Well I made a post ranting few days ago and had time to think about everything. I had a frank conversation with my wife about the dead bedroom and no intimacy. Well that lead to her saying it was like nails on a chalkboard, she is cringed about sex, touch and intimacy. That im not helping my case pushing it and that if I keep she is not even interested sleeping in same bed. That it’s a take it or leave it situation. She is not changing and for me to deal with it.

So I am scared but leaning to divorce. There are a million and one thoughts now. I can’t move out not enough money to add another bill on my income. How do I move my stuff out, should I start moving my stuff out. Should I play it cool like everything is okay for holidays and start talking to lawyers. How to pay for lawyers without her knowing, all our financials are together. Do I even have money to get a lawyer?

Mind is swirling and feel lost. I know I’m not happy and makes it worse that it’s the holidays.