I’m about 9 months out from divorce and feel like I’m in a weird middle stage. I’m not in the acute crisis anymore, but I’m also not feeling good. Most of life feels flat, neutral, or slightly sad. It’s pretty exhausting.

I’ve actually put a lot of work into healing. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on who I am, what I value, and trying to let go of the marriage and the hurtful things my ex did. We were together for 16 years and I was pretty blindsided by the abrupt divorce and learning that she was cheating on me.

I’m also staying busy with social dancing, gym, seeing friends,voice lessons, reading, meditation, self-help, and house projects. That still only gets me out of the house like 2 1/2 days a week so I feel like I need to find another activity to do. I’m 39 and live in suburbs.

I am getting better, but I’m still pretty sad. I still feel stuck. And I’m starting to feel confused about what I’m even supposed to work on next. I definitely don’t feel ready to date, so that’s not really the issue. I just don’t know how to get from “surviving and working on myself” to actually feeling more alive and engaged in life again.

Has anyone else been in this phase around this point? What helped?