Got it earlier this week. So grateful I didn’t wait for her to save up and file when she told me she wanted divorce. I mean who cares but I think that was a big surprise and the best decision I could have made. 3 months (4.5 months into separation) into formal divorce and will be done early July.

I feel so damn good. I started seeing abs this week from all the work I’ve put in. About 500 miles (mostly a walking mind you) but I ran 10mi last week which was a PR since November. It’s nice to hear my younger brothers look up to me again and tell me that they’re proud of me. I mean we need to be self sufficient right? It doesn’t matter in a foundational sense but a nice acknowledgement.

Starting to get my finances in order and set career/educational goals. Getting female attention and going on dates (disasters btw because they both hid they were fucking married haha unfucking believable). My asthma I hardly even notice now or have any issues with. Most importantly and what has carried me thru this (and before) is getting closer to God and church every week but prayer everyday. Particularly during those walks. I’m so so so grateful. All that glimmers isn’t gold and certainly the inverse is also true. I’m grateful I haven’t ever questioned my self worth or pursued someone who doesn’t want to be with me. That was enough of a truth to accept it the simple reality. Why love someone so deeply that doesn’t feel the same? Love your self instead. The betrayal and monkey branch didn’t embitter me but simply confirmed that feeling. I felt anger of course but used it for fuel. I wasted 18 years of my life and refuse to waste more. Grateful for this forum too. God bless yall for real. Really come to find solace in this group and reading stories and getting advice from wise wise men. I had it easy compared to many of you and acknowledge that as well but I’ve found a strength that feels otherworldly and borrowed and can’t believe how great everything is turning out. I truly hope some of you struggling can look to yourselves as worthy of love and begin by taking care of yourselves. A woman should never be your identity nor measure of self. I hope yall miss yourselves enough to find your way back to old ways or find the courage to build yourselves. Not going anywhere but my love to yall and get to walking, prayers and those push ups in my friends. LFG!!