because they aren't charismatic enough to get what they want out of people. Like, the dehumanization of others and the self-loathing shame, it's no good.
Self-improvement is great, but you have to approach it with genuine love in your heart. Love for others and love for yourself.

absolutebeginners · 2024-05-29T02:16:21+00:00

Nobody said that was wrong

SufficientDot4099 · 2024-05-29T02:57:12+00:00

It's not bad morally but it's not good for your mind to aspire for something solely for the external validation. And it's not good to compare yourself to men you think are chads. Your validation has to come from yourself. What women or other men or society thinks about you does not determine whether or not you are a cool and good person. You don't need to be a Chad to find women to connect with romantically. You have to stop placing value on society's idea of what a Chad is and be your own Chad.

Title	Why is it wrong to want to be a chad?
Author	dogickker
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	May 29, 2024 12:27 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1d2z5oi/why_is_it_wrong_to_want_to_be_a_chad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/why-is-it-wrong-to-want-to-be-a-chad.1519869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519869

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