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“It kills me that you think you’re good enough” Is Something an Abuser Says to Their Victim

meeralakshmi

March 26, 2025

93 upvotes

/r/EverydayMisandry

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Title	“It kills me that you think you’re good enough” Is Something an Abuser Says to Their Victim
Author	meeralakshmi
Upvotes	93
Comments	33
Date	March 26, 2025 3:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/EverydayMisandry
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/1jke6lq/it_kills_me_that_you_think_youre_good_enough_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/EverydayMisandry/it-kills-me-that-you-think-youre-good-enough-is.1547695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547695

Comments

[–]Kuato2012 42 points43 points44 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AfghanistanIsTaliban 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Most claims are actually inverted.

"don't have to be a certain body type"

Don't you think it's insulting to teen boys who are struggling with body image issues?

Body dissatisfaction predicts the onset of depression among adolescent females and males: a prospective study (2078 females and 1675 males, all 18 year olds)

One in 10 (10%) of the girls reported at least one mild depressive episode compared with 1 in 20 (5%) of the boys. Nearly 7% of the girls and nearly 3% of the boys reported at least one moderately severe depressive episode, while severe depressive episode(s) affected 1.5% of the girls and less than 1% (0.7%) of the boys.

Analysis of the data revealed that body dissatisfaction at the age of 14 predicted depressive episodes of all degrees of severity among the girls, and mild and severe depressive episodes among the boys by the time they were 18 years old.

These findings held true, even after taking account of depressive symptoms at the age of 14.

Among the girls, each increase in the body dissatisfaction scale at the age of 14 was associated with a heightened risk of experiencing at least one mild (63%), moderate (67%) and/or severe (84%) depressive episode at the age of 18.

The strength of this association increased with the severity of the depressive episode.

The impact of body dissatisfaction on mild depressive episodes was comparable between boys and girls, but its impact on severe depressive episodes was stronger among the boys.

Each increase in the body dissatisfaction scale at the age of 14 among the boys was associated with a heightened risk of experiencing at least one mild (50%) and/or severe (285%) depressive episode at the age of 18.

"it is possible that in the era of social media and increasing pressures on body ideals, male adolescents have also become sensitive to [idealised body image] pressures, which may translate into later depressive episodes," suggest the researchers.

"celebrated for being a father"

By whom? The mother?

Longer paternity leave decreases "maternal gatekeeping" (ie. discouraging behavior against fathers) behavior but has no effect on "maternal gateopening"

"not expected to stay handsome for women"

Lol no. This one is one of the most delusional claims.

The Relative Importance of Attractiveness and Intelligence to the Mate Preferences and Choices of Women and Their Parents

Results showed that for picking a long-term mate, a man's looks influenced BOTH groups of women, both mothers (59.6% of the time regardless of personality) and daughters (72.6%!), more than his personality profile. And both groups claimed that intelligence was more important for them than attractiveness.

Access to personality information about a bald man eliminates the stereotype against men without hair

"Women rate bald men as less attractive both physically and socially than men with hair. However, when character information is available, bald men are only rated as less physically attractive than their counterparts and not socially."

"get to blame women for men's bad behaviour, which is insane, but if women point that out, we're accused of complaining"

There are 6 studies which show that men's behavior is hated (and they are indeed blamed) in society by default, in an perpetrator-victim narrative.

Man up and take it: Gender bias in moral typecasting - Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes (2020)

Abstract:

Informed by moral typecasting theory, we predicted a gender bias in harm evaluation, such that women are more easily categorized as victims and men as perpetrators. Study 1 participants assumed a harmed target was female (versus male), but especially when labeled ‘victim’. Study 2 participants perceived animated shapes perpetuating harm as male and victimized shapes as female. Study 3 participants assumed a female employee claiming harassment was more of a victim than a male employee making identical claims. Female victims were expected to experience more pain from an ambiguous joke and male perpetrators were prescribed harsher punishments (Study 4). Managers were perceived as less moral when firing female (versus male) employees (Study 5). The possibility of gender discrimination intensified the cognitive link between women and victimhood (Study 6). Across six studies in four countries (N = 3,137), harm evaluations were systematically swayed by targets’ gender, suggesting a gender bias in moral typecasting.

And some claims are downright unfalsifiable, as in, they are so useless that they are not even wrong. For example:

"Like, you don't have to ever be extraordinary, but somehow you're always doing it right."

But here are the raw numbers of male-specific and female-specific scholarships at each university (women make up the majority of college grads)

And here is a progressive media outlet admitting that white women in particular are the biggest beneficiaries to affirmative action

White women benefit most from affirmative action — and are among its fiercest opponents

A 1995 report by the California Senate Government Organization Committee found that white women held a majority of managerial jobs (57,250) compared with African Americans (10,500), Latinos (19,000), and Asian Americans (24,600) after the first two decades of affirmative action in the private sector.

Now I can't really disprove the fact that men "don't have to ever be extraordinary," but who are you to claim this?

[–]Initial_Zebra100 23 points24 points25 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AfghanistanIsTaliban 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AntiFeministLib 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 31 points32 points33 points 1 year ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]meeralakshmi[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 17 points18 points19 points 1 year ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[+]country2poplarbeef -11 points-10 points-9 points 1 year ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 15 points16 points17 points 1 year ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[+]country2poplarbeef -10 points-9 points-8 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 12 points13 points14 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]country2poplarbeef -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cold_Mongoose161 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]country2poplarbeef -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cold_Mongoose161 9 points10 points11 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]country2poplarbeef -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cold_Mongoose161 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Wauron 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]BaroloBaron 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]meeralakshmi[S] 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cold_Mongoose161 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrimeWolf88 -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrimeWolf88 -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PrimeWolf88 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]alter_furz 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AigisxLabrys 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Disastrous_Average91 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AfghanistanIsTaliban 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BloomingBrains 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link