If the secret to dating is being present, in the moment, how can you do that while actively trying to date?

TvIsSoma · 2024-12-06T03:59:37+00:00

Keep busy pursuing your hobbies, interests, and personal goals. Go out and make friends. Expanding your social circle naturally creates more opportunities to meet people, including potential partners. Remind yourself that you just met this person. Know you are attractive and interesting. Remember that a healthy relationship complements a fulfilling life, it doesn’t complete it. Relationships will trigger you. Any time you get triggered, try to see why. Does it remind you of something from your childhood? Sit with your feelings. It’s not wrong to be attached to someone, but this should come slowly with time and be mutual. Go into dates with curiosity and an open mind, but avoid placing excessive expectations on any single interaction. See it as an opportunity to connect with someone new and enjoy the experience. Rejection is not about you, it’s about energies not aligning. Put the right energy out there by being genuine, kind, and open to connection. Focus on getting to know others and sharing your authentic self. Be patient, your person will come. Cultivate a secure attachment style where you’re comfortable being vulnerable while also respecting your own needs and boundaries.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-12-06T07:21:52+00:00

Don’t get too fixated on approaching an attractive girl or on a date.

You need to stretch, warm up. Talk to people regardless of their gender or their level of attraction (ugly, skinny, fat, pretty, old, young, whatever). It’s a good moment for you to practice how to be present, to really listen and interact with your counterpart.

I remember a guy asked me how to approach a girl and I pointed at a random girl and he said “nah, she’s ugly.” I feel like I wanna slap his face. I was like, you don’t even have any skills to approach an ugly girl, and you expect to date a hot one? Man not only you’re stupid you’re delusional too.

epimpstyle · 2024-12-06T09:35:03+00:00

Do you have the experience in your life and enough conversation skills and improvisation to let the conversation flow naturally?

If you do, don't bother... if you don't... well... there are two ways to get these results. One is a long method because you have to actually change your life to have experiences, to be a social person, to talk to everyone.... it will take years (it is easier to say than actually do it). The other one is faster because all you have to do is learn some routines/scripts/gambits and whenever you talk to a girl you will have enough things to say for 5-10 minutes even if you suck at social skills. With these little "tricks" in about a month you become experienced enough to create your own stories and gambits... it will be that moment when you can tell that all you need to do is to be present and the conversation flaws naturally.

Dandys3107 · 2024-12-06T11:16:13+00:00

Usually it comes with experience. When you get use to variety of interaction scenarios, handle strong emotions and body language, realise that it may go into variety of directions without even much of your influence, you are getting much more relaxed and therefore your brain works better and you exert confident body language and you can focus on enoying the moment, feeling the mood and steering the interaction in desired direction. Don't expect it to be perfect at the beginning, it's nearly impossible. Throw yourself into the unknown, get more opportunities to interact with women, process the feedback and improve your game. You can't really learn how to do it properly with just theory, you need to experience. It's life, not school test.

miyass_miyass · 2024-12-06T07:53:57+00:00

Being present and in the moment isn’t strictly necessary. Focusing too much on your inner game is a trap since thinking about not being in your head just makes you more in your head. Just go out and do your approaches — you’ll notice you’ll naturally get more relaxed over time

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-12-07T01:45:16+00:00

meditation, beginners breath meditation, I might talk out my ass here but it might have the same effect as alcohol, although very little, breathing is powerful man,

Electronic_d0cter · 2024-12-07T06:17:21+00:00

Have a life more interesting than dating. At this point I talk to every woman like I want absolutely nothing from them because I'm trying to become a professional fighter and unless I get the sense someone will genuinely enrich my life I don't wanna talk to them

estebanxalonso · 2024-12-07T07:46:35+00:00

Detach from the outcome! Focus on qualifying her—women are drawn to working for the attention of a man they genuinely like or desire. Remember, you are enough. See yourself as the prize. If you don’t feel like the prize yet, channel your energy into becoming the man you want to be. Once you become that version of yourself, you’ll notice a shift—the script will flip. You’ll feel comfortable in your own skin, and women will take notice. From there, it’s all about escalation and moving things forward. She’ll be eager for it to happen, dropping hints and cooperating effortlessly.

Title	If the secret to dating is being present, in the moment, how can you do that while actively trying to date?
Author	Adorable_Zombie_6959
Upvotes	22
Comments	12
Date	December 6, 2024 3:32 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1h7s3yj/if_the_secret_to_dating_is_being_present_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-the-secret-to-dating-is-being-present-in-the.1537742 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537742

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