Ive (32M) been married for 6 years to my wife (35) and we’ve been living in separate states, due to work, for the past 6 months. My wife is a genuinely good person but the last four years have been pretty miserable for me with a lot of ups and downs (mostly downs from my perspective) and I’ve grown to resent her and the relationship. We’ve been on and off with couples therapy and I’ve been in therapy for the past four years. Yes, I’ve put a lot of effort into bettering myself and the relationship and will continue to do so regardless of our outcome.

While we look good on paper, have a comfortable life style and don’t have kids, I’m still dissatisfied and emotionally exhausted by the relationship. I used to want kids but I feel this relationship has killed that desire Or maybe I just simply don’t want kids anymore…Regardless, the thought of having a child with her truly scares me/turns me off for some reason even though she is a great dog mom.

Living apart from here has been fantastic and I’m dreading her coming out here to live with me and disrupting my peace. I’ve voiced my concerns to her and have discussed the idea of separating. Some of our mutual friends are concerned and are questioning my reasons for leaving; as if I’m in the wrong since she hasn’t cheated on me and there is no DV. Am I wrong for waking up and realizing that I just want peace and don’t want to be miserable in a relationship with reoccurring arguments/drama? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, what happened and how did things turn out?