Money

GreenCod8806 · 2024-08-26T02:19:48+00:00

Stop giving her money. If you give her money the courts think you have extra money laying around for her when you yourself are struggling. Provide for your kids by buying things for them instead of giving her money. You are a parent, too. Keep your receipts. She can’t fucking handle them then they have a home with you. She has no expenses and her mother probably does the child rearing. Get smart. Stop giving otherwise the taking is easy.

traveler12166 · 2024-08-16T04:13:38+00:00

Stop helping her it will only comeback to bite you in the ass. The mediator will say you know she can't live without your money so the courts will make sure you are court ordered to pay it. It happened to me don't pay any extra.

dp_the_brain · 2024-08-13T21:31:55+00:00

From my experience…

I filed for divorce, but my lawyer had me pay my ex something every month during the process. It wasn’t the full amount I’m pay now since the court decided custody and child support(it’s 50/50 and I pay her $$ since I make more). In my case, it showed that I was willing to support my kids no matter the situation with their mom, this helped down the road. I think I sent her $300 a month until everything was official. Talk to your lawyer, but it might show that there is nothing malicious on your end and you just want to keep the kids standard of life as similar as possible.

Good luck and God bless✌🏿👍🏿

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-13T19:58:45+00:00

Hold your cards. Don’t say what you want. Use her needs and wants to leverage to get it. No free assets. You should still hire a lawyer if you have substantial assets.

JeckiLonsFeet · 2024-08-13T14:23:24+00:00

I’ve been through two divorces and I can say all the advice you’re getting is for shit except what @upvotersfortruth is saying. You can cut her off but the courts will make you pay support for the months you didn’t pay her. Your lawyer can run the support numbers so you know how much you’ll have to pay her monthly and you can budget accordingly. Regardless of what comes out of mediation the judge can and will override anything that they feel is unfair, doesn’t matter if your wife agrees to it. The courts are generally skewed to favor the woman slightly. The other thing that is concerning is when you bought your condo. If you bought it before the divorce was filed then it would most likely be considered marital property and she gets 1/2 the equity from the condo. If you bought it after filing no issue. Typically a lender will not find a home purchase in the middle of a divorce case at least that is the case here in the US.

You may be better served by not going to mediation and just talking to your ex and have your lawyer draw up the final settlement. It will eat into some of your retainer but the mediation sponsor is court appointed and going to do everything by the book and will end up being overly fair. Which isn’t a bad thing but it does sound like you want to come out feeling ahead and that’s totally fine, no one wants to be buried from a divorce and as a man and breadwinner we’ve been providing and losing 1/2 of everything we worked for and provided it’s a tough pill to swallow. Good luck my guy!! We’ve all been there and it sucks

Training_Ad1368 · 2024-08-13T08:36:59+00:00

Sounds very strange, they can't force you out without a court order, and even if that would be the case why would she have moved to her mother's place? Is the house empty?

Then, don't buy anything until divorce is consolidated because still is a martial asset and half of that belongs to your spouse.

Get a lawyer asap and get child support and spousal support setup.

You guys need to split your finances soon. Block the credit cards and limit her access to money or you will find your arcs empty.

Reflog1791 · 2024-08-13T08:19:31+00:00

Talk to your lawyer. There is a $ amount without a court order that you probably need to send monthly. It should be similar to future court ordered child support and spousal support payment.

Ex wives bleed through cash. It’s just part of this lovely experience. You have my sympathy.

You should only be helping her to the tune of the minimum amount that does not piss off the judge and get you slapped with a back support payment plus interest. That’s the biggest risk to mitigate.

All payments to ex wife at this time need to be marked “temporary family support”.

You need to retain an attorney for $5k or $7500 now with inflation. Don’t blow through the retainer. All you do is get a trial date, then a mediation date 2 weeks prior to trial, then talk to your lawyer for like 1 hour spread between 4 meetings where you surgically get the info you need to close out the divorce.

Good luck.

Internal-Wolverine13 · 2024-08-13T05:40:11+00:00

Do not pay her anything that isn't court ordered. Time for her to put her big-girl pants on. If there's currently no custody order, go get your kids and keep them, you don't need her permission to have your children at your new place.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-08-13T03:42:15+00:00

Make a reasonable provision for the kids and deposit it into the joint account. If you're the sole breadwinner and you cut her off, you'll get hammered by the court.

chrishooley · 2024-08-13T03:13:03+00:00

Don’t fall for it. Get a lawyer. The courts will decide. You’re no longer loving partners. She’s your adversary in a deal that you will lose. How much you lose is up to the judge. You don’t have to be a dick to her but don’t be a sucker either. Get a lawyer ASAP.

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-08-13T02:01:49+00:00

Agree with everything said here. Do you have a lawyer? Even if you do mediation, you should retain an attorney. Mediators may be limited in what they can instruct regarding financial matters, but your lawyer can and should advise you. Mediator will just be neutral to make the deal happen, whether in your best interest or not. What is your jurisdiction? The law is different everywhere.

karavan7 · 2024-08-13T01:53:11+00:00

You cannot give her any money until the settlement is signed. Everything that you have left behind is hers. It's gone. Do not pay any bills, especially mortgage or rent. Empty all accounts and close all credit lines. Get her served with papers asap. The courts will take your assets and you will pay child support. None of this is fair and it one of the areas where men need to be very calculating and logical. She can get her legal share as soon as she signs a settlement, until then, the bank takes the house and all credit is cut off. I know it sounds ruthless and the alternative is that you lose custody, pay child support, pay aliminoy, and pay on assets that are not yours. Apply pressure for a quick settlement. Mediation is fine.

Equal-Morning9480 · 2024-08-13T01:30:53+00:00

There are many on this sub who are far more experienced and smarter than I am, but I would say don’t give her a thing. Wait until instructed what to give her, in the meantime maybe you should take half the funds out of the joint account. The money you give her could set a precedent, so stop. In the meantime fight for 50%, hell fight for 70, fight for custody, She made her bed and she can lie in it

Title	Money
Author	Due_Instruction9035
Upvotes	13
Comments	46
Date	August 13, 2024 12:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1equqnj/money/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/money.1527143 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527143

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