How do you move on from AWALT?

BeyondDedication · 2015-11-23T20:02:35+00:00

You're not alone. I've got all 3 sixes and I still have this issue; six foot, six figures, six pack.

I've been on over 100 dates in two years. I always have multiple options, but when things start going well with one, I start dropping other options and focusing too much on her. Something will happen where I feel like she may not be in it as much as I am and I'll panic and go for commitment. Lost the last two after 5 dates and the other after 7, although I did fuck both multiple times.

My problem, and maybe yours, is that we don't get enough enjoyment out of life with things other then women. I KNOW I need more male friends, I KNOW I need to go out more, I KNOW I need more hobbies then just lifting and cooking. But what are we going to do about it? Me? First I'm getting my pistol permit and a handgun to shoot at the range (hobby +1). Then I'm either getting hours as a bouncer or taking bartending classes and getting hours as a bartender (friends + 1, hobbies + 1, social + 1).

Knowledge is power, and we both understand what we need to do. I'll see you at the finish line.

sodainthewatercup6 · 2015-11-23T19:44:08+00:00

77 women in a year and you're still getting attached before the 4th date? This can't be real.

You seem slightly depressed and not where you want to be physically. Work on that and you'll generally be more alluring to women.

BaconEggsAndSleaze · 2015-11-23T18:52:40+00:00

Stop committing to one girl.

Your feelings will not foster if you spread them out among multiple girls.

As for my parents, they are one of the few that did not get divorced. I am grateful for their relationship, but i've accepted that it is a different time now.

mrprm · 2015-11-23T19:14:55+00:00

I've only had one real LTR in my life, and I have to admit that another LTR is what I've been searching for. I'm not against one-night-stands or anything, but my end goal has always been an LTR.

It sounds like you are defining your worth by whether or not you are in an LTR and by what women think of you in general. You are looking for a woman to fill a void in your life. The problem is, even if you do end up in another LTR, if you aren't happy with who you are without a woman in your life, it won't change with one in your life. You also seem to be lacking an abundance mentality despite the fact that you have shown you can pull in dates.

Try restating your goal. Instead of (translating here) "My main goal is to find a woman to validate me", state your goal as - "I want to become a better man for myself and find a high value woman, who deserves me, to be the icing on my cake. Remember, you should be vetting those women to see who deserves you and not trying to prove yourself to them. You are the prize.

If you haven't already, I highly recommend you read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

thor_away92 · 2015-11-23T22:56:53+00:00

You're not actually improving yourself man.

"I'm needy"

What causes that, how do I fix it, what's my first step? If this is an issue women should not be the focus.

superbad4life · 2015-11-23T18:48:43+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Had one real LTR that I thought I was going to get married to. I'm impressed with the 77 women over the course of a year... shit I haven't had more than 10 dates with online girls.

I recently asked about being clingy and was advised to use abundance mentality. One thing that RP doesn't really do (from what I have read or seen) is transition to an LTR or even a single 'plate,' because that's not its goal. You can't control your emotions, but you can control who you are talking to/seeing. If you have several lady friends/plates, it might cause you emotional pain, but you have 3 other women ready for you. The AWALT/unicorn thing is almost impossible if you're looking for the LTR because you will always try to rationalize by using your feelings. The truth is that you can get any girl you want (77 and counting), you just have to keep doing you. When it's all said and done, I think that's what RPT is at its core and how most people find their LTR. Everything else discussed is just tips, tricks, guidelines, and traps to avoid on the way.

Apexk9 · 2015-11-23T19:57:48+00:00

Humans are created by their environment.

How do you know that your feelings aren't just a by product of a girl that you want to fuck giving you attention? If you had 3 girls equally as attractive giving you this attention would you still have feelings for them?

Let me guess you play on Tinder and then target one girl and drop all others as you focus on her?

MyTrapsCauterize · 2015-11-23T19:20:14+00:00

77 women decided to fuck you, and 77 times in a row you did something to disqualify yourself and completely change their mind.

I'd start there, I bet there is a common theme among your failed tinder dates.

Also, AWALT doesn't mean there aren't any decent women around. AWALT just means that all women have the potential to fuck your life up, fuck you over, and fuck everyone you know at a moment's notice. I once saw someone say that AWALT is just like treating every gun as if it's loaded. It's just a good rule to keep you handling them in a safe manner (also applies to guns).

randarrow · 2015-11-23T18:48:33+00:00

I think you know you need to get over your attachment syndrom, that much is obvious.

"No unicorns" does not mean nothing special. Find that woman that can suck dick with skills. The the one who can brew beer. Find the one you can go mudding with. Find the one who can organize events. Most women (people) have nothing special to offer. But, one in ten have a one in one-hundred skill which make them great.

What do you want to accomplish here?

Title	How do you move on from AWALT?
Author	Frojoe2003
Upvotes	5
Comments	34
Date	November 23, 2015 5:45 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3tyskf/how_do_you_move_on_from_awalt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-move-on-from-awalt.156918 https://theredarchive.com/post/156918

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