As the mysterious and legendary seduction guru Pook famously said, “Women do not see guys. They see worlds. They see themselves exiting this realm of Nature and entering the guy’s world.” If your world is superior to hers, she will want to leave her world and instead live in your world. But if your world sucks, she would rather stay in her own world. And what the woman experiences as your “world” is what you pay attention to.

Fiction is almost never a good way to learn about game, but there is one brilliant movie that demonstrates how your attention is the portal to your world: Being John Malkovich.

Being John Malkovich is about a sad, miserable beta male named Craig who discovers a secret portal in his office that one crawl into and “be” the famous Hollywood actor John Malkovich. Whenever a person enters the portal, that person can see and hear everything Malkovich experiences for about fifteen minutes before the portal spits them back out into their regular life. While in the portal, the person cannot control Malkovich’s actions, but they can experience whatever John Malkovich is experiencing, like they are watching a first person movie of John Malkovich’s life.

Craig quickly discovers that people will pay good money for the opportunity to be John Malkovich and experience the life of a famous movie star, and he starts selling tickets to the portal for $200 a pop. After word gets out, a long line forms outside of his office of similarly miserable people who are desperate to escape their shitty lives by being John Malkovich, even if only for 15 minutes. The opportunity to be John Malkovich is so appealing that many of Craig’s customers become addicted to the experience and keep coming back again and again.

Even women like being John Malkovich. In fact, Craig’s own wife enjoys being John Malkovich so much she starts to think she might be transgender and would prefer to be a man. Craig’s wife also starts an affair with one of Craig’s female coworkers, but the coworker will only have sex with Craig’s wife when Craig’s wife is inside John Malkovich’s body, so Craig’s wife keeps going into the portal again and again to cheat on Craig with his coworker. Basically, everybody wants to either be John Malkovich or have sex with John Malkovich. And sometimes even both.

Being John Malkovich drives home an important point about attention and the alpha male’s emotional experience: women do not just want to admire the alpha male from the outside, they want to enjoy the alpha male’s emotional experience vicariously through him. They want to live in his world, experience what he experiences, and feel what he feels. If they could, women literally crawl in the alpha male’s brain and body and BE him. But that is obviously impossible, so women must settle for the next best thing: joining the alpha male’s adventure and vicariously experiencing his emotional experience.

But just as the portal to John Malkovich’s brain is only fun because John Malkovich has an awesome life and does fun things, your world is only attractive so long as you are living an awesome life and focusing your attention on fun, positive things. The moment you point your attention to bullshit, or worse, let her decide where you point your attention, you ruin the most attractive thing about yourself. Nobody can live your life like you can, and nobody can properly wield your attention like you, so you must ruthlessly guard your attention.

Make no mistake - women do not intentionally want to ruin your emotional experience. But when you let women control your actions, and more importantly, where you point your attention, they cannot help but destroy your emotional experience because they will attack your frame, your world, and your emotional experience with their neuroticism and frame tests. If you give women control over your world they will make your world a dark, neurotic, mess that even she will not want to participate in.

At some point, Craig learns how to control John Malkovich’s actions while he is in the portal. Common sense would say that being able to control John Malkovich’s actions would make the experience better because he can now make Malkovich do whatever he wants. But Craig is a weak beta male, and when he controls Malkovich, he causes Malkovich to do weak, beta male things, and he ends up ruining Malkovich’s life. By controlling Malkovich, Craig destroys what made the portal fun and appealing in the first place and all the people that wanted to experience life as Malkovich disappear because Malkovich’s life is now just as miserable as their regular people lives. In the same way, women will try to control you, and they may even think the can do a better job than you at controlling your life, but if you let them, your emotional experience will start to suck.

Whenever you are around a woman, therefore, you should ask yourself: if she was inside my body and experiencing reality as me, would she enjoy what she was experiencing? Am I pointing my attention to fun, positive things and leaving when things get boring and negative? Or am I letting myself get sucked into boring and negative situations? Am I genuinely enjoying what I am doing or am I putting on a show to make her like me? Am I laughing, smiling, and feeling abundant? Or am I arguing, begging, and acting cold and scarce? When I want to do something, do I just go ahead and do it or am I worried what she will think? Most importantly, am I protecting my world or not? The answers to these questions determine whether a woman will want to join your emotional experience.

My website: http://www.woujo.com