Seeing nd being around my kids is such a blessing, nd they lift my spirits from the depths of hell where I am on days I'm alone.

I make sure they're day us packed with things to do, and always have some time to just enjoy each other and make jokes and talk. In between all the silly antics and fun.. there's a part of me missing.. a part that brings me right back to wishing she was there.

I cannot...for the life of me... stop missing her. I don't feel the same, and I don't like what this future looks like. I dont.. I'm not looking forward to seeing my kids every other day and weekend.. I'm not looking forward to being sent photos of them doing things with her while I'm the outsider looking into my family that I'm no longer a part of..

And I'm not looking forward to the feeling of being replaced if she so chooses to start dating (unless she already has) 😔

I feel so alone... and the one thing that made me feel fulfilled in life is turning into a dream I no longer can reach..