Boyfriend climbed up a few stories to help a woman get into an apartment

Ok_Outside149 · 2025-03-03T09:46:59+00:00

Does he regularly engage in such risk taking behaviour? How old is he? I can see a 15 year old thinking that’s a good idea but a grown man…

It wasn’t even an extreme situation that required extreme solutions, like a child stuck in a burning building. Just call a locksmith?? 😂 Such idiocy would put me off. I don’t think you should bring it up, it’s done now and he’s fine, just consider if this is a behaviour you want in a partner

VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-03-03T10:16:59+00:00

He's lied about random stuff before

I’m more concerned about this.

NB I am not shinnying up a drain pipe for anybody no matter how hot she is. The only way I’m doing that is if there’s somebody who needs to be rescued from a fire or something. Even then, I’d find a different way because my drain pipe shinnying skills are somewhat out of date.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2025-03-03T15:20:19+00:00

My most generous reading of the situation: he’s an upstanding but naïve guy who may have just accidentally helped someone break into their ex’s apartment. Not a lot of critical thinking, but wanted to be a heroic figure and do what he felt was the “right thing”. +10 “nice guy” points, -10 “smart guy” points.

My least generous reading of the situation: the lady was hot and he thought he could get some if he did this dashing thing for her. And/or, he slept with her, and he’s made up this hairbrained story to explain why he was seen by a neighbor coming out of her apartment. Story seems shady/weird and is untrue.

My most realistic reading of the situation: this man is insecure, and needed to feel successful/heroic at something, so he did something objectively a bit dumb and risky to fulfill an unmet need for validation/appreciation. Which means you OP may need to give him better (safer, and you-focused) opportunities to be the hero. Or, meet the need by volunteering together, building habitat for humanity houses, etc.. 😊

Adventurous-Elk8665 · 2025-03-03T09:03:22+00:00

There isn’t any point in bringing it up, it is likely because she was pretty. Now you have to decide what you want to do with that information. Personally I am extremely put off by such behaviour. But I would still appreciate that they helped another human no matter the reason.

CrotaLikesRomComs · 2025-03-03T10:38:53+00:00

Man here. Anyone asks me to scale a building to unlock a door for them sounds like a great time. It’s probably not as difficult as it seems to you. I have done this a couple times. Both times were for a gf at the time, but I would have gladly done it for any old lady as well. It’s not that difficult. Yes I think you are overreacting.

Edit: after reading other comments, I did this in my mid 20s. I’m 35 now and yes I would still enjoy doing this. You don’t have to take my word for it. Go ask a men’s sub and see how many of them would gladly/excitedly take up the task.

mistressusa · 2025-03-03T15:15:14+00:00

Yea I wouldn't hitch my wagon to a man who can't control his need to play the hero in frivolous situations, especially if my wagon contains children.

The other issue - that he does this for attractive women - means that he is always open to be seduced. So that's a no for me too.

Jenneapolis · 2025-03-03T14:00:42+00:00

This just seems like he enjoys feeling like the hero and needs validation. You can get that from a woman who’s not attractive. If it were me, I’m not sure I would do anything or say anything about it. It seems like one of those things that’s unlikely to happen again, although if it is validation seeking you’ll probably see that behavior come out in other ways.

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-03-03T14:01:32+00:00

If you had kids someday he would likely take that into account. He would also be older, which will probably help. This particular man may be more open to risk-taking behavior than average, but fathers generally tolerating more risk-taking behavior can be a good thing for children. Mothers tolerating less isn't bad either. This duality is one reason why two partner households do well.

Per the Big 5 personality model, it sounds like he is much less Neurotic than you and likely more Open to Experience. If you only focus on the negative aspects of your personality differences, you won't have all the information you need to make the best decision for you. Try to remember the positive. Compare this to the positives and negatives of being with someone with a more similar personality.

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-03-03T16:31:22+00:00

He's lied about random stuff before, he's done impulsive things around attractive women before he met me, and I guess I'm just wondering if this could become a problem in the future.

This is a separate issue. If you can't trust him, there's really no point dating him.

Am I overreacting?

About him helping someone into their apartment? Yes, if it actually happened, which I doubt. About being with a man you dont trust? Well, since that's not the focus of this post, I'd say you're under reacting.

LilacMists · 2025-03-03T16:36:45+00:00

My dad helped a woman break into her car at the grocery store once, to save her the trouble of having to call a locksmith. I was around 8, but I’ll never forget the relief on her face. I thought my dad was a hero that day. He continuously shows up when my sister and I need rescuing, and he’s been a loyal husband as far as I know.

Your boyfriend might be a similar kind of man. But you said he’s lied before and is impulsive around attractive women. That’s a big red flag. I wouldn’t necessarily bring this situation up again, but I’d for sure be keeping an eye out for other flags

SereneDesiree · 2025-03-04T00:57:35+00:00

The main issue is that you don't trust your boyfriend. You have no idea if the words he's saying to you are true, and unless something changes, you'll find yourself constantly questioning what he says to you.

If you want to save this relationship you'll both need to put in a lot of work.

AutoModerator · 2025-03-03T08:32:41+00:00

Title: Boyfriend climbed up a few stories to help a woman get into an apartment

Author A_wicked_nice_house

Full text: He told me some lady claimed she locked her keys in her apartment and asked him to climb up a pipe on the side of the building to get into the apartment and unlock it from inside. I asked him if it was possible for her to call the landlord/building manager in case it wasn't her apartment and to avoid taking unnecessary risks like parkouring up the side of a building to assist someone that you can't confirm lives there. He said she already tried and he believed her, so he did what she asked anyway.

I asked if he's ever done anything like that before and he claims it's the first time, and he claims the lady was old and out of shape so he basically suggested it was not because he was attracted to her. He's lied about random stuff before, he's done impulsive things around attractive women before he met me, and I guess I'm just wondering if this could become a problem in the future.

I want him to help people, but it sounded like a weird situation where he could have gotten hurt if he slipped or lost his grip, all for some lady that he can't confirm whether she lives there or not. The attraction thing is inevitable, so I'm not going to worry about that. I guess I feel uncomfortable with him taking unnecessary risks like that especially if we have kids together some day.

Am I overreacting? Should I bring it up to him?

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Title	Boyfriend climbed up a few stories to help a woman get into an apartment
Author	A_wicked_nice_house
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	March 3, 2025 8:32 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1j2e5zx/boyfriend_climbed_up_a_few_stories_to_help_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/boyfriend-climbed-up-a-few-stories-to-help-a-woman.1545463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545463

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