When dealing with friends with benefits, should convo be limited to only setting up meets?

Vox_Dissidens · 2025-11-30T11:14:29+00:00

I know many dudes will disagree with this logic, but she’s a human being - not a fleshlight.

Before I was married, I had a few FWB situations. I always treated them like friends, hung out with them, went to movies, dinner, etc. It just seems so backward to me to sleep together - the most intimate thing you can do with someone - while treating them like a stranger.

If your sexual chemistry is fragile enough that a conversation ruins it, then the connection was made of microwaved cardboard to begin with. If anything, it’s a good thing to press into, so you can learn from it.

hunterpua · 2025-11-29T12:51:22+00:00

I talk about everything with my FWBs. One of them literally encouraged me to get more serious with my now girlfriend.

Yes. That means I even talk to them about the other girls I'm sleeping with.

That FWB was someone I saw for a month once a year for multiple years btw and I've been able to have very long term FWB situations a lot, and in fact, some of my really good platonic female friends are former FWBs.

The reason I'm able to have that is because I don't neglect the 'friends' part of "friends with benefits."

I even talk to them about the other guys they're seeing and also push them to other guys when I feel like there could be something more there.

Why should I cling on to an FWB or be bothered by them seeing other dudes when I'm not willing to commit to them and I'm always getting new girls myself?

And yeah, some inevitably get attached and I have to end it with them but since we've always had very open communication, the break might suck for her in the moment but there's never any bitterness or resentment from either party afterwards.

I may sometimes have FWBs that stick around for a long time but I never actively try to maintain or extend an FWB situation.

If I'm messing around with FWBs that means I will wanna keep sleeping with new girls anyway, so it's not like I will be lonely if one FWB wants to call it quits.

I hardly even try to get an FWB in the first place, I just make sure that every girl I sleep with knows I'm sleeping with others by the time we have sex for a 3rd time. Check my comment history, I broke down that whole process a few days ago.

Either they stop seeing me or keep seeing me. Doesn't really make a difference to me because I'll keep getting new girls when I'm in that position in life.

I mean, why stop? Its not like you'll stop running into hot girls just because you have an FWB.

When I met my girlfriend, she started out as one of 5 FWBs I was seeing simultaneously. I would have kept adding more in if we didn't end up getting serious.

Vegetable_Anty · 2025-11-29T03:23:58+00:00

Balance familiarity with respect; communication should stay open but respectful.

Ok-Passage8958 · 2025-11-29T23:09:56+00:00

I had one in the past that was a good friend. We’d talk about everything and she would help me with dating advice regularly. We both knew early on weren’t compatible but, the sex was great.

Overall_Subject4010 · 2025-12-01T00:56:37+00:00

You do this thing where your friends…. Hangout and do shit and also hookup its not rocket science mate. If yall are on the same page it should be fine. If you/her are into it more than the other have a conversation about whats going on.

S-Tier_Commenter · 2025-12-01T18:10:57+00:00

Nah you’re confusing friends with benefits with something else, like unfamiliar people with benefits or some shit

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-11-29T03:47:20+00:00

I just make some small talk a bit before dropping the hint.

Me "How's your weekend going?"

Her "not too bad, how's your's?"

Me "Alright. You wanna come over?"

Her "Yeah just give me a couple minutes I gotta finish up here."

Me "ok no problem."

I keep it short and to the point

forextrader82 · 2025-11-30T18:21:49+00:00

At the beginning of the relationship, I keep it more logistical. (First few hookups)
After sex, I would initiate conversation and slowly reveal more about myself.
Some of the FWBs were really into that - to the point that they started inviting me to stuff or we would go out for drinks - which was fine. Got free tickets to stuff. Etc.
Girls that I get along with on a personality level are more enjoyable. The sex is better. After all - there’s still a male / female dynamic going on here.

Final thought: GET CLEAR on what you want out of the relationship. On what YOU want. What would make it maximally enjoyable for you?

Get clear on that - then lead from that place. The right girls will fall into your frame. These are mutually beneficial relationships. You’ll be happy when she’s happy. She’ll be happy when you’re happy.

bafun13 · 2025-11-29T11:43:13+00:00

RoyalPheromones · 2025-11-29T09:59:58+00:00

Just talk to them the way you'd talk to one of your guy friends , except not crude or lewd ofc. General rule of thumb always worked for me.

And leave some room for mystery, if you're getting too familiar then you're maybe too available. I wouldn't even tell them what you do or any of your background. Let them fill in the gaps with their fantasies.

Title	When dealing with friends with benefits, should convo be limited to only setting up meets?
Author	d_thstroke
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	November 29, 2025 2:42 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1p9djf8/when_dealing_with_friends_with_benefits_should/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-dealing-with-friends-with-benefits-should.1567659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567659

Comments