Negative voices in the mind...

miami2881 · 2025-09-19T22:28:51+00:00

Invite the worst case scenario, it will just be a funny story you can share later.

Illustrious_Size610 · 2025-09-19T23:38:16+00:00

u struggle with accepting rejection. u are trying to get a guaranteed outcome, and because your body knows there is absolutely no fucking way to get a guaranteed outcome then you freeze until u figure out a way to get the guaranteed outcome which is something that will never happen.

that's why i often say, that you need to forget about attachign yoruself to the outcome and just aling yourself with what you want to do no matter the consequences. So it's about verablizing the risk and then doing it anyway.

"If i ask her out, she might laugh at me and turn me down, and yet im going to do it anyway because it's what i want."

That's the correct mindset. You do things not because you have guarantees that it will go the way you want to, you do it because u lead yourself based on what u know you want to do and if doing what u want leads to rejection or negative consequences so be it. You don't apologize for doing what u want, u don't justify yourself, you don't regret it, you don't say you did not mean it.

Instead u double down, you reaffirm yourself in your decision, and you even dare to say "i'd do it all over again the exact same way" even if i know this was gonna be the result. Why?

Because u don't say sorry for what u want, you know you wanted to do something, so your feelings are the only justification that you need to act simple as that. If someone doesnt' like it so be it. They are not your teachers or your parents to tell u what u should or shouldn't do.

Now, this doenst mean you cannot learn to start a conversation in a way that its more likely to be received well. You simply need to be polite and respectful and not take rejection personallly even if they show skepticism of you or judge u.

You need to learn to be unperturbed by people's reactions to ur actions, because yes not everyone is gonna react positively or negatively. There will be people who love and admire your approach and others who show disgust and laugh at u. Neither of those thigns reflect who u are, they reflect who they are.

So it's not about telling yourself that a negative outcome won't happen, it's about you being willing to make the decision to do it by telling yourself:

"fuck it! im gonna face that outcome anyway and if i have to experience the tension of a negative experience so be it... It might hurt in that moment, it make make me uncomfortable but it will pass! Just like everytime i was a kid and i injured myself, and got a scar, it hurt in the moment, but after a while the pain passed and didn't hurt anymore".

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-09-19T22:33:54+00:00

That won't happen. I've never seen it happen. The worst that can happen is she will walk away.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-09-19T22:57:43+00:00

Why don't you try just hanging out with women normally until you see enough of their perspectives and behaviors to not sit around worrying that they might respond like psychopaths at any moment for no reason.

Deffective_Paragon · 2025-09-19T23:21:33+00:00

I know what you mean, I've seen many shows and movies where women act brutally when guys approach them but I guess that rarely happens and it's just shown for commical purposes.

Trip_seize · 2025-09-19T23:50:01+00:00

Where do you find these women who will slap you for free?

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2025-09-20T11:06:32+00:00

You force yourself to do it and prove to yourself it's just your imagination.

Kierenbrowncoach · 2025-09-20T15:16:09+00:00

That voice in your head is not truth, it is survival instinct. Your brain is running on caveman software that says rejection equals exile, exile equals death. That is why a simple “no thanks” feels like she might slap you in the face. In reality, the worst that happens is she is not interested and you walk away unchanged. The fear is ancient, but the stakes today are microscopic.

You cannot delete the voice, but you can flip it. The same adrenaline that makes your palms sweat before an approach is the same surge a fighter feels before a match. It is not danger, it is power. Instead of “what if she embarrasses me,” train yourself to ask “what if she lights up when I speak to her?” Reframe the story and the exact same feelings become excitement, not paralysis.

The cure is exposure. Talk to strangers every day, not just women. Compliment a barista, joke with a cashier, greet someone in line. Each rep proves the voice wrong, each approach lowers the volume. Soon, the idea of her slapping you will feel ridiculous because you will have stacks of proof that the worst outcome is just a shrug. Attraction rewards boldness. If you want the full blueprint on how to turn fear into fuel and make approaching women second nature, check my profile and grab my book.

Fun_Strength_5843 · 2025-09-20T06:21:23+00:00

Great answers here. What if she is with her friends and I'm my own?

Fun_Strength_5843 · 2025-09-20T20:57:36+00:00

I'm a little nervous talking with people by nature. I think having one or two drinks before...helps to relax and have more confidence with the approach.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-09-20T22:47:34+00:00

Override them with positive cheerleading self-talk.

Illustrious_Size610 · 2025-09-19T23:30:32+00:00

You struggle with accepting rejection. You are trying to get a guaranteed outcome, and because your body knows there is absolutely no fucking way to get a guaranteed outcome then you freeze until u figure out a way to get the guaranteed outcome which is something that will never happen.

that's why i often say, that you need to forget about attachign yoruself to the outcome and just aling yourself with what you want to do no matter the consequences. So it's about verablizing the risk and then doing it anyway.

"If i ask her out, she might laugh at me and turn me down, and yet im going to do it anyway because it's what i want."

That's the correct mindset. You do things not because you have guarantees that it will go the way you want to, you do it because you lead yourself based on what you know you want to do and if doing what you want leads to rejection or negative consequences so be it. You don't apologize for doing what you want, you don't justify yourself, you don't regret it, you don't say you did not mean it.

Instead you double down, you reaffirm yourself in your decision, and you even dare to say "i'd do it all over again the exact same way" even if i know this was gonna be the result. Why? Because you don't say sorry for what you want, you know you wanted to do something, so your feelings are the only justification that you need to act simple as that. If someone doesnt' like it so be it. They are not your teachers or your parents to tell you what you should or shouldn't do.

Now, this doenst mean you cannot learn to start a conversation in a way that its more likely to be received well. You simply need to be polite and respectful and not take rejection personallly even if they show skepticism of you or judge you. You need to learn to be unperturbed by people's reactions to your actions, because yes not everyone is gonna react positively or negatively. There will be people who love and admire your approach and others who show disgust and laugh at you. Neither of those thigns the positive or negative ones reflect who you are, they reflect who they are.

So it's not about telling yourself that a negative outcome won't happen, it's about you being willing to say "fuck it im gonna face that outcome anyway and if i have to experience the tension of a negative experience so be it... It might hurt in that moment, it make make me uncomfortable but it will pass! Just like everytime i was a kid and i injured myself it hurt in the moment, but after a while the pain passed and didn't hurt anymore".

Title	Negative voices in the mind...
Author	Fun_Strength_5843
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	September 19, 2025 10:23 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nlhb2z/negative_voices_in_the_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/negative-voices-in-the-mind.1562377 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562377

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