Now I know 2

Anxious-One-2365 · 2026-06-23T20:06:38+00:00

Sorry you are going this. A couple things to consider, since you are living under the same roof:
- only communicate with her via lawyer, text or email or having a 3rd party adult present. That way you have a witness or documentation.
- visit your local police department to get your concern on file.
- invest in security cameras in the common areas of the house or buy a pair of meta glasses you can wear that will record every interaction.
- collect as much evidence of the affair as you can. Keep that in your back pocket, in case she makes false allegations about you in court or to family and friends.
- cancel any mutual credit cards and lock down your credit.

Fight for everything you can as she will put you through the wringer in the divorce. We have all seen that happen. Things are going to get ugly and you need to be able to defend yourself against any allegations she makes about you.

Good luck. Get every last second you can with your kids and every last dollar you deserve. She created this mess and now she has to deal with the consequences.

DarthDad25 · 2026-06-23T19:52:39+00:00

Seems like you’re handling this well, brother. Your story is eerily similar to mine. Wife came home and surprised me with the divorce talk. She has never once mentioned being unhappy to me. It was truly out of the blue. Sort of.. looking back, about 6-8 months before she wanted the divorce I saw her acting and dressing differently. Going out a lot more. Coming home later, and later. Then spending the night in the city with her girlfriend. But after 10 years of marriage and two small children, I naively trusted her because she has NEVER given me any reason not to. I thought I knew my wife’s moral standards. I was wrong.

About two weeks after the surprise divorce announcement, I overheard her talking over the phone on my security cameras to another man. The conversation was very flirtatious and inappropriate. They spoke about how they were each other’s type, how they’re attracted to each other and how they LOVE seeing and being together. Of course, he is a high achieving doctor…

That night I confronted her about it. She admitted to it and immediately left the house. To this day, she refuses to acknowledge infidelity or cheating and she blames me for the same “emotionally unavailable and abusive” crap that your wife played.

Fast forward two months, and the girlfriend she stayed the night with in the city called me. Turns out she just found out my wife and her husband were having an affair as well. They are divorcing now. My divorce is final next month.

Here’s what I’m going to tell you- your truth is different than her truth. Yes, our wives cheated. Yes, they’re wrong for that. Yes, it’s the worst betrayal you can do to another human, especially one you loved and trusted with your whole life for so many years. The hard part for us men to grasp is that our wives were probably unhappy for a long time and they found happiness in other men. Made them realize they didn’t want to be married to us. But at the same time, they didn’t know how to leave the family and the stability that the family structure provided. I’m not making excuses for what they did.. I’m just explaining how this possibly played out from the wives perspective.

I’ve been going through this for 1.5 years. I’m at the point that I also want this divorce. I am heartbroken and ashamed of how it all played out. But after 1.5 years of manipulation, narrative twisting, and lies.. I’ve realized this woman is not the woman I want to be with anymore. She isn’t the same woman. She is lost and I can’t be the one to save her.

Let her go. Prioritize what you want and need. Keep the children out of it. Respect your ex as the mother of your children and a woman you ONCE adored. No more than that and no less. You’re going to be coparenting with this woman for the rest of your life. You want peace in your life and for your kids. Having a bitter relationship with your ex will not help you achieve that goal.

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2026-06-23T19:52:31+00:00

Should’ve dug deep. That’s the only way to know the truth. And will make it easier letting. Post divorce… I’ve looked back at many red flags that I let slide. Just for the sake of staying together. Go find someone that’s right for you.

Tono-Ride-on · 2026-06-23T19:48:14+00:00

Do you have relative- mom, sister, aunt, anyone you can explain the situation to and have them live in the house until she is out.? You need a witness and you need to have the kids live with you or 50/50- why not?

randaleljr · 2026-06-23T19:46:15+00:00

My wife recently decided she wanted a divorce after I confronted her about lying to me on work trips and honestly about pretty much everything in general. I have pretty substantial proof that she was cheating(turned off location in the hotel bar at 12:30am and said her phone died) but she says I’m crazy and she can’t be with me because I don’t trust her. She’s hidden her finances since 2 months after we got married and became a completely different person around year 5 of our ten year marriage. She’s admitted in counseling that she pretended to be someone else so that I’d marry her and I was just supposed to accept her for who she is. She moved out 2 months ago and we haven’t spoken since. She refuses to file the divorce paperwork or respond to my attorneys as well. I’m really confused about how someone can turn so mean so fast, did I marry a sociopath?!

DivorceCharacter512 · 2026-06-23T19:34:11+00:00

Do the police station thing right away. Girls this angry dont let up by choice. They need to rub head first into reality or their fictional narrative takes hold and enough people start to believe them. If she'll lie about the infidelity, its only a stutter step away from everything else.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-06-23T19:27:55+00:00

I made financial concessions for the kids and she turned even more hateful. "Someone$ justa gwve her a brand new car while I am moving from one studio apartment to the next working 12h days. Keep that in mind, there won't be any plus points and kids might get alienated anyway which is common with cheaters - must be your fault, not hers.

Title	Now I know 2
Author	kykoo
Upvotes	15
Comments	11
Date	June 23, 2026 7:09 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1udqevc/now_i_know_2/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/now-i-know-2.1583472 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583472

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