My STBX is moving tomorrow

DeciznDNA_Official · 2026-03-06T23:40:42+00:00

What you wrote about grieving the life you thought you were building together really hit me. It’s strange how you can know something is the right step and still feel sad watching that chapter close. It also sounds like you’ve been putting so much energy into making sure your kids feel safe and reassured that you haven’t had much space to process it yourself yet. The fact that you’re thinking about them that way says a lot. It makes sense that today would feel heavy. Days like this can feel heavy, but they’re also the beginning of a different kind of future for you and your kids — one that will eventually find its own rhythm again.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-03-06T23:31:33+00:00

You'll power through but not without pain there will be times of ugly crying and eating take out and insomnia but then the fog DOES LIIFT!

StillMaterial5215 · 2026-03-06T21:21:47+00:00

I feel you. I’m in the process of it now, found out about wife having an affair. After the initial shock and betrayal, I’m absolutely calm for now and actually pretty relieved. She has fucking sucked for so long and I was literally the last to know. I wouldn’t take her back if she wanted to in the least.

However, I still am grieving the future like the guy above me said. Not a future with her per se, just the direction mine and my children’s lives were going in. They don’t know yet and are going to be absolutely devastated.

Koi_Fish_Mystic · 2026-03-06T21:03:43+00:00

I’m so glad our kids are grown up & when the conversation eventually takes place; they’ll be mature enough to understand.

It tears me up to hear early divorces & how it’s messing up the kids.

MonarchistExtreme · 2026-03-10T19:59:00+00:00

Yeah i thought similar but life NEVER goes how you expect it to. I worried how the hell would I raise my son w/o his mom around (he moved to live with me full time soon after separation).

Surprisingly we found life was SOOOO much better. You might not realize the mental energy you were spending trying to keep an unhappy woman happy. It's exhausting and impossible. Once that load was taken off my shoulders my son met ME for the first time ever...the real me.

He was saying something about it to my former mother in law and to her credit she laughed and said "that is (My name)...that's who he was when I met him...he's a very interesting guy to get to know".

So don't look at it as a negative...look at it as the chance to show your kids who the real you is...and if you don't suck as a person, I think your kids will be much happier in the new arrangement.

The flip side of it, without the dad there to keep the mom centered, sometimes when the kids meet the real mom, they decide they feel safer and happier with dad.

Upstairs_F_Art_7077 · 2026-03-06T21:03:31+00:00

You owe it to yourself to take this time to feel it and recognize how it makes you feel. It’s the first and most painful step of healing. clean the wound so it does not fester or become infected. Do not immediately dress it or numb it, that will only lead to long term scarring. Feel all of the pain, carefully pick all of the shit out of it that does not serve your healing, and try to reconcile with the fact that this wound can’t be wished or ruminated away. Our children still need that calm strength and wisdom through life that can only be given by us dads. -coming from a mildly hypocritical man trying to do the same.

UrAristotle · 2026-03-06T20:53:08+00:00

You’re mostly mourning the loss of the future you thought you would have. This will come and go in waves over the next many months. And just when you think you’re past it, it’ll happen again.

Be there for your kids. Be their rock. They’ll need every minute you can give them.

Title	My STBX is moving tomorrow
Author	corbillardier
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	March 6, 2026 8:45 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rmpmiq/my_stbx_is_moving_tomorrow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-stbx-is-moving-tomorrow.1574864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574864

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