both 41, I guess I can now celebrate? After a year of fighting with her in the courts, as she tried to sue me to take 100% of the assets, including my dog, She stole north of 500k from my crypto wallets. Judge just finalized the divorce and split everything 50/50.except the crypto, she denied it and i cant prove it. not because she wants or needs the money, just so that i dont have it.

How it started :

In 2020 i lost my IT job at a fortune 500 company, Shes an executive for another fortune 500 company. She made twice as much as i did. all good. We were not poor by any means. Money was never a issue. I had always been betting on sports for many years, maybe 100$/week just for fun..always disciplined, always profited over a week/month,sticking only to things i knew very well and did lots of research,no YOLO bets... I started just scaling it up to 1000/week, then 1000/day. She was fine with this. Not the issue at all. i kept a spreadsheet updated each day she had access to in a shared drive and my finances were fully transparent.

in late 2021/2022 when IT jobs started coming back and she knew of some places hiring(including her company) she started asking when i was going to "go back to a real job". I was making more profits from betting at that point than my previous jobs salary. I told her not now or anytime soon, why would i go back to a 9-5 to be miserable make less money.

later In 2022 it got to a point where she literally said no more sex until i get "a real job".She said i could keep sports betting but theres no way id be able to keep up the research/monitoring at the scale id been doing, but i had to get a real office/IT job with a proper title. She was "embarrassed" by how i made money and didnt have a classy job title to tell people. She would lie to people and tell them i still worked in IT and get angry with me if i said anything different. I took a job at my friends wine bar, for fun, few days a week, didnt even ask for a salary but they paid me anyway. wife basically ordered me to quit after a few weeks saying that wasnt "a real job".

Fighting got so bad i basically moved to the couch. I refused to give in. She started applying for jobs for me, literally calling recruiters she knew and sending out my CV without asking me. When a company would call id say im not interested and hang up. Which of course she would hear from the recruiter and then start a fight with me. This went on for a year or so. By this point i had a higher income than she did.

I knew the end was coming, I was ready to bail. started making preparations. I got the divorce application printed and filled out, didnt think she would put up much of a fight, thought it would go smoothly seeing we both obviously wanted out of the marriage. figured we'd sign it, hand it to the court, split the assets 50/50 and we'd go our separate ways without needing lawyers. boy was i wrong.

We were barely even speaking at this point, I left the papers on the kitchen table and went out with my friends for our usual weekly dinner/wine. She started blowing up my phone a few hours later, I went home. After some arguing she walked over and picked up the phone and called the police. told them i was violent with her(i didnt),just yelling at each other and she wanted me removed from the house. Police came,said i was "aggressive with her" and she was scared for her safety. They didnt do anything other than ask nicely for me to leave for the night and contact lawyers tomorrow, i happily left and went to stay with a friend.

She spent that entire night from 8pm until 7am on my computer literally digging though all of my online stuff, doing "forgot password and resetting all my passwords, my reddit, social media, finances everything. she emptied the shared bank accounts to hers. logged in and changed the ownership of my dog to her name. I had just bought a new phone and left the old one at home, i had changed the pin recently so i wasnt worried, i didnt realize until after she had added her fingerprint to it probably a long time before when she knew my pin. she used my phone, access to my email and 2fa to get into everything, literally everything. drained all accounts she could. i didnt notice till the next day as i went to my friends, put phone in my room and sat and drank wine with them until we went to sleep. I called the police the next day when i got up who told me it was a civil matter because we were married and to let the divorce court sort it out.

Iv spent the last year spending a fortune on a lawyer fighting her because she sued me to keep everything, using the reason that i didnt "uphold family standards and obligations" and that i didnt deserve anything because i was a bad husband who "embarrassed her" and "lowered our families social standing". she delayed every single step of the way during the court process, asking for extensions trying to drag it out as long as possible. She lied in all of the statements to the court, crazy stuff, like she thought i was cheating on her with couple specific women, then provided (edited) and partial screenshots of messages from my social media of women saying what date/time they would come over to our house(some were even when the wife was home)...funniest one was a dog trainer i had hired and i showed the judge the entire conversation on my phone. Another was a friend from my home country who was travelling here and both her and her husband came to visit for dinner(while the wife was there),she just left out a lot of details to the judge, just wrote he"invited women i dont know to our house" type statements.. I was thankfully able to debunk everything and the judge didnt buy her statements and told off her lawyer for allowing that in her statements without checking anything. Judge said it was clear she was trying to mislead the court.

At the last hearing we had she told the judge " i was willfully unemployed therefor not upholding a respectable family reputation". I showed him my financial records and she admitted that i had been paying half for everything right up until the divorce papers were filed..

Our dead bedroom was brought up at 2 different hearings because she tried to use me sleeping on the couch as reason for our marriage failing and the judge gave her a dirty look when she told him that she didnt want to have sex with someone who was willfully unemployed and thought it would motivate me to find a job . she yelled at the judge saying "earning money doesnt mean hes employed and contributing to society or doing something respectable", her lawyer had to grab her and tell her to stop. The other time was when she accused me of cheating saying that "because we werent sleeping together that i must have been getting it somewhere else" but couldnt name anyone she suspected me of cheating on her with or any other evidence because by then her previous attempt that that evidence was debunked..

Judge ordered her to give me my dog, 50% of everything she took from the shared accounts,50% of the retirement accounts ,100% of what she transferred out of my accounts and 50% the value of the house as we agreed she could keep it. I did not ask for any money that she made. Judge basically said he couldnt do anything about my crypto until she transferred it to her bank account, i doubt she ever will. iv written that money off anyway. judge gave me everything i asked for in the end. I probably could have asked for more and i didnt. i just wanted it all over. She filed an appeal but my lawyer said there's no chance the appeals court will accept it and i can relax.

So now, Im single at 41, trying to restart my life after 11 years of marriage. tried the dating apps and am traumatized at what i am finding and basically gave up on that and uninstalled them. What a shitshow the dating scene is like these days, Lots of games, tests, making men compete with each other, expecting the man to pay for everything every time . Seems pretty clear most women are dating many men at once and making them compete with more expensive dinners/events for her time. I remember a time when it was rude to ask someone how much money they make, what kind of car you drive in your first few conversations or ask to be taken to a really expensive place for a first date.. seems like its the norm now. Im not against spending money, im against the requiring it attitude.

If any newly single men out there have any advice for me, im all ears. Im about to move to a new country soon to a more social/fun type place, where i am now its considered weird to go up and talk to random women you meet. wish me luck. thanks for making it this far into my rant.