Feeling disconnected

RavenEridan · 2026-07-03T17:39:46+00:00

Yup, I'm a black straight femboy and I felt this way too, I'm hated by both sides because both conservatives and progressives only accept a very specific type of male, a traditional masculine, charasmatic, stoic, protector man. Mainstream progressiveism is just right wing conservatism tbh, only difference is the gynocentrism is 10x higher and men are treated like a scapegoat/second class citizens that deserve hate and less rights.

"Progressives" keep talking about how they hate the pachriarchy and toxic masculinity, but when I come along and I don't exhibit traditional masculinity immediately get slotted in the gay role or trans/egg role, 9 out of 10 progressives I've met denied my identity of being a straight femboy and they assumed that im secretly gay and I must date men or be a trans women or both, if i say I don't want either they weirdly become hostile and say I'm a faliure/vermin/don't deserve to live.

Which is why I never voted for either side, nor will I ever contribute towards them in anyway shape or form, they are all selfish people in the end that only care about themselves

Centaur_Warchief123 · 2026-07-03T19:54:56+00:00

If we don’t take stand against the feminist bigots and the normalized dehumanization of men, no one will. Speak up.

HiggsFieldgoal · 2026-07-03T18:42:13+00:00

I’m sorry misandry is so trendy right now.

But, the only way through social propriety is to have some backbone.

It takes guts.

It would be nice to live in a time where there was no racism, sexism, bigotry, or hate.

I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Fuck. How do you think Black people feel.

But you don’t accept it.

Call shit out: “that is prejudiced bigotry, and I don’t think that’s okay”.

These opinions might seem impenetrable, but they’re not. They’re fragile.

If you speak up, you very well might get attacked, harassed, subjected to all of the venomous bigotry that was just waiting to spill out…

But, I promise you, they will think twice before posting something like that again.

That’s how it works. You do something, get 19 complements and 1 criticism, that criticism weighs heavily.

People do this sort of shit because it’s an easy way to GET social capital. It’s sanctimony “I’ll express a popular opinion, and it will make me look virtuous”.

It does not take a lot of threat of blowback for that behavior to be robbed of all of its would be bigoted social reward.

But you have to be the change you want to see in the world.

There are no times, in history, that I know of, where there wasn’t some standard standing bigotry looming over the world. That just happens to be one of the bigotries of our time.

Dizzy_Ad8555 · 2026-07-03T19:41:29+00:00

Actually, that i kept getting lambasted on other sites is why i landed here, there actually seems to be a bit of defense against being mocked or piled on for expressing pro-male views while pointing out the flaws of feminism, which has been missing from the conversation for as long as i've been alive.

What i find pleasant, is that there isn't much of that going on in this sub. Perhaps its because we aren't expressing hatred of women, but criticising the hatred of men expressed by women for the most, its all planted by the institutions. We seem to be shining a light on what the media doesn't, which is exactly what we should be doing because the bias is really overt nowadays and we need a voice too.

I guess i sort of feel awkward about speaking up about it too, but i feel like there is no other way because i've been on the receiving end of a lot of nasty treatment over the period of 30 years by feminists (the toxic ones). It is only that now other men are making themselves heard, that i feel i should weigh in too because i've said nothing about it for so long for fear of being admonished or socially punished for doing so. Free speech is universal, why shouldn't we voice opinions on something which matters to our gender? Not to take away from the problems that women face, because men as a group are not perfect, but then, nor are women. They too can be predatorial, violent and abusive in the household/work etc.

I'm fairly sure that a lot of us are just learning to find our feet in this arena because it is rough at the moment and it can be bruising to speak out against what has become a cult of man-hate. Its just good to hear i'm not alone.

shalala_baby · 2026-07-04T03:47:19+00:00

i know what you mean, and no you are not wrong. misandry typically goes hand in hand with gender essentialism which easily slips into transphobia and pseudoscience and all that other shit. basically, i think it’s a product of lingering subconscious bias. i’m sorry these people you liked said that :( i don’t think it makes them immediately bad people or negates their other beliefs, it just means they have more internal work to do than they or you realised.

