Feeling uncomfortable around women i find pretty

refreshingface · 2024-12-28T19:11:48+00:00

Look up exposure therapy or systematic desensitization.

The only answer I can give is to expose yourself to a lot of these people.

Feel free to mess up, stumble on your words, make a fool of yourself.

Eventually you realize that they are just people.

ovnf · 2024-12-28T18:21:31+00:00

the best advice about that I read on reddit here: imagine she just farted a reeeeaaaally long one.......... still nervous because of her hotness? .)

MeeloP · 2024-12-28T19:39:54+00:00

Talk to them the way you talk to your best friend.

Dandys3107 · 2024-12-28T19:48:18+00:00

It's pretty standard thing of our genetical conditioning, to feel shaky about possibly screwing the opportunity to get with very attractive sexual partner. If you are aware of that, you can overcome this subconscious reaction by doing exactly these things that you are afraid of. Control your breath, stay close, look girl in the eyes, smile. Don't figure out anything fancy, behave just like with a normal girl or maybe even less concerned. After some time of practice you will realise that your nervousness and discrimination have drastically lowered. We are human, we can change our patterns to significant extent, if we stay conscious and dedicated.

epimpstyle · 2024-12-28T20:39:44+00:00

You are not alone! Just think for a minute and acknowledge that when you see a cute girl, you want something from her. Yes, you do... subconsciously (deep down inside) you want her to be your GF (so you want her friendship), at this stage you're putting her above you.

It's that "needy" attitude that means if you do everything nice and perfect, maybe the girl will like you. This is how I understand this effect. The pressure of doing everything perfect is so huge that your brain give you another option, it makes you uncomfortable to approach the woman so that way if you don't approach her you don't need to be the perfect guy and your brain is happy that you avoided to put him in such a position. Just think about to the fact that you feel uncomfortable around cute girls, but at the same time other people are happy to find a cute woman because it is an opportunity for them to talk to a nice woman. You see? Different mindset.

Why is that? Because you want something from them as I told you above, but the rest of the guys don't need anything from those women, they just want to see if those women are friendly. This is the way I personally think when I see a cute girl: "Wow, she is cute, now let;s see, is she also a friendly person? Let's go and find out". Instead of wanting something from her, I just turn it into a simple curiosity, so I talk to her because I want to see if she is a friendly person. Of course, if I see that she is open to talk, "yes, she is friendly...now I will take her number", otherwise if there is a rejection, I say "okay, she is not a friendly person". This attitude works wonders for me.

Prestigious_Ad_9013 · 2024-12-28T19:22:32+00:00

Good question! We remind ourselves everyone is human but our desire can elevate people above. You can tell your logical self ANYTHING rational but getting your heart to follow can be hard.

Find a way to connect your inner desire to an action (indirect conversation/flirting?) in the moment.

It's crazy when you see examples of literature that women find sexy. The way men say things that detach her MIND from her body... you speaking is literally a toy to her. Learn how to play with it and it plays with her. The real world is boring. Don't be literal

It's a mind game but definitely experience helps

Fickle-Mammoth7580 · 2024-12-28T19:39:01+00:00

welcome to legacy

nothing32768 · 2024-12-28T22:20:44+00:00

imho "good" eye contact is overrated. it's normal to shy away from pretty girls. there could be many explanations, not necessarily your self confidence. for example, pretty girls usually know they are pretty and expect to dominate guys using all the weapons they have. they need this in order to overcompensate for certain lacks. you can see it in some of them's eyes, they play some pretty arrogant games and they stink of expectations and preconceived ideas.

i'm 100% confident there are some really pretty girls out there that you would be comfortable making "good" eye contact with. maybe they don't have long nails and don't go to the salon and aren't tan in the winter, maybe they don't wear tons of makeup, maybe they read a lot, maybe they have a weird side, a truly wild side, maybe a bit untamed or more than a bit, maybe they're feminists, maybe they're bisexual, etc etc

now about this "good" eye contact. in my experience it's very cool to not make consistent eye contact with people. just look at their face in general, at the tree behind them, the place between the eyes, wherever, and save the actual eye contact for when you're punctuating what you're saying, or when you want to check something with them, or when they say something that makes an impression in some way, or when you first see each other, when you say goodbye, etc. if you're confident in yourself you won't care if you make "good" eye contact. it's just your body reacting, trust in your body. it's ok to be selective about your eye contact, why see into everyone's soul anyways? there's a reason we don't get comfortable with everyone, not everyone is good for us. trust the mechanisms, your nervous system has evolved for many many many years.

another reason it may be hard to look at some people's eyes could be that they have some pretty screwed up inner world. their eyes are hard for a reason, don't insist. maybe it takes time for their gaze to soften, maybe they need to get to know you first before they really let you in. don't push by trying to make eye contact, it just adds tension. be ok with your eye contact, trust your eyes more. let them not look and be ok with dancing eyes. you get more flies with honey, so to speak. a little distance may draw them in.

No-Preference8767 · 2024-12-29T02:08:39+00:00

I'm usually scared that i have to act differently to keep their company. Which is partially true but I'd rather be myself and lose them then try and be prim and proper while walking on eggshells all the time.

When it comes to eye contact I'm " bad " at it but I usually tell them why I'm not looking at them instead of trying to play it cool

drkWater · 2024-12-29T14:48:23+00:00

Read “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” for mindset change.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2024-12-29T20:26:26+00:00

Any uncomfortable situation can be dealt with by doing progressive desenticization. Just start with small tasks like saying hi, asking for directions etc, then up the ante and get more direct once you're comfortable.

punktfan1 · 2024-12-31T16:18:13+00:00

Ever heard picture them naked? It’s wonderful advice for this. Once your imagination starts going, then you’ll definitely look “happy to see her”. Then simply proceed from there, seeing the “man downstairs” will send a shockwave through her and raise your chances by a lot. (Not recommended for men on the smaller side, if you fit, I would suggest finding her opinion on oral, depending size, that might be a great alternative 👍🏼

minotabus · 2024-12-31T16:49:32+00:00

Read the book " No more Mr nice guy" ❤️

Existing-Big-3039 · 2024-12-28T20:05:12+00:00

I don't blame you. Women are scary people.

Title	Feeling uncomfortable around women i find pretty
Author	Empty-Transition5933
Upvotes	62
Comments	24
Date	December 28, 2024 6:07 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hobdhz/feeling_uncomfortable_around_women_i_find_pretty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feeling-uncomfortable-around-women-i-find-pretty.1539749 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539749

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