Hard Next - She wants to have lunch with me and friends.

trp_ocd · Wed Jan 13 11:23:06 2016 UTC

Tell her no thanks something came up for work. If she wants you she won't talk shit. If you are indifferent, who cares what is said.

Abundance mentality, guys. Why is this still in doubt?

[deleted] · 2016-01-13T14:12:04+00:00

Don't go, she's trying to make you her beta orbiter again. Striaght up tell her "no thanks". Don't respond.

vox_veritas · 2016-01-13T13:57:33+00:00

You're "afraid"? Jesus dude, just do what you want to do. If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go, don't go.

[deleted] · 2016-01-13T16:11:12+00:00

Agree with most of the other commenters. Don't go on a "group lunch". Tell her "no thanks, busy" and then actually be busy and do something else.

Remember you hard nexted her which means no contact, so in reality you shouldn't even respond. And not responding to/blowing off a hard next isn't "flaking". It's standing your ground on hard nexting her. It's not wasting time and mental effort on someone who's not worth it.

Borsao66 · 2016-01-13T17:04:48+00:00

Lunch is a classic beta orbiter tactic for women. Its difficult to isolate/escalate and the friends will compound the issue.

Just keep on. FTB.

TDCRedPill · 2016-01-13T16:14:28+00:00

Don't, its a trap.

If she wanted you, she wouldn't risk friends around to see her rejection, and they'd get in the way if things got well. It's her wanting an audience for humiliating you and making sure people she cares about are there to see her rejecting you.

"She's a sweet girl and all, but we're clearly not compatible; I just dont feel any spark. But tell her I said Thanks, and I hope she can find someone who will make her happy."

walawalawa · 2016-01-14T16:31:39+00:00

She wants to make you an orbiter. You disappear. She invites you to lunch...with her friends=orbiter.

The fact you're here worrying about means=orbiter. Get an abundance mentality. Stop this obsessive thinking by catching yourself, stopping yourself, letting that anxiety of loss and worrying about what she may think pass.

It's hard. I just did this with a plate who I was banging for a year. She comes back from a 3 month trip, acting cool. Then bangs a friend of mine at a party...ok... Then starts to rationalize it "I was so drunk". She comes back after another month away reaches out. I don't respond. She starts calling. I don't respond. We see each other at a party. Another girl comes to meet me...she's all anxious. Girl leaves. I text my plate to come over. She says she's busy...Soft next. She calls. Ignore. She texts: ignore. Finally after a few days of ignoring her is her a reply: a thumbs up icon to some nonsense she wrote. Felt good.

the_Zambony · 2016-01-13T13:08:59+00:00

Tell her you do not do group dates.

prime_zero · 2016-01-13T12:40:29+00:00

I don't see a problem. You did try to plate her and failed (so far). She's trying to get you to commit / orbit (by involving you in her social circle).

If you only want to plate her and don't want to further commit, then do what was already suggested, bring up a work related excuse. Try to reschedule when you two can be alone.

Or..... If you know for sure there will be more girls there (not just the best friend) why not go? Ignore her, focus on the others.

At the end of the day, you should not care what she says. Only pay attention to what she does. DGAF. If you see results cool, if not then move on.

RedRhapsody · 2016-01-14T01:42:35+00:00

I'm afraid that by flaking this lunch she will tell everyone that I tried to fuck her and failed.

That's your man hamster talking. It's trying to get you to see her.

Don't be an orbiter, friend. Respect yourself.

FrameWalker · 2016-01-13T16:50:58+00:00

Get free lunch and fuck her friends...

stillnoturday · 2016-01-13T17:35:02+00:00

"nah I can't, but hey if you wanna grab/go/blah blah blah"

blackedoutfast · 2016-01-13T16:47:13+00:00

Would you normally go to something like that? If so just go have a good time and hit on her friends. Ignore the girl who wants you to be an orbiter unless she is buying you a drink.

Title	Hard Next - She wants to have lunch with me and friends.
Author	Izzenw
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	January 13, 2016 10:40 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/40rihe/hard_next_she_wants_to_have_lunch_with_me_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/hard-next-she-wants-to-have-lunch-with-me-and.159214 https://theredarchive.com/post/159214

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