i do think you should bring it up, even just so that you can regain that comfort you felt with them. if you’re worried about being accused of being right-wing or wrong, you could frame it in a way that it concerned you because of the gender essentialist messaging. if they are trans allies as you said, they shouldn’t react to this antagonistically since gender essentialism is a common terf talking point.

i hope this works out for you. you’re not at all wrong for feeling this way or being hurt by it. if these people are genuinely cool and open minded, bringing it up shouldn’t end badly, but if it does that suggests to me that their advocacy may be more rooted in virtue signalling. if that is the case, i promise there are definitely still online spaces where you belong. my own little algorithm bubble is very good at detecting those types of subtle prejudice that run through leftist spaces sometimes, so people who fully align with you certainly exist.

Argumentium · 2026-07-04T04:11:38+00:00

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. 🫂

You are not wrong for being upset and feeling alienated by your friends' misandry, that is a completely natural reaction to bigotry. Almost any human being would be hurt by bigotry directed at them, and it doesn't make you a weak person or emotionally immature for feeling/being hurt by misandry. There is no excuse for misandry, especially nowadays when people really should be more aware of men's issues by now.

Some people here are criticizing you for not standing up to misandry and calling it out, but truthfully I don't blame you due to the potential social consequences, and many people are simply too emotionally vulnerable to really take such a risk and come out unscathed. Perhaps it's not the "right thing to do", but if you have no other places you can really go to for support, that's understandable.

To be honest, I'm not sure i can provide much actual advice, but all I can say is that if you can't confront the community's misandry (or you do try to but they are completely unwilling to learn anything), then it might be time to leave it for another that actually takes misandry seriously. It might (and likely will) hurt to leave a community that you grew so fond of, but it'll be better than sticking to a community you know to have bigoted views against you mental-health-wise.

multihome-gym · 2026-07-04T14:45:58+00:00

Unfortunately, while the left often paints itself as an 'alternative' or a 'critical' way of thinking to conventional or 'middle-of-the-road' mindsets, within the left community itself there is a tendency towards groupthink or received knowledge, rather than reasoned debate or alternative viewpoints/theories that still fit within a leftist perspective. In the past, many academic leftists were similar to people like Noam Chomsky; a leftist intellectual who puts hard emphasis on detailed empirical research to support his critiques of US foreign policy, but who also has a jaded and/or skeptical opinion of postmodernism.

In leftist social communities, there is often no emphasis or allowance for reasoned debate *at all**. Everything is received wisdom, you are there to hear what is the generally accepted opinion of things like, say, family violence, and you are expected to parrot them back, no debate, no allowance for more recent empirical research. Nobody ever plays devils advocate in a discussion within a leftist group or meeting. Even if debate or playing devils advocate leads to better and stronger arguments from a critical perspective.

ChimpPimp20 · 2026-07-04T18:58:00+00:00

There was zero pushback but agreement.

Color me shocked.

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Heoomun · 2026-07-06T19:21:47+00:00

Well done for speaking out about something that didnt sit right in your gut. I know its hard when you receive pushback - ive received a lot of pushback - but ultimately I always come away feeling relieved that I stuck to what I felt was right. Misandry does exist, and we need to keep calling it out if we want to start making a difference. Ps. What ive found is the more I call it out, through all the mean or invalidating responses, there was always someone (or a few people) who needed the support and were greatful I did.

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graces_Daddy · 2026-07-05T05:37:06+00:00

There are two ways to deal with groups where misandry is presented as okay. One is to call it out, unapologetically, and be prepared to take the heat. It’s good to be hated by bad people.

The other is to simply leave. This is a perfectly valid response. It’s sometimes better for our mental health, especially when we know that we’re vastly outnumbered. Let them choke out all the positive voices in their little space. There will be nothing left but yes men and trolls. They will not even realize how they shot themselves in the foot.

But do not be fearful. Do not be quiet. Either be the dissenting voice or walk away. Either path is honorable.

Title	Feeling disconnected
Author	No-Credit7944
Upvotes	72
Comments	19
Date	July 3, 2026 2:20 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1umfs8v/feeling_disconnected/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/feeling-disconnected.1584181 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584181

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