Conflict Escalation

RedPillJax · 2015-09-03T13:12:35+00:00

Getting on a fight on the road? So, road rage?

Dude, I was a strip club bouncer for years. Fighting over something so trivial as someone 'disrespecting' your friend is the lamest shit I've ever heard. You only get your fists up if you or someone you love is in genuine danger. Every time you fight you risk getting killed or maimed, killing or maiming someone else, or spending the rest of your life in a small jail cell with a 400 pound bunkmate named Bubba who sure thinks you've got a pretty mouth.

Pack loyalty? Fuck that. I don't associate myself with loose cannons who feel the need to brawl. A man who's confident enough in himself can't be thrown into a blind rage by the words of someone he barely knows.

To answer your question - should you be the one to escalate things physically?

Sure. Just tell Bubba to go extra-easy on your butthole after chili day.

JeffsRP · 2015-09-03T02:04:32+00:00

Can you fight?

Do you have control of your emotions?

Bleeding out on the floor of a dark bar is not alpha.

Not letting a fight start is the fastest way to finish it.

trippypatagonia1 · 2015-09-03T04:12:49+00:00

Bro the best thing to do is to just walk away. Let your friend handle his own deal, unless he gets hit of course, then you jump into help him. Maintain frame especially if a douchebag gets in your face, then just walk away. Never start the physical contact. Only use physical contact in self-defense.

fnordsnord · 2015-09-03T04:29:58+00:00

As a boy, the consequences of fighting are usually small. Both opponents lack mass, technique, and usually the bat-shit insane hate necessary for really tearing up an opponent. So I don't sweat it when there are occasional busted lips and black eyes among boys.

As we grow into men, our strength, mass, technique, and capacity for bat-shit insane hate grows. And so does the chance of getting hurt or hurting someone if you chose to raise your hands. There are better authorities than I around to tell you how easy it is to injure or kill someone, just in a fistfight. And if you're like me and prone to grabbing furniture, it's even worse.

The consequences of winning a fight are almost as bad as losing one. You can count on assault charges, battery charges, and worse.

I met one dude on here a while back whose end result was: banned from the club, dumped by the girl he was fighting over, and a couple of broken knuckles that took weeks to heal. And he "won." I wasn't ever clear on what his prize was. It seemed to me everything he was fighting about went away.

Yeah - there are things worth fighting over. But "fair" fights are the stuff of fiction. If you raise your hands, you need to be in it to win it, or you might just die.

99% of the time, putting up your hands is the wrong answer, because once that happens, there is usually no win.

M3_Drifter · 2015-09-03T14:01:53+00:00

If you are attacked and defend yourself successfully, you win.

If you are in a verbal fight and you escalate to physical (because your opponent is better with words or has a stronger frame), you have lost even before throwing the first punch.

But consider for a moment, what is "winning"? Is it important to prove my superiority to some drunk idiot? Fuck no. He is utterly insignificant and cannot influence my world in any way. Except that he may hurt me in a fight. Even if I "win", I may go to jail. He might have a knife, gun or some other weapon that could kill me. If I am dead or injured, I lose, even if he is worse off.

Clearly, the easiest way to win is to not be in a fight. If someone wants to fight you, you try to deescalate, if that doesn't work, you run away. If you cannot run away, then you fight.

NumeriusAelius · 2015-09-03T15:50:13+00:00

Whenever I see threads like this, this scene always come to mind: https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=dEkAlJ1mZbA&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DxNToJwKE4F0%26feature%3Dshare

I currently compete in MMA and I have wrestled in high school and college. I'm very confident I could handle myself in a fight with just about anyone. I also have my CCW and carry because I won't fight outside the ring EVER. It doesn't matter to me what people call me, say to me, or disrespect me. I carry for the sole purpose of ending a situation in which my life or a loved one's life is in IMMEDIATE danger. Anything less than that is no reason to get worked up.

Title	Conflict Escalation
Author	adapt2evolve
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	September 3, 2015 1:29 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3jfoj1/conflict_escalation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/conflict-escalation.153326 https://theredarchive.com/post/153326

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