I understand many here are going through a lot of pain and I definitely can appreciate that - I have gone and still endured a fair share of pain, but want to move on as fast as possible. I want to ask Divorced Dads here that have been somewhat “fortunate” in this whole ordeal and might have a not-so-negative situation similar to mine how are/would they think about my dilema. Good problem to have I know, but it also means that I am moving on, and better days will come for men here that are in depression and desperation state. So.. here it is:

I am one of those Divorced Dads living near a major US city where I go in three days a week and work from home the rest of the week.

Before divorce two years ago I had grand plans (lol) of the family house/burb life, good school for the kiddos etc.. all of that “dream” went down the drain when the ex- decided to destroy the family. We are amicable and coparent the kids. Their mother lives in the burbs at a house near their school.

I am still renting half way between their school and my commute to work in the city where I have to go for a demanding job.

Over the last two years I was able to get my stuff together and the ex- has been rather supportive (noticed by her actions). We both have an unwritten/unspoken understanding that the kids need both parents to be stable.

So the good problem / dilema is: I am trying to decide if I buy a place in the burbs (there’s really no rental market) or continue renting but while maintaining a sustainable distant to my kids’ school, decent commute to the city and potential dating life. Am dating someone that is definitely girlfriend material but herself has full custody of the kids and lives 1h/1h30 drive away :/ … i don’t want to be house poor, but hate buying something that is not really comfortable for me and the kids … also don’t want to continue with the rental (sunk cost) that is likely to increase too if I move out close to the city/for a better social life.

How have other Dads in their 40s navigated through these while being caught up in the divorce ordeal? (Divorce was never in the plans, so it’s not easy to find a new (single dad) life roadmap)