Just in shock

OkJaguar5013 · 2025-11-24T01:30:05+00:00

Rough day today in my head. I think I’m just weak mentally and emotionally from such little sleep but thank everyone who shared anything. Helps bring me back. Should hopefully file for divorce formally in the next few days. I don’t want her back but I just can’t wrap my fucking head around how/why someone wouldn’t just talk to me and want to tell her how I feel but I also don’t want to share anything more of myself. I just feel so betrayed and cheated out of time in my life.

No-Dream512 · 2025-11-16T20:14:38+00:00

31 years here. Yep weeks before she left we were on holiday and 3 months before that we were looking at houses to buy. She left everything with except my pension.

emt_fire · 2025-11-16T04:06:54+00:00

37 year old, 2 daughters (2 and 4), and brother…I have never felt more desirable than I do now. Remember, her loss is someone else’s gain, and that someone can be you.

StopRacismWWJD · 2025-11-16T03:42:54+00:00

You have the strength of the Lord upon you 🙏🏽 I pray for the Lord’s peace to be within you and comfort from the Holy Spirit to surround you throughout this time. You’re doing well right now ❣️ Continue in prayer, brother! God bless!!

FaithlessnessNo281 · 2025-11-16T02:32:59+00:00

Use it as motivation man.

CRobinsFly · 2025-11-15T18:45:29+00:00

Is she also 38? Planning for a kid? If she is, lmfao! She's choosing childlessness by leaving you. Definitely let her go!

NewDay0110 · 2025-11-15T18:02:34+00:00

She dont want your rizz anymore 😂

LifeBeatsHard · 2025-11-15T17:44:31+00:00

Hey bro, same boat than you here. 37 years old, no kids, 10 years of marriage and my wife just walked away. No cheating, no violence or abuse. My situation was more related to clash into religious beliefs. 3.5 months into my solo desert journey. My 5 cents to add to what the boys already mentioned: stop looking for answers. You will not find answers on what you or she did wrongly, or what could you have done differently, or what/when triggered this bad feeling on her. This will just consume a lot of energy, you will not have the answers (just assumptions) and even if you get the answers, they will not restore your marriage, unless she is open to work on reconciliation, then you both will work on answering those questions for the sake of growth. Talking about praying... that's key, praying followed by resting in God. Remember that God allowed Job's family and possessions to be fully taken, then He restored everything in better quality and quantity than before. Besides, meditate on Rom 18:8 "What's coming next is worth the pain". If you are a Christian, this is the time to really let God take care of you, because he has always done that, it's just we were distract with the marriage or something else. Keep praying and open your eyes that you will see and feel God looking after you personally.

We will get through this, regardless the bad days (which tend to come yet).

ChiefsGuy2014 · 2025-11-15T17:29:55+00:00

Don’t fucking move out. Move to another room, but stay put.

bluephotoshop · 2025-11-15T13:21:12+00:00

Don’t move out. Stay where you are. Tell her to move.

Firm-Assumption-77 · 2025-11-15T13:04:01+00:00

Echoing others, you've got to hang in there. Don't do what I did and less than 1 yr after #1 go and marry #2. Get yourself right, mentally, physically and emotionally. It's going to be rough but survivable. You're young and just need to focus on the present. Whatever you do, don't look back at what was, look forward to what can be with the new and improved self. I will stress this one point, give yourself time to heal.

OkJaguar5013 · 2025-11-15T12:34:38+00:00

It will get better. If you stay- it only gets worst. Still young to find another better woman. Wiser now

poop6969420 · 2025-11-15T11:42:34+00:00

At least yours didn't fuck your neighbor.

RespectInevitable479 · 2025-11-15T10:32:02+00:00

You are lucky you are only 38 and have no kids. Run and don’t marry again. You’ve been in a relationship since you were 20. You deserve time dedicated to yourself.

Freeman2be · 2025-11-15T10:01:50+00:00

Hang in there brother. Deep breaths and take a walk (seriously). It feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and there's no getting around it, things suck right now. But, the current situation and feelings are not permanent...things will get better. The bad news: you cannot control what she says/does. The good news: you can control what you say/do.

I don't know the details of your situation, but before moving out (if you own a home), consult with an attorney. You need to take a war footing now: get your finances in order, go no contact with her (if there is no chance of reconciliation/marriage counseling), and get a good attorney (regardless of cost). Additionally, consider finding a therapist - you have a lot going on. If you are not already doing so, hit the gym and hit it hard. Eat healthy and cut back on drinking (you are doing this for yourself, not her). Pray like crazy.

You got this.

Complex_Sympathy1078 · 2025-11-15T05:12:34+00:00

Hang in there. These are among the toughest times ahead. I’m 3 months separated and am barely surviving, but with hope with will get better

Title	Just in shock
Author	OkJaguar5013
Upvotes	35
Comments	40
Date	November 15, 2025 12:57 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1oxe3fo/just_in_shock/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-in-shock.1566541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566541

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