Hello all, I’ve been debating whether or not to reach out for help, but after much consideration, I finally decided to. My wife and I have been married almost 30 years (2/16/1996), and we recently filed for divorce. We have two adult children, ages 27 and 22.

Our relationship has been plagued by dishonesty, infidelity, and a lack of trust for many years. We have both contributed equally to the failure of our marriage. This most recent blow-up was again due to infidelity, and I decided it was finally time to stop the cycle. The pattern of dysfunction has been tearing us apart for so long.

The thing is, we are still good friends and really hold no animosity toward each other, other than the fact that we’ve disappointed one another. I haven’t moved out of the house yet, but I do sleep in a separate bedroom. We agreed to make this an uncontested divorce, so hopefully there will be little to no arguing.

Recently, however, she has expressed feelings that make it seem like she doesn’t want to go through with the divorce. My gut tells me she’s just scared of the uncertainty, and that if we stay together, one of us will eventually fall back into the same behaviors. Part of me has entertained the idea that things could genuinely change for the better—that we could work things out and maybe even cancel the divorce. But another part of me says to follow through with the plan, and maybe one day in the future we can try again if the circumstances are truly different.

So I’m reaching out for direction from anyone willing to offer it.