Is there any way I can get him to want to pursue a relationship with me?

Funflipflower · 2026-04-26T19:58:36+00:00

You cant make someone do something. They have to want it

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-04-26T20:52:42+00:00

Respectfully, I think he's both out of your league and also not that into you. Add in the fact that he doesn't seem to want a relationship at all right now and you're wasting your time and energy. Don't misunderstand. He'll date you. He'll likely sleep with you. That's all it's going to be, though.

Just_curious4567 · 2026-04-26T22:41:22+00:00

I’d go on the date with him, and just view it as practice. And if it turns into something more, great! The more dates you go on, the more confident you will become.

You should be ready with some interesting things to talk about.

You could also use it as an opportunity to do something or go somewhere that you don’t normally go. Go dancing, go to a new restaurant, go to a movie that you wanted to see but you didn’t want to go by yourself, etc.

Men also care less about what “class” you come from as long as you have goals and carry yourself well.

That_Difference_7638 · 2026-04-27T08:54:32+00:00

If you think you have to „work a little“ to make him come hither- don’t. Never go down that road. You’ll regret it long term.

I’m not saying women should sit tightly and never move for a man. But early on you really can’t do too little for the right man. Men fall hard and fast. He doesn’t need more or better arguments for why you’re his dream princess. You just ain’t it. He might meet that „one girl“ one day and get swooped away by her charm instantly- would you like him to wear your wedding band on his finger that day?

I think you’re fantasizing about that man and idealizing him exactly because you perceive he’d be a little bit „out of your league“. Which isn’t a bad thing in itself. But imagine, a wealthy man with strong work ethics, and family oriented: the same guy basically, except it is him who can’t stop thinking about YOU, who is excited to meet YOU ASAP- and that guy- which one would you choose?

I think you are a wonderful and reflective girl, and I pray your suitor sees your beauty instantly and will not hesitate to immediately „sell all he has“ (Matthew 13:44-46)

ShabbyJerking · 2026-04-26T21:39:45+00:00

Unironically, try playing video games with him online. If the dynamic starts shifting where he's into you and willing to put in effort, then go for it. In any case, with more interaction you'll be able to make a better decision yourself afterwards.

If you don't wanna play video games with him, the I suggest forgetting about it. This is the kinda scenario I've dreamed of when I was a teen. Few guys I knew that lived it just used the girls for fun and found other mates later.

-male

RoutineTiny8968 · 2026-04-26T19:30:41+00:00

Not worth it, starting with manipulation will finish very bitter. As my wise grandma used to say, never run after a man who is less interested in you than you in him. He should initiate, and you say he is into video games ahahha....Just let it go....

Rugby-Angel9525 · 2026-04-26T19:36:17+00:00

An hours drive would mean a long distance relationship, which I dont do.

AutoModerator · 2026-04-26T19:26:16+00:00

Title: Is there any way I can get him to want to pursue a relationship with me?

Author TraditionalTwist7092

Full text: I was on a dating app and matched with a guy about 2 months ago. He drove to my city, about an hours drive, and we had dinner. He drove me home. I had a pleasant time with him, he was clearly very work oriented and very serious about that, he was also respectful. It was clear that he was from a high class background, whereas I come from a low/middle class background. He was also good looking, I’m sure the waitress at the restaurant fancied him a little lol. He seems like the type of guy a lot of ladies would like.

After our date, we exchanged a few texts and arranged another date but then something happened on his side, we didn’t meet and after that he kind of ghosted me. I just carried on with life really, I liked him but it just didn't go anywhere. A few weeks passed, and I remembered him, I know it’s kind of bad of me but I decided to give him a text asking how he’s been. He responded , and at one point he asked if I’d be in his city. I told him I’d be happy and like to come up and see him, and he told me he’d love to see me when I get time. The following weekend and weekend after he was busy, and we are now arranging to meet next Saturday.

During our date he told me he has basically been disappointed by his dating life as he finds that a lot of the women he speaks to speak to several guys at one time, and he hasn’t had anything long term in a while. I am long term minded , and dont follow loads of guys on social media, so I hope that he would like that about me. But also, I notice he hangs around with friends a lot and plays video games a lot with them, im not sure how ready he is for something serious.

It kind of feels like neither of us was desperate to see the other , but I would say I’m more interested in him than he is in me at the moment. The more I think about it, I am excited to see him this weekend and spend time with him. I do find him a strong and masculine character which I really like about him.

I guess my question is, do you think it’s worth perusing? if so, how can I show him that I’d be a good option?

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Prissy-Platypus · 2026-04-28T16:39:00+00:00

"I know it's kind of bad of me" and you sent him a text. Girl, get a grip. You are allowed to pursue a man. Playing video games with friends doesn't disqualify someone from a relationship. You have some very toxic ideas in your head and should probably talk to someone to sort them out.

SeaMuted9754 · 2026-04-26T20:01:21+00:00

The way you put him on a pedestal makes it clear that even if you were in a relationship with this man you would ruin yourself for it. His status isn’t enough to put in that much effort.

If he’s putting effort and you’re reciprocating that makes sense

NewSpace2 · 2026-04-26T23:24:09+00:00

Wow him with a fun & cute personality. I dont pick up any ZING from your post. Impress him, somehow. Whatchu got? I know you’ve got somethin 😀

Organic_Grape_3488 · 2026-04-26T20:35:26+00:00

What kind of closeness are you hoping to find? Recently read a book called attached. This sounds similar to the start of a story about a woman who ended up married to an avoidant who never got close to her. She eventually divorced and found a better match for her.

Title	Is there any way I can get him to want to pursue a relationship with me?
Author	TraditionalTwist7092
Upvotes	12
Comments	24
Date	April 26, 2026 7:26 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1swgzql/is_there_any_way_i_can_get_him_to_want_to_pursue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-there-any-way-i-can-get-him-to-want-to-pursue-a.1578941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578941

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