Need advice on how I fumbled and what I could do better.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-02T16:30:55+00:00

You need to learn to be ok with things not being clear, and just lead with what aligns with you and what feels real in the present moment, without seeking answers from her about where you stand. Take your power back by not needing an outcome, clarity, approval, certainty from her, and instead just escalate when it feels right into physical intimate touch, sexual flirting, and going for a kiss, not because she signasl she wants you to, but rather because you feel like it and it she doesn't say no, you just go for it even if she didn't explicitly said "do it". Don't talk about how much you like her, or how sold you are on her. Just make stir her emotions, provoke her, tease her, flirt and escalate.

2025-07-02T12:54:06+00:00

Look you have asked her out. Leave the ball in her court now. At this point you can go from being a guy she likes to becoming a needy desperate guy. Just focus on other stuff, talk to other women and enjoy your life. Obsessing over her will only make things worst. Give her space, give yourself space. Some people say direct all your energy into one woman, but if you do that instead of actually living a life, you will at best appear on amIOverReacting sub.

If anything, space will mean she can realise she enjoys your company. If not, well you have shot your shot, move on in life.

Zotoaster · 2025-07-02T12:56:50+00:00

It sounds like she's on the fence and you gotta get her off. I think you should ask her out one more time, and if it doesn't work out, move on. It'll probably make her more interested anyway.

Vast_Perspective8094 · 2025-07-02T14:31:39+00:00

Tell her you like her and be honest with your expectations. That’s it. Communicate what you feel for her. And tell her “are we gonna have smth or not?” If not then you can forget about her that’s it.

gtaIIIstan · 2025-07-02T17:12:46+00:00

As always, sagas that last weeks and months with women are not the move. I'm not saying she has made everything easy or straightforward, but the situations where things are dragging on for weeks and months are rarely as fruitful as the situations where things escalate easily. You keep making excuses for her excuses but instead it's time to read the writing on the wall. This is not how a woman who truly sees you as That Guy acts.

She’s been DMing me 2-3 times a week, inviting me to hang out (note: always among others, never the two of us) and whenever we go to her place of work (a bar) she never lets me pay for what I get. My friends are saying that she’s really into me, but whenever I try to set a date with her there’s always something happening. I think she’s just playing with me right now, she knows I like her and she likes my attention.

For me as a man, I'm always fast-tracking clarity and valuing my time. So it's either I'm accepting a group meet and trying to peel off with her for a 1-1 hang in the moment; if that doesn't bare fruit, that's it. I'm not continuing to give attention to her DMs or go on these pointless group hangouts. Or, I'm only accepting a 1-1 date off rip. Again, if she rejects this, fine. I move on and NEVER ask her out again or give her DMs any attention. But you need to have boundaries with yourself and with women. When you don't, this is how you get ensnared in these unflattering situations.

BravoPUA · 2025-07-02T22:00:24+00:00

I would ask her what's up.

Then would stop giving her attention if it wasnt something positive and moved us forward.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-07-03T03:59:17+00:00

date other women; post pics with other women ; its that simple lol, do that until you learn more game, the worse you can do is react, and dont vomit your feelings on her either. goodness and you meet her last year lmao

ratfooshi · 2025-07-02T16:04:52+00:00

She's a mixed signal diva. But you gotta keep your feelings lowkey for now.

She's showing interest and initiative, clearly. Yet whenever you wanna see her, she always seems to have something going on.

Most of it may be genuine. But we cant ignore that she likely knows this throws you off, which puts the ball in her court. She's feeding illusions. Building your desire.

It's not always malicious. The back and forth is a natural part of seduction.
But now's the time to get the ball back:

- Ask her out again. Once she agrees, be the one to cancel it first.

Watch how she scrambles trying to reclaim control. She thought she was gonna give you false hope, until your uno reverse card. Now she becomes the pursuer.

Title	Need advice on how I fumbled and what I could do better.
Author	babis104
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	July 2, 2025 12:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lpuzjz/need_advice_on_how_i_fumbled_and_what_i_could_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-advice-on-how-i-fumbled-and-what-i-could-do.1556168 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556168

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