Hello ladies,

my relationship question is not exclusively about romantic relationships but about all types of interpersonal relationships in general.

It's been about half a year since i discovered FDS and my life has changed drastically since then. My view on feminism did a 180 as I turned from liberal sex-positivity feminism to radical feminism. My productivity grew since I started to concern myself more with my own life and less with avoiding loneliness by being a people pleaser. I started to think that my main priority is to progress an take care of me and that others only have their place in my life if they are willing to contribute to my happiness (as I still contribute to theirs but without burning myself out). This led to a purge in my social circle. I kicked LV friends out of my life, went no contact with orbiters and other LVM/LVW. I began to think "What's your excuse for being in my life?" when something felt off. I was never "cruel" or "evil" - I would describe myself as becoming self efficient. Men act like that all the times. I guess you are familiar with this effect as well.

There is the thing: I don't feel the need to communicate. At all. I'm completely free of giving the benefit of the doubt to rude people. IDGAF if I might lose "good people" when I state my boundaries. Instead I see it as polite if I bother to state them in the first place instead of cutting them out. At the first sign of disrespect any sympathy is gone. I'm don't become angry; I don't become sad, resentful, hopeful, apologetic, optimistic or pessimistic. I just become indifferent. I don't fake ignoring them or anything. I don't play 'hard to get', neither do I sulk and wait for an apology. It's like when you look back to your first shitty situationship and think "Wow, this couldn't happen to present me. I'm long over them." but you don't suffer from heartbreak for months after splitting up. I experience myself as emotionally ruthless against disrespect but at the same time I'm not detached from actual loving people at all. More of the contrary. But my trust has to be earned and is easily lost.

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If I had to summarize my experience: I automatically reciprocate love with love and hate with ruthlessness based on indifference. I grew up with the opposite - to respond to love with indifference (since I felt undeserving) and to hate with empathy towards my abuser. So this is a huge change in my life.

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That's why I wanted to ask you if you experienced becoming a HVW the same way? Could you give me some points if I'm heading to the right direction or do you think I'm becoming an asshole? Is this what breaking codependency feels like?