My husband planned a family trip and now he's not coming

coconut-crybaby · 2025-01-06T00:42:12+00:00

Honestly, you’re not wrong for being upset. I would also be upset. But assuming that you trust and know that him cancelling is legitimate, and also that your FIL will be reasonably helpful and it will be comfortable for you travel with him (for me, I would be fine traveling alone with my FIL and recently did on a 6 hour drive with 1 of my kids… but some other family I wouldn’t want to travel alone with, and if you’re uncomfortable with your FIL for whatever reasons, I think that changes things.)

But also… consider that your husband is missing a trip he wanted to go on because he is providing for you and your children. My husband missed a lot of things that I wish he could enjoy with us. He missed that stuff so that we could enjoy it. Same for my father when I was a child. That’s just how it goes. It’s part of life with kids in this society. It doesn’t mean it isn’t sad or hard. And it doesn’t actually mean you have to go on this trip — perhaps cancelling and booking something more rejuvenating would be better? Like a trip to visit your in-laws or your parents, or perhaps good friends where you can bring the children. Or even somewhere more local to you like a hotel with a pool or a hotel/resort for families. Or you stay home and your husband gets a local hotel to work at.

I do think you should really strongly consider if the trip is doable enough without him. It may be harder, it may be less enjoyable, it may be different than you imagined. But will it be bad? After the fact, will you regret it? Will you be so burnt out and resentful that you should’ve just cancelled?? Or is it perhaps possible you’d have a good time, get to know your FIL better, make memories with your children in a new place, and explore a new place— even if it looks different than you anticipated?

If not, then tell him you can’t do it.

MedicalHeron6684 · 2025-01-06T00:39:01+00:00

“I can’t” belongs here. If you would not enjoy the trip, don’t go. It sounds like he wants some privacy to pursue his work. Can he go away (like to a hotel or AirBnB locally) to get it?

Ok_Outside149 · 2025-01-06T00:38:38+00:00

That’s.. mean. At the very least can you get a friend/one of YOUR family members to come instead of FIL?

sodarnclever · 2025-01-06T01:03:12+00:00

OP what country is it to?

You will all be out less money if you do not go, as it is likely that you will be spending something while there- for souvenirs or other things.

But, it sounds as though arrangements have been made by him to help you address your travel anxiety ( you will have another adult there) and it sounds like you acknowledge that the work he needs to stay behind and so it life changing and career changing…

As anxious as you may feel, o think you should embrace the trip and challenge yourself to travel, make memories with your kids and have a great time. You guys can write him postcards while you are away and video chat. It’s not likely that he is happy to be missing the trip, no need to make him more stressed over your anxiety as well- that is yours to manage.

But back to my initial point, if you truly cannot fathom going, cancel the trip and lose the money, especially if it is going to put an extraordinary amount of stress and pressure on him and your relationship while you are supposed to be “on vacation”.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-01-06T01:57:34+00:00

Is there some reason the name of the country is a secret? You’re not very likely to do yourself and it would help us in evaluating the situation.

If you don’t wanna go, then don’t go. The whole purpose was for you and your husband to go on this trip and now he’s not going. If it’s because “oh, you deserve a break“, then you deserve a break in a country you actually want to go to. And if you’re taking the kids with you, that’s hardly a break. That’s a break for him back home. This whole thing reeks.

AutoModerator · 2025-01-06T00:31:20+00:00

Title: My husband planned a family trip and now he's not coming

Author killerbarbiexx

Full text: To a country I've expressed I'd never travel to because it scares me. He had a list the size of a house of what needed to be done before we left, I've been killing myself to complete it. We're 4 days out, he told me he can't go because of work. I know the work is legit, career changing, life changing money. I just feel fucking numb and sad and would rather die than go by myself.

He thinks it's a big wonderful thing for me to go on this getaway "for a break" with our three young kids. His dad is going to come to ... am I wrong for feeling upset? For not wanting to go? He also says he needs the time and space to be able to do the work, so canceling and staying home is apparently not an option.

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RockingtheRepublic · 2025-01-06T01:43:26+00:00

Really depends on the country

Dionne005 · 2025-01-06T00:49:53+00:00

I’d gladly go. What country is it

Title	My husband planned a family trip and now he's not coming
Author	killerbarbiexx
Upvotes	7
Comments	15
Date	January 6, 2025 12:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1hum1yr/my_husband_planned_a_family_trip_and_now_hes_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-husband-planned-a-family-trip-and-now-hes-not.1540459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540459

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