How to Read into Post-First Date Texts

Algernot · 2025-02-05T20:45:38+00:00

I've been on a number of dates where they've said 'Just got home! Thank you again, I had a fun time' but then a few days later said we didn't click. Most women will reply back to a 'Let me know when you get home' as it's just a polite thing to do regardless. Just give it a couple days and then ask if they want to meet up again.

liftingnstuff · 2025-02-05T21:10:00+00:00

Yes you should follow up again. It's your role to be the pursuer as a man. If you know you aren't going home with the girl on the first date but it's going well, you should start throwing out ideas for a second date during the first date.

InternationalTie53 · 2025-02-05T21:47:06+00:00

I just looked back at my “did you make it home ok” text from a first date on Friday (I am female) I did not say “thank you for tonight, we should do this again” I actually said “yes I’m home! Let me know when you make it”.. didn’t hear from him until Monday and he asked to go out again and I said yes. So you never know!

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-05T21:57:32+00:00

There are a couple of indicators here that are telling me you are playing the wrong frame in these interactions.

You are concerned about checking if they are interested and whether they want to see you again. Think about this. Does this sound like the dominant role? Does this sound like what an archetypal male will think?

Of course not, because this type of anxiety is indicative of the submissive role, the role of the pursuer. That’s the role women should play, but you are likely forcing them into the pursued/chooser role. Hence why you are not getting second dates.

You need to switch up the frame from the second you want into the room to the very end of the relationship. You should be the one who is pursued. Let her worry if you are interested after a date and how to make it happen again.

In order to do this, you need to make several changes. One, come up with criteria to screen women, other than looks. Looks should NEVER be the only criteria to want a woman. You should approach women and dating with a slightly skeptical attitude of “ok, you are kind of attractive, but what else? What else can you offer a man like me who has everything?”

During a date or initial interaction don’t worry about proving yourself to her or getting her attracted. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Focus on getting to know her and teasing her about trying to hit on you/seduce you/get you in bed.

If she says something that flies in opposition of your criteria (let’s say you love tennis and she just told you she hates everything about the game), you need to say with a cocky smirk “ouch, see I love everything about tennis and want to be with someone who also shares a passion for it at least takes a interest in the game, so I’m not sure this will work out”.

This puts a huge challenge in front of her, because no other guy has told her “yeah, I don’t think I want you” in those words. At the very least they would still try to smash. So you need to keep pulling away from her and basically playing hard to get. Women actually love working to win you over and if you give them an easy win they lose interest.

Go and read one of your mom’s romance novels. They all follow the same format. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl are somehow on the opposite spectrum of social class, race, lifestyle, whatever. They immediately don’t get along, he is an arrogant asshole and she appears stuck up. But she can’t stop thinking about him and little but little he invades her fantasies. They meet again, have more witty banter and push against each other, until she surrenders to the guy, who hasn’t done anything to try and get her interested.

You have to replicate this in real life situations. Instead of worrying about whether she’s interested, worry about whether she interests you. Instead of worrying if she wants to see you again, worry if you are going to have the time to see her again.

baby_oil773 · 2025-02-06T03:33:00+00:00

You cant test your theory with only one woman. How was the date itself with that one woman? Was there chemistry flirtiness, mutual touching etc?

Dandys3107 · 2025-02-06T09:27:07+00:00

Sometimes they say they would like to repeat the experience, but the next day their emotions turn out differently. It's more like a nice way for a closure, don't pay too much attention to it. Texting is one of the lowest commitment channel. Instead focus on triggering emotions, keeping the tension and valuing your real life milestones and decisions.

Title	How to Read into Post-First Date Texts
Author	Tragedyofthe
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	February 5, 2025 8:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1iik2i1/how_to_read_into_postfirst_date_texts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-read-into-post-first-date-texts.1543070 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543070

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