Criticizing the idea that patriarchy hurts men too

We've all heard this at one time or another. Men's advantages, as well as their disadvantages, apparently all stem from a power structure called "patriarchy."

It's a quick way for feminists to absolve women for the part they play in toxic gender dynamics, and to excuse what those in power (especially women) do with their power when men end up disadvantaged. Everything that happens to you is your fault, even if I am the one doing it to you.

Here's a question we must ask: Are there any other power structures that hurt the same groups of people they privilege?

I've never heard a Marxist say, "capitalism hurts capitalists, too" because it doesn't. It makes them filthy rich while their workers go hungry.

I've never heard a gay rights activist say, "heteronormativity hurts heterosexuals, too" because that statement makes zero sense and doesn't explain the world we live in.

I'm going to go out on a limb here assume BLM typically doesn't go around saying, "white supremacy hurts whites, too" because that would not make sense, either.

I am sincerely open to hearing arguments that any of those aforementioned power systems disadvantage the same people we're told they benefit. But I don't expect to encounter a robust argument for that position.

No thinking person reasons this way, as it would actually weaken their own position. For instance, saying "heteronormativity hurts heterosexuals" distracts from the grievances of the group being materially disadvantaged and undermines the idea that the power system is centered on lifting up straight people and subjugating gay people. It wouldn't make sense for a gay rights activist to think like that unless they were doing something obviously hurtful to heterosexuals and were looking for an excuse to say, "Now look what you made me do."