How should I handle being a second choice?

cheeky_throwaway101 · 2016-01-23T00:18:59+00:00

You're not always going to have the right response at the right time. You did well not to act bothered. Get out there now and find someone else to go with. If/when she comes back to ask you out, you can say that you are already taken.

Maybe you could have laughed when she told you she was going to ask someone else, but you did well man.

MrFuckupKing · 2016-01-23T00:25:47+00:00

IMO It is better to be alone than to be second choice.

Attraction from a woman demands that you are first choice.

Anything less and you do not have attraction.

Only attraction protects you from what a woman inherently is.

If you fuck around with women where you are second choice you must be ice cold as seeing that about the relationship.

They must be nothing more than a thing that you use for your own pleasure and dispose of afterwards.

IVIaskerade · 2016-01-23T00:46:52+00:00

Take the time that you would have spent being her second choice, and use it to work towards the point where she wants to be your first choice.

TRPdating · 2016-01-23T01:02:43+00:00

Next.

keepyourkeys · 2016-01-23T01:08:38+00:00

She was just trying to make you chase her, you did well by not getting invested at all

0io- · 2016-01-23T01:11:05+00:00

Don't take it too seriously and if you think she's hot try to make out with her. The "other guy" talk is classic shit test. I wouldn't worry about being first or second choice, and I certainly wouldn't try to be friends with a girl. If you're interested in her, try to escalate. If not, who cares.

Whisper · 2016-01-23T01:34:28+00:00

You handled this correctly.

Enthusiasm would have been bad (beta orbiter material), and being offended would have been bad (concerned about being beta orbiter material).

When you're not sure what the best response is, "meh" is almost always a good response.

Continue to "meh", then if she ends up asking you, say "nah".

RunawayGrain · 2016-01-23T02:13:13+00:00

Go get a better looking girl as a prom date before she can ask.

CisWhiteMaelstrom · 2016-01-23T06:06:41+00:00

I would have told her that I don't want to go with her if I'm second choice. It would have given you some leverage where she wouldn't take a long shot. She'd also have respected you more for it because nobody respects someone who's okay taking second place.

What you should be doing now is finding another girl to go to prom with. It'll help you out with the first one much more because the first one will see that you're better than waiting around to be second and that you have some standards for how you'd like to be treated. It'll also help preselection for obvious reasons, and if this chick gets shot down (which she probably will since otherwise she wouldn't set up a second placer and he would have asked her) then she'll regret not going with you. That'll work heavily in your favor.

throwawaycomedian95 · 2016-01-23T06:08:11+00:00

Law 16: Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honour

RedAsBlood · 2016-01-23T06:27:57+00:00

Next.

Go ask someone else.

You are nothing but an orbiter to her.

Title	How should I handle being a second choice?
Author	TRPBoy
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	January 23, 2016 12:11 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/428eky/how_should_i_handle_being_a_second_choice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-should-i-handle-being-a-second-choice.159710 https://theredarchive.com/post/159710

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