Haven't been here for a while update

We had our temporary motions hearing in November and I agreed to 1/3 custody. I agreed to it because I wanted the kids to have time to transition into a new environment.

The court order states no disparaging each other. The kids unsolicitedly tell me things that concern me, but there's nothing I can do. If she wants to speak about me like that, so be it. The kids will see the truth in the long run (kids are 12, 8, and 7).

I'm noticing the kids are drifting away from me over time. It's odd—during our daily phone calls, they’re often silent when I ask simple questions like, 'How was your day?' Almost like they’re being coached not to open up to me. When they're with me, we have a blast. They're loving, caring, active, and I provide well for them. But when their mother is around, it’s like they avoid me—as if they’ll get in trouble for engaging with me.

This is something I have no control over, but it drives me crazy. I pay her $2,100/month in support for the children. Her parents cover her housing, and I’m certain she spends much of the support on herself—but whatever.

We’re supposed to both consent to enrolling the kids in extracurriculars and share the costs. But 'her half' is effectively still me because of child support. She won’t agree to any activities I suggest and expects me to accept whatever she signs them up for. When I don’t, she tells the kids that I won’t let them participate. Our daughter monopolizes the entire extracurricular budget with dance five nights a week plus cheerleading, while the boys get nothing and are forced to tag along and watch her.

Trial keeps getting delayed while attorneys hope we can settle. I don’t care about the money—that’s just law. But I will go all the way in asking for 50/50. She refuses to agree. We’re clearly not going to settle, so let’s get a judge involved already. I’m a good man, great father, with a stable job, my own condo, and a car. I have the means and desire to care for my kids, but she keeps throwing out buzzwords in the co-parenting app—claiming I make her uncomfortable, that I’m harassing or abusive. None of this has a shred of truth, and I’d welcome the chance to prove it in court.

Despite everything, I stay engaged. I don’t miss pickups, appointments, or school events. I make their lunches, wash their clothes, help with homework, and manage logistics. I do all the invisible parenting stuff too—comforting them through surgeries, emotional support, one-on-one time. That’s the kind of father I am.

Focusing on What I Bring to the Table: I’ve actually stopped keeping detailed records of her shortcomings. I’m not going into trial trying to tear her down. Instead, I’m going in to show the court who I am—a good man, a committed and capable father, and someone who wants to be fully present in his children’s lives. I want the case to focus on why I deserve 50%, not on why she doesn’t.