How to sound authentic and actually confident ?

liftingnstuff · 2025-08-13T16:54:54+00:00

The way to develop confidence is to put yourself in difficult situations that you gradually become better at handling. Go out and practice a lot. As you put yourself in more situations, your brain realize that the responses you get aren't nearly as scary as what your internal anxiety projects them to be. Fake it til you make it is real. I would recommend slowing down your speech. Breathe deeply and talk through your diaphragm so your voice is deeper and slower.

srosete · 2025-08-13T18:02:24+00:00

I think the way you describe the issue talks a lot about the issue itself. By the way you describe it, it seems like you are tying to flirt, be bold, be the funny guy...

See, the issue starts when you "try" to be something. You are performing, putting on a show for their entertainment. Girls inmediately recognise that, and yes, they get the feel that you are needy and desperate for attention.

You don't seek for their approval. This is just a game that you play, and being a game, it's fine if you lose. As other comment says, create tension, tease them a bit. Don't give too much, be ready to leave. And the most important: don't overthink it. If you mess up, you can probably turn that into a joke. So mess with them, find a way to do it respectfully. Keep it lighthearted.

I hope these tips get a little weight off your shoulders and you can focus more on having fun, and less on "being funny".

TuxedoPinata · 2025-08-14T01:11:25+00:00

Most people don’t understand what you’re saying and are giving you bad advice already. Every time humans communicate they use facial expressions, vocal tonality, etc. Yes, that is the part that gives you away as incongruent. But doing what the others here are saying, “being you” won’t do anything. You will just fade into the background, become a static part of the decoration.

Conversely, you need to strengthen all those modes of communication. Flirting is all about making others feel something, so you need to make sure you are transmitting emotions through your facial features, tone of voice, stance, etc. look at standup comedians and actors. How do they tell stories that make you want to follow them? Do you think they did that by “accepting their introverted self”?

Dandys3107 · 2025-08-14T11:32:46+00:00

You should stay relaxed, pay attenton to the mood and emotions, don't brute force your agenda, prioritize quality over quanitity, loose your muscles, talk slower, keep proper posture, take deeper breathes, look in the eyes, smile. Even if your mind keeps the proper concept, body still contains plenty iof subsconscious habits that will sabotage you. Take is step by step, seduction improvement is definitely not a marathon. Don't try to make a big leap when you can see things you do barely works. As always, read seduction theory, test in practice, analyze and adjust.

ElusiveAbs · 2025-08-13T17:05:09+00:00

Reads like you’ve been an introvert for a long time and you’re currently not comfortable to joke flirt, etc. because it conflicts with your identity and comes across as disingenuous.

Approach convos with the intention of having fun, do it with your friends/coworkers first, guys too. Slowly you’ll get comfortable then start approaching girls you don’t know. You’re not being fake, this is just something new to you and you need to accept that.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-08-13T17:15:10+00:00

Play to your natural traits.

As long as you create sexual tension, you won't be downgraded to the friend zone, assuming the girl was initially attracted to you. Sexual tension happens when there is an obstacle stopping 2 people that are attracted to each other from having sex.

You can use your introversion as the obstacle. Just be social enough to carry a convo, but be detached from beauty at the same time. Derive the detachment from a place of outcome independence and being introverted becomes an advantage. If she initiates physical touch, you can withhold your touch and tell her to behave herself, or to not get her hopes up. That stuff drives women nuts because that attitude shows you aren't urgent and you appear preselected, and it's creating the tension by placing psychological obstacles.

Confidence comes from competence. When u know enough about tension to create it at will, there is no reason not to be confident.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-13T15:38:21+00:00

Do you feel confident in these social situations?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-08-13T16:37:54+00:00

Dude, don't think and don't make women think, instead feel and make women feel!

You need to learn that everything you feel that you want is valid, never apoligze for what you want, never justify it, never be defensive about it, never argue about it, just accept and let it be known that "it's just how you feel" and you don't fight, hide, censor or repress what you feel.

You express your impulse, your desire, not because you want her to say she feels the same attraction, but rather because you are inviting her to feel the tension and desire that you have. You don't need her to say she feels the same way, you tell her you feel this way because it's real without asking her to validate it or reciprocate it.

If she questions your actions, you don't say sorry, or backtrack, or go defensive, or justify yourself, you simply double down and say "it's just how i feel".

You approach because you feel it's right, not because there are objective reasons that indicate you should approach her. It's not about looking for signals that she is interested in you approaching her, it's about doing it anyway because you feel the pool towards her and you are not the type of guy who fights what he feels.

When you speak about your feelings, you are more likely to conenct with women. Remember you have to use the words "i feel this", "this is how i feel", "you know that feeling", "i feel like"... Because that's what makes women resonate with anything you say when they hear you are about to express feelings, not logical arguments or rational decisions.

You don't connect by exchanging facts about each other, but feelings and sensations. You should only talk about how things make you feel, how she makes you feel in terms of sexual desire. (Warning: Only expressing feelings of sexual desire or attraction not confessions of your unduying love for her).

You want to escalate? Share the feeling that you have, why you are drawn to her, how hard you are trying not to kiss her right now, how you can't help yourself but look at her, how your mind short circuit when she smiled at you like that. You need to express the emotional effect she has on you and no matter what she says "double down", no matter what tests, excuses, objections she throws at you, never backtrack, always say "it's just how i feel".

And that's enough for women to feel something and make a decision to lean into that energy and inmerse herself fully without thinking if they should or not.

Title	How to sound authentic and actually confident ?
Author	Rizz_Pineapple
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	August 13, 2025 3:22 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mp7ev7/how_to_sound_authentic_and_actually_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-sound-authentic-and-actually-confident.1559520 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559520

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