After over a year of beginning to finally self reflect and really dedicate time to big goals, which I am continuing to do as of now , I’ve gradually opened up to the idea of dating again (however still not dating as of right now). But I notice something that honestly bothers me. The type of guys I attract are very extreme. They are either low value who approach everyone (aka no shame), or they are the super flashy alpha types (professional athletes, local men with influence) who come with their own issues as well and bold gestures.

The men who are more in the middle (I know there’s a term for that used here that slipped my mind) rarely approach me. I’ve heard things like I’m very scary or I seem like a type of woman who only deals with specific types of men when I eventually do get to know those types of guys. I don’t dress revealing or anything, but I think compared to my environment I am a little more put together than average.

The question I have is how do I attract men in that Goldilocks zone without eventually falling into chasing them? Like giving a signal or just testing the waters without looking desperate.