The photo gap

TisIChenoir · 2025-06-15T07:58:02+00:00

I remember a japanese movie, "The Asano Family" about a real-life photographer.

Anyway, at some point during the 2011 earthquake/tsunami cpmbo, that guy went to Fukushima seeking to help, and decided to try and salvage whatever family photos he could find, so people could have photos of their lost family members.

Then, a young girl came to try and find photos of her family and especially her dad who died, but couldn't.

At some point he decides to help her make new family photos with her mother and little brother to help her move on, and there's a scene where they pose on the beach, he is behind the camera, and the little girl starts crying, saying she understands why she doesn't have photos of her father, because he always was the one taking them, nobody took photos of him.

That, this little scene in a movie, hit me like a fucking truck. I still think of it often. And it do be like that. Whenever we are on vacations, I take a lot of photos of the place, and my wife and kid, and make photo album, so we have about 25 albums now. There isn't a photo of my in any single one of them. To an outside eye, I don't exist. If I die tomorrow, they won't have a single picture of me to remember me by. And that's really hard to cope with.

Short_King_13 · 2025-06-15T07:32:31+00:00

Yeah, and when we divorced, half of the family, friends and acquaintances sided with her. Apparently I was doing "financial abuse" because I wanted to travel solo with my son and me in a national park. But no, it needs to include her and her thousands of photos, because she needs to be the main character

PerennialPsycho · 2025-06-15T07:15:37+00:00

Same here. 18 years. She turned out to be a narcissictic bitch.

hendrixski · 2025-06-15T13:29:51+00:00

The family photo gender gap.

This fathers day let's take lots of photos with our kids.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2025-06-15T16:02:20+00:00

For me it was a little bit the other way around. Mostly it was because she wanted the photos to remember the events, and she took the initiative of getting the camera out. Then she had low self esteem about her looks, and every time I said "get in the photo" she would refuse for any given reason - no makeup, dress made her look fat, clothes weren't ironed, hair wasn't done, etc.

Luckily there are pics of both of us, and they capture exactly what it was like, warts and all. I prefer to show my kids that side of their early life.

Everyday_Evolian · 2025-06-15T12:05:34+00:00

Now that i think about it a reluctance to take photos could be seen as evidence of some discontentment or impermanence, (im assuming you are no longer married based on your past tense “was”). My father never took photos of his wife or kids because he regretted having a family, my mother took photos when i was an infant and toddler but when my fathers drug addiction, sexual aggression and domestic violence escalated the photos stopped completely. I think it might reveal an inner disconnection, no desire to make permanent something you have no love for nor desire to preserve.

Legal_Current_9023 · 2025-06-18T12:44:05+00:00

Never thought about it, but my ex took no pictures of anything.

ah-tow-wah · 2025-06-15T07:40:46+00:00

It can easily go either way. I'm female and the only photos I have with me and my kids are selfies.

Robot_Alchemist · 2025-06-15T12:18:15+00:00

It might be that she considered you were there because in her eyes you were (and you really were)

Title	The photo gap
Author	Nice-Cartoonist3961
Upvotes	133
Comments	28
Date	June 15, 2025 5:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1lbslzv/the_photo_gap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-photo-gap.1554743 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554743

Comments