Is is possible to restore heated passion in a relationship? Maybe some mystery? Anyone who succeeded?

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-11-08T13:18:59+00:00

Ambiance, environment, and quality time are some of your best friends here. I've heard two dates a week as a recommendation for married couples - maybe you and your husband could each plan more.

If your connection is super strong and you're already very happy with each other, I think spending more time in intimate and romantic settings is a stronger bet than investing more in personal interests and hobbies. LD advice is going to work best for women who are stuck in a negative feedback loop and need to start a positive one. That being said, I think LD's advice about sending heart messages might be what's most applicable to you.

My parents recently took a trip to Italy, and my mom confessed similar fears to me before she left. Those fears were gone by the time she returned. A lot of the reason why the heat fades is because the environment changes. Intimate settings, good listening, and genuine fascination with the other person helps embody the atmosphere of those early days.

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2024-11-08T14:45:43+00:00

It sounds like your relationship has a strong foundation and there aren't any serious underlying issues. That's very important. It sounds like the problem is that you've both gotten into a bit of a rut. It's a very easy trap to fall into.

What's great is that you've recognized the problem and have taken responsibility for your part. I think you have a good plan moving forward.

The only other thing I can suggest (if you haven't already) is that you also find a way to reintroduce playfulness into your relationship. I'm not at all suggesting anything that might be irresponsible. What I am suggesting is that you make time to have fun together. I think that can also help reignite the passion

CrotaLikesRomComs · 2024-11-08T14:39:09+00:00

I (M35), have been red pilled in the past year, with diet and relationships. I just stumbled upon this sub a couple days ago. I listened to the book “The surrendered wife” on Spotify last night and this book absolutely nails it. I was getting aroused sexually listening to her suggest to women about being vulnerable and letting your man lead. Men are visual creatures and this book for women was doing it for me.

Good men are givers by nature, make him feel like the fucking man, it will bring passion. Also clean appropriate diet and lifting help with sexual health as well.

zaftig_stig · 2024-11-08T20:40:03+00:00

Feeling free to fart is literally one of the first signs of true vulnerability and intimacy in a relationship.

Men get aroused and turned on when they realize we are turned on by them. Our passion will ignite their passion.

Did you ever initiate in your sex life?

Would you consider letting him have some transition time to wind down when he returns home from work and when he’s ready, greeting him with a very passionate kiss?

Does he get to have some transition time when he’s off work and coming home? Ask him if he would like that. Not enough couples allow each other that transition time after work before engaging back in their personal lives. It’s a thoughtful observation and consideration for the other.

Maybe over dinner surprise him with some very strong eye contact.

Also making sure that any affection or passionate kissing doesn’t automatically turn into sex. I mean it’s nice if it does but on both sides sometimes there can be a pressure that’s felt.

Also, Esther Prell’s work on the erotic which sounds naughty, but really it isn’t especially when you think of it and then the confines of marriage is really educational. Passion is so much more than sex. Naïvely equated passion to sex and they’re completely different things.

Also, sex is so much more than just intercourse

I bet he doesn’t mind seeing you with your hair in a bun and wearing his underwear. I would almost bet that he likes to see you wearing his underwear, but I don’t doubt that there are times that he would like to see you glow up for an evening as a surprise for him only.

I suspect he likes to see you wearing his underwear. It might be a mark of pride on his part that you feel comfortable and safe being vulnerable like that in front of him.

Men’s instincts are to procreate, protect, and provide, in that order. He’ll have a sense of pride that he’s been successful in doing that with you.

AutoModerator · 2024-11-08T11:54:39+00:00

Title: Is is possible to restore heated passion in a relationship? Maybe some mystery? Anyone who succeeded?

Author Peachy_Mulberry2221

Full text: Me and my husband has been together for around 8 years. I love him immensely. He is my best friend, soulmate, my man, everything.

While our relationship makes me feel safe (especially after we talked about this "problem"/change together) I do miss some of that heated passion from the beginning. How he would look at me in awe, the close intimacy of prolonged eye contact, deeply wanting each other in bed etc. Stronger passion with other words.

We are passionate about our relationship and each other, but it's just not as "heated" as in the beginning of our relationship. I know there's a difference between long term love and that early affection. But still I want to do what I can for us to have the best relationship possible long term. I want to be with him for life, and I want that to be a passionate life, not just a luke-warm one. At least not all the time. I love Laura Doyles the empowered wife.

