Alienating mother

muramx · 2025-08-02T08:57:49+00:00

I had to... would go to pick up my son for example when we verbally agreed to exchange custody (early i divorce no court order.) She would tell me no and say she was calling the police because I was there... I documented everything on paper, every day that I showed up, everytime shecalled the police (who did nothing.)

I went as far to have a go pro in my car and I would film me pulling up knocking on the door, her yelling through the door she was not going to let me see him, and she was calling the police. Only thing I said was I will wait for them and I went back to my car. They would show up and she would claim I was beating on the door and yelling obscene things through the door. But it was all on video. Every single instance I had video of. I got on a first name basis with a lot of the officers.

I went through this for 3 months then it was off and on til near the end of the divorce. She thought she was going to take everything and screw me over but hours and hours of video and documentation and police statements... she ended up agreeing to getting nothing.because both of our attorneys told her if she went in front of a judge I had enough to bury her in court. Not just the stuff I talked about but a lot of other things.

Now 10 years later my son stays with me 90% of the time because his mom doesn't give a shit about him except as some "look at me I am mom of thr uear" when she needs to impress someone. She did it to hurt me and because she thought she could get everything in the divorce.

Now I have a home I have been with someone for 7 years. And she lives in low income housing barely can hold a job or a relationship.

Unusual_University14 · 2025-08-01T06:05:40+00:00

What you say she said is hearsay. Contemporaneous notes taken as events happen are evidence. Even then its from a biased party (you).

Document everything. A sub-1 year old won't be able to speak to himself.

Other than that be a good dad, by the son's solace in the chaos.

nerdzilla16 · 2025-08-01T01:20:53+00:00

Oh! Thanks for the resources! My attorney and I are filing for GAL and believe 50/50 is reasonable. I definitely document and save each receipt. Thank you for the great words. I read your reply, but will likely read them again to make sure I take it all in. I will google your resources also so I can watch/listen to them.

No_Pace2396 · 2025-08-01T01:17:31+00:00

Ew. Good luck. There’s alienation (what’s happening) and then there’s “alienation” (what the court sees). Look at your local laws and the likelihood that you’ll get 50-50 (Google custody awarded to father by state until you get an infographic showing the courts record by state). Die on the hill that gets you 50-50 in the decree if you think you have a chance.

Some states deny that parental alienation exists, because what sick mother would do that/fathers can’t be parents anyway.

Maybe secretly recording if you’re in a one party state so you can show custody evaluators/GALs what she’s doing, but that’s pay to play with no guaranteed outcome—roll the dice and get a momma knows best feminist and you’re screwed and out that money. Maybe that’d get you a psyche assessment for your STBX and fight for a cooarenting coordinator in the decree based on her behavior. Unless your STBX has a come to Jesus moment your fight is in the years ahead.

Look at Amy baker beyond the high road and the bench guide to parental alienation to see what behaviors they’ve seen used in infants.

You have to be a freaking monk. No drinking, drugs, alcohol, loud voices, porn, anything that could make you unfit. The bar is low for you, but momma starts off as the Virgin Mary. Hope there’s no dirt she can bring up on you. Watch momma…she drops the ball or puts off childcare on you, document. Anything that can make her look like she’s not the mom the court considers her to be.

You do doctors appointments, buy diapers and change them, anything to show you aren’t a Homer Simpson. Use our family wizard to coordinate care with your ex and document everything, even if your ex refuses to use it…I’m putting kid to bed now, can u turn down the TV? I’m taking him to w/e babies have to go. I know you had a rough week at work and want to drink a bottle of wine and smoke a joint so I’m happy to take care of him tonite and give you a well deserved break cause I know taking care of him stresses you out. You can say anything, just keep it calm and neutral, showing you’re the one trying to be a coparent. Texts don’t carry the same weight.

Talk to a few lawyers. Tell them what’s going on, that you’re concerned that baby’s first words are going to be “mom says daddy doesn’t love me.” Pick the one who lays out a strategy for you to head this off, or the one that’s pessimistic but can come up with a plan. Ditch the ones that deny anything is going on or put off taking action.

Mediation starts with custody. Stand solid even if you walk out or take all day. That means you’re one step closer to court if she wants to hold firm on anything less than 50-50 and coparenting coordinator.

In my state winning a parental alienation case is an uphill battle.

Grafixx5 · 2025-08-01T01:07:32+00:00

The age of your son is going to be difficult to prove it’s alienation, imho. You can put up security cameras in the house in the common areas but that’s about all you can do. Due to his age, the courts will probably automatically lean towards your wife being the primary custodian . Now if he was older and could speak, things he may say could prove the alienation.

Title	Alienating mother
Author	nerdzilla16
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	August 1, 2025 12:24 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mei63d/alienating_mother/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/alienating-mother.1558606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558606

Comments