How to get my BF to swallow The Red Pill?

LadyLumen · 2014-06-06T03:44:51+00:00

Am I the only one who has a problem with her sending her bf links that say "be like this" ? That's not really him being alpha, that's her making him follow a series of rules that he may or may not be comfortable with - which isn't a very alpha thing at all.

I think you should support and encourage your man to be his best self, not the ideal that you want to "shape him into." Human beings aren't putty that we shape into our ideal spouse, they are complex individuals with their own quirks and strengths.

Don't think of your relationship in terms of how RP it is. Think about what attracted you to your BF in the first place, are you happy with this relationship, are there things about him that make you uncomfortable that you could talk to him about?

One good strategy I agree with is stepping back from leadership and letting him make more decisions, be encouraging and promote his confidence, also tell him how you feel.

Also accept that some guys aren't meant to be 100% Alpha, if he was, you wouldn't be the only woman in his life. Some guys got a mix of Alpha and Beta traits.

Definitely talk to him about this stuff if it is important to you, but also realize that acceptance is important in a relationship. Some parts of him may not change, and you have to ask yourself if you can accept those parts of him.

TempestTcup · 2014-06-06T14:34:20+00:00

makes me realize he isn't living up to his full potential as a man

Ugh. You are a terrible girlfriend; you should leave him so that he is free to find a good girlfriend who doesn't say crap like this about her boyfriend. You are supposed to be supportive of your boyfriend if you are a RPW.

That being said, buy the MMSL Primer and give it to him. Step back and allow him to lead. And never, ever, EVER tell him that "he isn't living up to his full potential as a man". That is an awful thing to say about someone you supposedly care about.

TempestTcup · 2014-06-06T14:47:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

scallopkid · 2014-06-06T01:51:54+00:00

Send him this and tell him you really like these ideas and you're working on being a RPW. You really have to submit though. I haven't yet read it but everyone here swears by The Surrendered Wife. You have to be patient and give him time to implement the ideas.

2014-06-06T01:49:19+00:00

What would you like to see more of? Do you mean the sub itself?

Take a step back and let him lead. Your dependance and trust alone should be enough encouragement.

rpBlueSkye · 2014-06-06T03:13:46+00:00

You can send him links and say "be more like this", or you can look at yourself make changes and encourage him to be the best he can be.

I'm in this situation (making my SO more RP like) and over the past 3 months working on my own plan, my SO has stepped up and started improving. Its all about stepping back and encouragement.

Just one example, I'd love my SO to dress better when we go out. But telling him this really didn't do anything. I noticed areas in myself I could improve on like wearing makeup, putting on my contacts, and dressing better in gerneral. He noticed my efforts.
I also started mentioning things to him like "hey you know that blue shirt you have? I really like it, it shows off your biceps" Well he started putting more effort into his dress and now were both looking better.

I say just one example but there are many I could share. Reflect on what you can do to help him and what changes you can make to yourself to better your relationship, the rest tends to fall in place.

Bakerofpie · 2014-06-06T15:15:42+00:00

"He isn't living up to his potential?" What are you, his mother? I sure as hell hope you've never said those words to him, and if you do I hope he doesn't hold back on telling you all of the ways he would like to see YOU "live up to your potential." The first thing you need to do is look in the mirror. Do you deserve the kind of man you think he should be? Do your part first. Encourage him. Telling someone he isn't manly enough and it's a turn off is not going to help. Be the worthy counterpart to the man you want, even if he isn't living up to it yet. Be grateful when he takes charge. Tell him how much you're enjoying it when he acts as a leader. Do not keep some sort of score in your head about how "red pill" he is and try to tally up his "alpha points" until he graduates into an Offical RPManTM.

MrsStrom · 2014-06-06T21:33:26+00:00

Sounds like you need to be single. Seriously. You need to work on yourself and become the kind of woman that will inspire a man to be his best self.

This sub is about self improvement -NOT how to change the man you are with.

If he's not "good enough" for you, then I suggest you leave the poor man alone.

Luke666808g · 2014-06-08T11:23:22+00:00

Have a friend send it to him, so it's kind of like Inception, planting the idea without him knowing.

Then if he tries any RP ideas, give him good results.

Femme_Murican · 2014-06-06T11:41:34+00:00

Have a conversation with him about it, don't try to force it but definitely be clear with your needs but not just your needs, what you are bringing to the table

squishles · 2014-06-06T13:51:06+00:00

You might get him to expose more leading/dominant behavior if he's been holding back on it; if you tell him you're going for this sort of role. But if the parts you like aren't their waiting to be drawn out, this sort of stuff isn't equipped for getting someone else to change; a person can only change themselves.

FinnianWhitefir · 2014-06-07T05:12:13+00:00

Personally, I'm not sure why all the hate aimed at OP. I am still new so feel free to explain this more fully to me.

The whole concept of TRP is based off of ingrained instincts in women that most women aren't even aware exists, and the huge majority would deny outright due to being shamed by the extreme feminists point of view. Which is saturating our culture.

It is not OP that has instilled these undesirable beta traits in her boyfriend, but society through false information. He was probably trained up in beta traits from childhood on.

After much lurking in TRP, it seems to me (though correct me if I'm wrong) that the majority of men that come here and swallow the red pill do so because their relationships or seeking interaction with women have failed time and time again due to the lies and misdirection about what women truly need and desire in a man.

CrossGirl is clearly loyal enough to seek help that she has no idea how else to get. She could leave him for the next alluring guy that crosses her path, or she could fuck around behind his back, or she could just pack up and leave in hopes of finding herself a more appealing mate. BUT, she isn't doing any of that.

Instead she is staying loyal. She's sticking in even when it may be an easier option to just up and jump ship. To me, that says a lot about her. I do not think that that is what a lot of women would do in her situation.

To me, encouraging a man behind his back and through stealth to behave a certain way without his knowledge shows a lot of disrespect to him. Being up front with him, though gently (there is absolutely no need to shame him) is more straightforward and shows that you have confidence in his ability to process the situation and make decisions that he feels are correct when he HAS ALL AVAILABLE INFORMATION.

Right now, it appears that he is in the dark. Silently lamenting that your needs are not being met while he goes about thinking everything is okay solves absolutely nothing. And I wouldn't think that simply changing her own behaviors alone without his knowledge is a very fair thing to do either.

If he gets positive outcomes even when he behaves beta, that is counterproductive. The main ideal is that his behavior dictates hers. He is the captain.

SO, I would say, YES by all means tell him (again, gently and without shaming) so that he can TAKE the reigns, do not simply give them to him. That is disrespectful and he will not truly be the master of your relationship if you are the one nudging him in the back to do so.

I fear that there would be a backlash in the sense that if he is truly wrapped around beta behavior, he will feel guilty or even confused at you actively submitting to him without his leading you to do so. It might even cause him to try to overcompensate by being even more beta, since that seems to be working.

Sorry for the novel.

ColdEiric · 2014-06-09T23:37:46+00:00

Focus on making yourself better.

The single and only thing you can do to help him, that is this. Respect him. Find out why he, your boyfriend, is the man.

Title	How to get my BF to swallow The Red Pill?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	20
Date	June 6, 2014 1:37 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/27fnq3/how_to_get_my_bf_to_swallow_the_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-get-my-bf-to-swallow-the-red-pill.165449 https://theredarchive.com/post/165449

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