I do think I have made the misstake of becoming too comfortable. Like always-walking-around-in-his-underwear-because-it's-more-comfortable-with-my-hair-in-a-bun-comfortable. I didn't fart around him the first year or two of our relationship, but he then begged me to start doing it lol because he wanted me to be comfortable. And he felt that it was weird that I didn't. While that was nice of him I feel like maybe it's was a misstake to agree...?

I also feel like I (and we) have become couch potatoes. While I love cuddling on the couch with my man with a nice movie or relaxing on my own to my fave tv-series I do feel like I need to get into more active hobbies by my self but also going on dates/do more activities together. Our sexlife has become a bit boring and sparse, long time in between. But great when we do.

We have talked about it which made me feel more reassured. He noticed the change in our relationship too, but assured me he still wants me, loves me and wants to be with me. He said he thinks it's just what happens when a relationship is long term. We do still have loads of chemistry, laugh a lot together etc. So our relationship is still great. I just miss the passion a little bit.

It was nice to be reassured because it at first made me a bit insecure that he didn't touch me and initiate as much anymore. I was afraid he maybe felt attracted to someone else.

My plan is doing a personal "glow up" for both me myself and my relationships sake. Self care, new lingerie, care about my beauty, hobbies and passions more etc. I'm hoping this will re-ignite some of that passion.

Have anyone succeeded with this? Any advice?

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kateballe · 2024-11-08T16:50:34+00:00

New hobbies and a bright attitude will take you far. Consider meditation and mindfulness, and listening to not just him but your HEART more :) live life as a fun and interesting woman and not just a perfect wife, you will catch his eye naturally!

throwawaytalks25 · 2024-11-16T15:30:12+00:00

We are passionate about our relationship and each other, but it's just not as "heated" as in the beginning of our relationship. I know there's a difference between long term love and that early affection.

Just to clarify, you are saying your relationship is overall good, just minus that new relationship spark, correct?

I do think I have made the misstake of becoming too comfortable. Like always-walking-around-in-his-underwear-because-it's-more-comfortable-with-my-hair-in-a-bun-comfortable. I didn't fart around him the first year or two of our relationship, but he then begged me to start doing it lol because he wanted me to be comfortable. And he felt that it was weird that I didn't. While that was nice of him I feel like maybe it's was a misstake to agree...?

Why do you feel like that was a mistake, especially if he really wanted it?

We have talked about it which made me feel more reassured. He noticed the change in our relationship too, but assured me he still wants me, loves me and wants to be with me. He said he thinks it's just what happens when a relationship is long term. We do still have loads of chemistry, laugh a lot together etc. So our relationship is still great. I just miss the passion a little bit.

Enjoy chill evenings on the couch, but maybe add in a weekly date night and look at an activity/hobby you could do.

Have anyone succeeded with this? Any advice?

Yes, but we came from a place of our relationship being in shambles.

I personally think a good relationship is a balance of comfortable and passionate. Safety and vulnerability don't negate passion, and passion can't exist as a constant and that is ok.

On a personal level, I can provide a couple examples.... the other night we were just laying in bed talking and the conversation ended up being extremely raw and painful regarding past mistakes in our relationship. I ended up being incredibly vulnerable and crying (which I loathe to an extent it is hard to put into words). We both shared a lot of honesty with each other, deeply bonded, and ended up having sex. This to me is safety, vulnerability, honesty, and deep intimacy.

Last night I surprised him with some new lingerie and role play....it was absolutely passionate and mind-blowing!

The best relationship imo are a combination of both types of love, sex, and connection.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-11-08T17:00:47+00:00

I didn't fart around him the first year or two of our relationship, but he then begged me to start doing it lol because he wanted me to be comfortable.

I like my girls to be comfortable around me. I’ve never asked a single one of them to fart in front of me, though. That seems odd.

doing a personal "glow up"

Yes. I would include some yoga or Pilates or whatever ladies due to tone up.

new lingerie

Double yes. If you know his taste in lingerie on you, go with that. If not, remember, guys like “sets.” it appears to our subconscious desire for symmetry. I have yet to meet a man who hates thigh highs.

If you know his love language, emphasize it. If you don’t, increase the amount of physical touch that you give him both in sexual and non-sexual ways.

Good luck.

Title	Is is possible to restore heated passion in a relationship? Maybe some mystery? Anyone who succeeded?
Author	Peachy_Mulberry2221
Upvotes	20
Comments	16
Date	November 8, 2024 11:54 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1gmgs8n/is_is_possible_to_restore_heated_passion_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-is-possible-to-restore-heated-passion-in-a.1535063 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535063

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