I got accused of trying to molest a girl today at a sororitely event, I'm kind of scared is there anything they can do?

fit_to_fight · 2015-10-02T16:07:32+00:00

Whatever you do, DO NOT APOLOGIZE.

The kangaroo courts of today's US campuses will take this as an admission of guilt.

And really, you put your hands on her inner thigh for grip and don't think you did anything wrong? Do you live under a fucking rock?

TaeTaeDS · 2015-10-02T10:56:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RP_throwaway20 · 2015-10-02T13:41:52+00:00

Okay, so I advice a fraternity on a very liberal campus. I'm not a lawyer, but deal with our lawyer on a daily basis. I dealt with a similar situation with one of our members over the past 12 months.

Personally, I think this will all blow over and you can chalk it up to a learning experience. However, I wouldn't talk about this to anyone, period. Then, I'd pray that this girl and/or any of her sorority sisters don't mention this to anyone that would be required to report this to your campus's Title IX officer. Cause they'll be required to do an investigation because what you described could very easily be framed as sexual assault, and at a minimum you'd probably be expelled (or asked to remove yourself willingly) from the university.

This seems ridiculous because it is. The way this law has been re-written is completely fucked up and puts young men is a very precarious situation...and that's why nearly all major fraternal organizations are lobbying Congress to get it changed.

EDIT: missing word.

CumForJesus · 2015-10-02T11:06:45+00:00

Inner thigh? You sure you don't mean outer?

Were you going to pick her up and throw her around in some sort of swing dance?

You need some pretty solid kino to go for an inner thigh in public view.

I doubt this will come back to hit you unless your stupid about it and go looking for trouble.

FrameWalker · 2015-10-02T15:04:50+00:00

Don't admit doing anything. If pressed you were dancing, and then she walked away.

[deleted] · 2015-10-02T11:07:48+00:00

For grip? was the house on a slanted hill and were you falling?

RPmatrix · 2015-10-02T10:37:30+00:00

"I start moving my hands on her inner thighs for grip"

I can't rationally visualize that, unless she was a plate/gf.

and she accused me of trying to molest her sister.

Now I can see how that happened, but not the "how and why" of your 'inner thigh grip' lol!

How, no, why do you "get a 'grip in her inner thighs" whilst dancing? (of the non sexual type)

I can see how they thought this was "inappropriate" and told you so, but WHY did you do that bro? It would've been less drama to just ask her if she "wants to fuck?"

How does that work, are you Wee Man's brother or were you behind her and have alien arms that reach your knees, and her crotch was rocketing so you had to "brace yourself"?

I just can't see this ... would you care to elaborate mate?

ChoiceProductions · 2015-10-02T12:58:50+00:00

What's with all the hysteria? I'm disappointed by the comments here. Rather than making assumptions - and judgements - OP is asking for the RP approach to this situation.

Own it. You did it. Probably for a reason. Explain yourself if you have to. I wouldn't apologize, and certainly don't try to make up bullshit. Apparently it was an unwelcome advance, but it sounds like you didn't persist after she expressed disinterest.

If you do decide to engage with them you should record the conversation, if it's legal to do so in your state. If you're not leaving anything out I think your only risk here is if she or her sisters start to embellish the story.

fromdario · 2015-10-02T13:30:50+00:00

You were dancing with her consensually. You moved your hands to her thigh which is normal enough. Inner/outer, who cares, the point is she did not want it. She immediately indicated she did not want this by leaving. Who knows what this chick's deal is. She is probably a basket case.

You did nothing wrong. Recognize this, what you did was socially acceptable given the context.

My primary concern would be if she attempts to move forward with some sort of disciplinary harassment charges. There are witnesses that can attest to the above stated facts. Touching a thigh while dancing is hardly grounds for anything serious but still a liberal college who knows.

I would suggest speaking with a student advisor or student counselor. Most larger schools provide these free of charge. When you speak to them explain how broken up you are about this incident and you meant nothing bad and you feel horrible she reacted that way and you would never violate the personal space of a woman, felt the dancing was escalating to something more intimate and she gave every indication up to that point she was enjoying it.... blah blah blah. Ask for advice how to proceed, say you want to apologize if she was offended but don't want to contact her directly in case she is still upset. The point is you are remorseful because she is upset, not because you did something wrong/inappropriate. You didn't.

I suggest this because it documents your remorse and side of the story before (and hopefully never) a formal complaint is issued. If it goes to a disciplinary board. This will work in your favor that you (without prompting) attempted to seek guidance for the situation and also shows your side of events on record and paints your character in a sympathetic light.

If a counselor is unavailable, I suggest you speak to some free mental health professional and do/say the same things. The point is to have documentation about your side and such.

I doubt anything will come of this, but bitches be crazy. If it goes to disciplinary board, I suggest you retain legal counsel who has experience with these matters.

Do not drop out of school, it is your future, do not jeopardize it over some moron. If you still want to leave, try transferring to a better school that you might enjoy going to more or would provide you with better career options.

The girl involved is a retard.

[deleted] · 2015-10-02T12:46:35+00:00

just play it off as like "whatever". Which is what you should have done at the time. Don't feel bad - nothing will happen. Is just part of life and learning. Remember - its only creepy if you're unattractive.

korewarp · 2015-10-02T12:48:40+00:00

Dances with guy

Gets upset when touched

Color me not surprised.

[deleted] · 2015-10-02T17:49:30+00:00

This is nothing more complicated than you failed a shit test.

This is one of those shit tests you cannot fail, and you did. You can't do anything now but wait - but stop hiding away like a little guilty bitch. Next time tell her sister that you like being slapped how much for an hour?

binrobinro · 2015-10-03T00:49:00+00:00

Oh my god this is not over.

pinstrap · 2015-10-02T11:45:06+00:00

Just explain to her and whoever you have to talk to (i.e. the dean) that it was a socially retarded move and that you're new to the scene and didn't know it was unacceptable. Apologize and explain that you thought it was acceptable, but that now you know it isn't. Do you get my drift? Try to throw it on your social ineptness.

[deleted] · 2015-10-02T17:27:57+00:00

"I was dancing with this one chick, and I start moving my hands into her pants for grip"

haha JK

Don't be a fucking creeper like that. Really!?! Inner thighs while dancing? How the fuck does one do that without being creepy?

Watch some damn Dirty Dancing if you want to turn a woman on while dancing. You were just straight molesting her.

If it were me...I would have played it off like "yeah your sister is hott and she brought the animal out in me. My bad." and move on. But then again, I wouldn't have pulled that shit.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-10-02T21:03:02+00:00

My heart fucking sank and I went blue, immediately went on the return bus and isolated myself socially.

FAIL.

This bitch wanted to find out if you liked her. Or more specifically, wanted to bang her. She wanted it publicly known that she was GOOD ENOUGH to be desired by you. She has that now, you just didn't go along for the ride.

Title	I got accused of trying to molest a girl today at a sororitely event, I'm kind of scared is there anything they can do?
Author	thegeeber
Upvotes	9
Comments	34
Date	October 2, 2015 9:32 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3n7ish/i_got_accused_of_trying_to_molest_a_girl_today_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-got-accused-of-trying-to-molest-a-girl-today-at.154622 https://theredarchive.com/post/154622

Comments